To feel so foolish for underestimating house renovation timescale

[Eastie77Returns]

Apologies this is long:((

We bought our house in March. I had a number of ongoing threads for months as there were so many ups and downs so felt incredibly relieved when we finally Completed.

It is a 3/4 bed semi and I knew it needed work when I first viewed back in September but only had a vague understanding of the level required. The survey/report didn’t flag any major issues so I told DP that we should move in upon completion and just renovate as and when.

When we went for the pre-exchange viewing in Feb (the first time I had seen it since September) it became apparent the kitchen and bathroom would have to be ripped out as they were in an awful state. The vendor was an older woman with significant mental health issues and the place had been left to wrack and ruin. Despite this I was misguided enough to give our landlady 2 months notice as I thought the house would be liveable in that time. DP, who has actually renovated houses before said nothing to dissuade me.

So we move out next week and the situation is this: bathroom is done but we are looking at least another 3 months for the rest. The rest of the house needs to be plastered, ceilings still to be taken down, complete rewiring, new flooring has been ordered and has a 4 week lead time and can’t be laid until plastering etc is done. I agreed to DP’s suggestions without understanding the timeframes such as moving the boiler into an exterior utility room which will take a several weeks as we wait for the engineer to remove and install the new one.

We will now have to stay with my parents which I am absolutely dreading (that’s a whole other thread). Kids schooling is up in the air as their new school is several miles from parents so would be easier to keep them at current school around the corner but think I have to move them now or loose the places.

I frequently feel like crying and wake up each day feeling anxious and stressed. I also completely understand this is a first world problem and there are millions of people with real and bigger problems than me.

Thank you if you’ve got this far. I’m just venting at my foolish naivety really and also hoping for some success stories from anyone whose renovations actually happened a lot quicker than they thought?

I was in your exact same situation this time last year. We needed a complete house renovation and extension. Our plan had been to stay in the house while it was done in sections but that would have taken more time and money. So we moved in with MIL. The full build took 16 weeks.

I did cry and have panic attacks when packing up as I have OCD. My doctor prescribed anti anxiety meds for the period and it is honestly how I dealt with all of the pressure as DH was not involved in any of the renovations. (Builder is his friend and I didn’t want their personal relationship to interfere)

we rented a storage unit which was a blessing. I had the same school issue but it worked out well as I needed to be on site almost daily so used the time while the kids were in school locally.

I am sitting in the most beautiful, bright room right now and it was all worth it.

I've done similar work to you but with an extension as well and was living in it whilst doing it. I'm now at the stage of kitchen and bathroom done but rest of house is in need of plastering and decorating. It's been 12 months, 8 without a kitchen and 4 weeks without a bathroom.

@Judithand1 thank you and reassuring to know you came out ok on the other side! Logically I know it will be worth it but I just feel panicked and stressed in the moment.

We had a fantastic builder who started work in the kitchen and finished some initial work before having to go abroad to deal with a family issue. He has left us in the hands of his colleague who is also great but vague about timelines and is juggling our work with another customer.

DP and I both work FT which adds to the pressure and I can’t take time off at the moment as it’s very busy. I have booked a break and hotel stay over the long BH weekend so we have something to look forward to away from my parents.

@gothereagain hats off to you, that sounds intense! Do you mind if I ask how you have managed without the kitchen? Ours will not be ready before July and I cannot fathom staying with my parents until then. I was thinking of some kind of camping cooker. Hopefully the weather holds and we will be able to wing it with that and a microwave/hot plate…

Oh love. You’re not being unreasonable in the slightest and certainly not foolish. Don’t go giving yourself a hard time on top of everything else!! It’s a fucking nightmare doing houses up, been there, done that, keep going and it will all be a memory one day.

Just push through, OP. It will be worth it in the end.

I’ve done a lot of renovations and used to project manage construction, the majority take longer than estimated. If you’d come in on schedule, that would be a rare accomplishment. So don’t feel bad, even the experts usually fall behind schedule.

You don’t NEED a kitchen short term.
Buy an electric hob, £50 on Amazon.
Microwave, kettle and fridge can be plugged in anywhere. Wash up in the bathroom sink. Not ideal but we all have to do it when having a kitchen redone.

Replastering, rewiring and ceilings much bigger issues though. Can you get a couple of rooms habitable at least?

@CindersCatsSister @Discovereads @SunscreenCentral

Thank you…I’m going to keep pushing through, just have to remind myself that this hard stage will hopefully be over before I know it. I was up at 6am today, boxing items up and trying to work out what to take to my parents, what can go to house and what to take to our storage unit. It felt a bit overwhelming but I feel better now. The sunshine is helping.

