Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you let DC stay over?

104 replies

lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 20:34

NC because I'm probably going to be laughed at and might be being a bit "PFB" here... but here goes.

DC is 13 months old. Never stayed overnight away from DP and I before. A relative has offered to have DC overnight in couple of weeks time so DP and I can have a much needed date night and a "night off" for my birthday.

I was going to say yes ... but... relative has just got a new puppy (German Shepherd), 8 weeks old. DC has never been around dogs before. Puppy has never been around babies / toddlers before. This, on top of it being DC's first night away from us, is making me worry that it's not a good idea. DP doesn't think it's anything to worry about.

Would you be happy with this?

OP posts:
zaffa · 07/05/2022 21:30

User3568975431146 · 07/05/2022 21:03

German shepherds are fantastic family dogs so you do have the wrong end of the stick there I'm afraid. That said, I wouldn't let your baby stay over with anyone else as he's your son therefore should be with you. I'm afraid that parenting isn't part time.

I say this as someone with a DD who has never spent a night away from me and is 2 and a half - but that is just nonsense! Just because the child is hers doesn't mean she shouldn't encourage her child to form healthy relationships with other members of the family, and feel comfortable to sleep in their houses without her. What if something happened and she had to go to hospital in an emergency or she had a second child?

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 07/05/2022 21:33

@User3568975431146

you what? What a bizarre thing to say. Parenting isn’t part time… i think we all know this akd
deserve a break to chill and relax.

Superhanz · 07/05/2022 21:38

No way. I have a 6 month old and I'm a dog owner myself but I wouldn't be able to settle in that situation.

blinkybilll · 07/05/2022 21:42

User3568975431146 · 07/05/2022 21:03

German shepherds are fantastic family dogs so you do have the wrong end of the stick there I'm afraid. That said, I wouldn't let your baby stay over with anyone else as he's your son therefore should be with you. I'm afraid that parenting isn't part time.

😂😂😂😂

BurningBenches · 07/05/2022 21:42

It would be a no from me too.

Mum of 5, and 3 dogs.

Superhanz · 07/05/2022 21:45

User3568975431146 · 07/05/2022 21:03

German shepherds are fantastic family dogs so you do have the wrong end of the stick there I'm afraid. That said, I wouldn't let your baby stay over with anyone else as he's your son therefore should be with you. I'm afraid that parenting isn't part time.

Oh give over. Don't be so ridiculous!

blinkybilll · 07/05/2022 21:46

I would be fine with it as long as the puppy can be properly separated from the baby with a baby gate or something, and they are sensible and switched on enough to understand the importance of safety with dogs and babies.

Things like never leaving the baby alone with the dog, would never put the baby down to sleep and leave the dog unsupervised in the same room, dog doesn't have access to the room the baby will sleep in at night etc.....

I can't see a problem at all if this can be sorted and you trust them 110%

courtrai · 07/05/2022 21:52

At 8 weeks the pup will most likely be caged. I'm assuming your DF and DSM raised you and others without issues. My DF and DSM had my PFB overnight from about 3 months onwards. It never occurred to me that they would expose her to any risk. That said you can of course be honest and tell them if your concerns and ask that pup and DC are kept apart. I doubt very much that would cause any upset

FabulousKilljoys · 07/05/2022 21:54

lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 21:02

Those saying no because of the dog, is that because of the particular breed too? I have a specific concern about German Shepherds due to their "guard dog" tendencies. However I know this is only a pup so won't have been trained that way.

So are you never going to let your DC stay there because of the dog?

Honestly can't see what the problem is. It's an 8 week old pup. I own 3 German shepherds and they're just like fluffy teddy bears at that age!

Rosebel · 07/05/2022 22:02

I don't think I'd be happy. My brother had a German Shepherd who was badly treated before he went to live with my brother. When they had a baby he was absolutely fine with her. They were best friends.
But that might just have been luck.. My DS is scared of dogs which we didn't realise until he met a dog in the family. If he's not used to dogs and the dog isn't used to babies it would be a no.
Although I may possibly go down there5 and go out for a few hours for a meal for example but not overnight. It would depend on the set up and how the baby and dog acted towards each other.

Darbs76 · 07/05/2022 22:03

No, it’s a new puppy and it will need to get settled into its new home anyway without a small child around. I’m a dog owner and dog lover but I don’t think you’d relax anyway

Rinatinabina · 07/05/2022 22:04

Nope

Original poster
lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 22:12

So are you never going to let your DC stay there because of the dog?

I don't think I said "never".
Just that it's her first overnight with someone other than us, and the puppy is still settling in, and my DF & DSM are new dog owners. Too many unknowns.
I also wouldn't like the first time DD "meets" the puppy to be when she is being left there overnight. Just in case she's scared of it. Or in case the puppy is scared of her. You just never know. In time she'll get to know the puppy but right now it's too new. And many of the responses on here have confirmed this for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 22:16

Think I'll show DP this thread too so he doesn't think it's just me being over anxious

OP posts:
Indoctro · 07/05/2022 22:17

Not with a dog and even a young puppy like that. I know a man with a nasty scar on his face from 8 week old puppy biting his lip.

LorW · 07/05/2022 22:19

It’s a no from me, puppy’s are bloody hard work, let alone children 😂 especially a 13 month old, can’t take your eyes off either for a minute, got to have eyes in the back of your head and that’s without the risk that a puppy could hurt baby, even a puppy could do some damage.

StageRage · 07/05/2022 22:26

Inexperienced dogs owners
puppy not used to having a baby in its home
baby not used to being away from you
baby not familiar with relative (due to distance)
All adds up to a no from me.

Stevie6 · 07/05/2022 22:27

I have 3 DC and 2 German Shepherds, have done for 13 years, my youngest was 11 months old when we got the dogs as 8 week old pups. I'm not sure what exactly you think the tiny pup is going to do?!? I see the ignorance re GSDs still lives strong though. Any sane person wouldn't leave a baby and an animal of any description alone together, you either trust the people your leaving your DC with or you don't

Original poster
lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 22:37

@Stevie6

It's definitely not "tiny" - it's huge from the pics I've seen. Bigger than my DD that's for sure. I don't know specifically what I think it might do, but I'm not comfortable with the set up for the combination of reasons I've said already.

OP posts:
Original poster
lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 22:39

I'd also like to add that I love dogs myself - GS's are one of my favourite breeds. But I still don't feel happy with the situation.

OP posts:
Stevie6 · 07/05/2022 22:55

If it's bigger than your DD I would be questioning the age of the puppy tbh (not that it helps with your dilemma). A lot of op comments threw the usual anti GSD comments, I didn't specifically mean you

4am · 07/05/2022 22:58

No

FabulousKilljoys · 07/05/2022 23:07

Obviously your baby, your call. But we got our first German shepherd puppy when my DD1 was a about 6 months old, so granted I probably view things differently to you.

But at 8 weeks old a German shepherd pup isn't bigger than a toddler!

Do you not trust your DF to keep them separate?

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 07/05/2022 23:15

The German Shepard wouldn't bother me- my family had two and they were beauts, it's the newness of it all to everyone. Your df, the puppy and ds will all be in a new situation- too many variables for me. Wait until the dog is established in his home.

Sunnytwobridges · 07/05/2022 23:23

I would be okay with it.

but you shouldn’t do it as you’re already worried so you won’t enjoy yourself and it would be a waste of time.