We bought our renovation project over 5 years ago (1930s 3 bed mid terrace that had previously been a student rental for decades). I knew it was going to need pretty much everything done but underestimated how long it would take us. And how hard it would be to live there at the same time. We only finally got a proper kitchen about a year ago! Still not finished house - the jobs left to do are relatively small but we've lost momentum. So I feel your pain OP, it's stressful. We have sacrificed so much for our house and yet still don't have it in a state where we can have people round for dinner (tools, work bench still in dining room).

Ha. Yeah.

im an experienced construction PM with bloody postgraduate level qualifications in construction project management. As are most of my colleagues.

in the world of commercial construction nowt ever comes in on time and under budget. And you’d laugh your socks off at how many of us screw up timescales on home renovation projects (me included) the main difference is we don’t beat ourselves up if a project drifts. because we see it all the time.

I set up a camp stove, microwave, kettle and air fryer on a table in the spare bedroom with my old fridge freezer and used an old IKEA kallax unit as storage for plates and food. We washed up in a tub in the bath.

Working full time actually helped as I wasn't in the house getting frustrated with it all. 2 young kids as well.

The key to managing this is absolute efficiency at this stage. Be ruthless in purging, be ruthless in boxing things in categories and labelling boxes. Put cheap shelving units in the storage unit that fit your boxes, store all your boxes with the labels facing out (so write your labels on the side that will face out). Get a storage unit that is close to your parents house, so its easy to nip over there, and get a bigger one than you think you need so that you dont have to double and triple stack everything
Only take the essentials to your parents house so there is less to manage in terms of mess when you have less space. Then when you need something, its easy to go and get it, or when you dont need something any more its easy to box and leave there (school uniforms for the summer). I would suggest categories like mugs and glasses. Cutlery and spatulas. Maybe even a basic kitchen setup in case you can do a temporary kitchen at the house. You dont want to be rummaging through 14 boxes with a head torch at 9pm to find a can opener. You dc also only need basic toys and clothes for a short while, imagine you are going on holiday, what would you pack (and then add school/work stuff)

With setting up a kitchen at the new house, you need power and water. You could set up a camping situation in the garden, but that is likely to get muddy given normal British weather, can you set up a table and kitchen area in the bedroom next to the bathroom upstairs? Then a cheap set of wire shelves will act as a pantry and a chest of drawers can be a work surface and hold a microwave, induction hob ring, kettle, toaster and a washing up bowl to carry everything into the bathroom for washing. The put a fridge and rubbish bin in the corner and it will do quite well.

The renovation is going to take longer than you expected, your main contractor has left and a friend is juggling you into his schedule which is already busy… it is going to take longer, so your best bet is to get a temporary kitchen set up asap and then you can bounce between living there, weekends away and the odd night at your parents when they have to leave the power off overnight etc.

My other top tip for keeping the project moving as fast as possible is to pick all your cabinets, doors, fixtures, fittings, tiles, door knobs, light switches, floors, paint etc now and only choose things that are physically in stock and then buy them. Most renovations I know of right now are being delayed by supply chain issues with sourcing materials. If the builder doesnt have something, he cant progress. I would also sit down with the builder and list out everything that needs to be done and in what order..make a gant chart ..if you can see the progress it will help you stay sane and it means you can ask questions to move things along if the builder cant see a way to progress

It is extremely difficult having your house renovated . I did it a few years ago and also moved out and it was stressful. Inlaws lovely but it’s not home . My advice is if it’s liveable live in the house. Put majority of furniture etc in storage and just manage with microwave/ kettle / toaster etc for a few weeks . Unless you have no electricity and running water I’d honestly stay in my house . Just try and keep sane by not worrying about the mess and read lots of house diy magazines for inspiration for when your lovely house is done .

I renovated my three/four (there's technically a fourth bedroom, but at just under 6' wide it's only possibly fit gif a nursery so is an office) terrace. I moved in as I'd already been living in Airbnbs for 8 weeks.
Any it will always take longer if you live there, so you will have to suck it up.
The kitchen wasn't too bad - they left the fridge there til very last minute and I was keeping the range. No sink was a pain. The worst probably when the main bathroom was being done - over three weeks and I go to the loo at least twice in the night so down the stairs, through kitchen snd then extension to reach downstairs loo, showers in my daughter's en-suite in the loft.
I'm now in the second month in the guest room as having wardrobes custom built for mine and moved out of it for new carpets and redecorating. Then the carpenter has delayed the job twice.
So it will have taken nine months. Not a room has not been done. I too have a storage unit. This house is half the size of my last so essential.
Worth it though!

@SeaToSki that is so incredibly helpful, thank you. I’m actually printing out your post.

I think I just didn’t plan properly as I’ve never renovated before. I’ve been focusing on nice to haves like new French doors, fancy flooring, a new front door etc and was oblivious to how much foundational work was required before any of those things can happen.

We already have a storage unit as I sold my property last year and we’ve been renting. The unit is almost full but a lot of the stuff in there can go to charity so I need to commit some time to organising a mini clear out.

We have electricity and water. At the moment the sheer level of dust and debris is what is preventing me from staying with the DC. DP will stay there as he is also working on the renovation alongside the builder.

My dad has messaged me about a meeting to ‘discuss’ our stay. I just hate the thought of living in my parents house where I had quite an unhappy childhood but we can’t continue to pay rent & mortgage. I left home at 18 and never looked back and now here I am. It is a huge house and they live alone so there is lots of space and I don’t want to come across as ungrateful but ‘D’F can be such an unpleasant person (although the kids love him) I doubt I will last longer than a week. I am feverishly looking up portable stoves on Amazon.

Ikea sell a single plug in induction hob for £50 or a double for £75, one of those, a kettle and a microwave and you'll be fine. Maybe a toaster.

Pick up a cheap/free fridge off FB or freecycle. You can manage

Have you room in garden/drive for a touring caravan? We did that for 6months -prioritised a bathroom/toilet in house -kids loved it -sold it on when job finished -still love a caravan holiday!

@kathmacc we have a huge garden. I thought about a caravan but wondered how we’d get it into the garden - we have side access but it’s very narrow.

We bought a house two and a half years ago that needed complete renovation. We planned to stay in our old house for six months while we got the heftiest stages done, but our old house sold much quicker than expected and our buyers were pressing for the sale to go through. As they'd offered full asking price we didn't want to lose them. So we actually only had 9 weeks before we moved in.

In that time we got the lofts boarded (so we could store as much as possible up there), boiler and gas fires replaced, new external doors, windows renovated, downstairs floorboards all stripped and varnished and all bedrooms decorated and carpeted.

So when we moved in the lofts and bedrooms were in a finished state, the property was secure, we had reliable heating and hot water and one of the messiest stages (sanding) we didn't have to live through. There was still a lot to do but it was certainly liveable. Replacing the bathrooms and kitchen and decorating all the other areas were done with us living there. It was not ideal but perfectly possible.

In the last year or so we've been doing the exterior and garden and finally nearly finished. The exterior has barely been any stress at all (except when our Internet cable got chopped in half!)

So I would say start with the inside, from the top down if possible and messiest/ most essential stuff done first.

Yes, we are trying to get all the messy stuff out of the way and work from the top down although we have had to prioritize dealing with an outhouse in the garden as we will be storing the boiler in there.

I woke up startled and sweating after having a nightmare that the ceiling in one of the rooms fell through and a builder gave us a quote for thousands of pounds. I was shouting (in the nightmare) that I do not have any more money and the builder was just chuckling. To be honest it feels more like a premonition as we are burning through our funds quite quickly and so much remains to be done.

Positive vibes. I've been saving for a year for our annual holiday to Wales and I booked it today. I could have put it towards the house but I think I really need this break for the good of my mental health

DP has just called me in meltdown mode as the skip I hired is almost full and we have a gardener coming tomorrow to sort out the absolute jungle of our garden and he needs the skip as well.

Hi all

Thought I’d provide an update. Sadly it is not a happy one.

In the month since I posted very little progress has been made. The new builder is a one man disaster. He went on holiday shortly after I opened this thread but promised that once he returned he would crack on with the required electrics, plastering and installing radiators. He has a couple of plasterers who have plastered one bedroom and partially plastered another but the rest of the house including the entirety of the ground floor remains untouched. No electrics completed, radiators not done which has a knock on effect as we can’t get the boiler installed and so have no hot water.

He had continually promised the electrics would be completed by this Wednesday and the plastering by Friday but there is not a hope in hell.

As far as I can tell he occasionally goes to the house for a few every now and then but there is no sustained period of work. Today no-one was on site at all and we have been unable to reach him. He doesn’t respond to calls or messages. We have no written timetable or schedule as to when work will be carried out. My mistake. I assume he is working on other projects.

We are due to have flooring installed w/c June 20th but this can only happen if the plastering is complete and the flooring team have made it clear they cannot carry out the work with the house in its current state. The following week the new kitchen arrives. The builder told us to order it for that week as he would be a position to install it then but again it just seems impossible. I’ve sent him messages this evening pleading with him to just call me and give me an honest update, if the job is too big for him just let me know.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like putting the house up for sale.

We stayed with my parents for 2 weeks and we are now in an Air BnB near the new house as the kids started their new school here. I hate dragging them from pillar to post plus it costs a fortune.

The last message from him (last week) requested we pay him the remaining balance for the electrics work even though the work is not finished. It all has to be cash as he is dodging the tax man.

I am completely stuck and no idea what we will do once the Air BnB ends as it is all so expensive.

Get rid of the builder you will be throwing good money after bad .

Get a new builder and agree schedules in writing with contingencies.

Do not pay! Do you have a cost breakdown on the quote/invoice? Has he completed what you've paid for?

Never pay in advance, there should be a staged release of funds triggered by milestones of work being completed to spec.