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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you let DC stay over?

104 replies

lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 20:34

NC because I'm probably going to be laughed at and might be being a bit "PFB" here... but here goes.

DC is 13 months old. Never stayed overnight away from DP and I before. A relative has offered to have DC overnight in couple of weeks time so DP and I can have a much needed date night and a "night off" for my birthday.

I was going to say yes ... but... relative has just got a new puppy (German Shepherd), 8 weeks old. DC has never been around dogs before. Puppy has never been around babies / toddlers before. This, on top of it being DC's first night away from us, is making me worry that it's not a good idea. DP doesn't think it's anything to worry about.

Would you be happy with this?

OP posts:
MarJau26 · 07/05/2022 20:51

Nope, nope, no.

Original poster
lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 20:53

parietal · 07/05/2022 20:49

Is dc bottle fed? Has he/she had nap times without you & gone to sleep easily? Does he spend much time with this relative in the day? Has this relative done babycare in the last 10 years?

If any of those are a no, then no.

  • Bottle fed yes
  • Day time naps without us, yes. Going to sleep at night time without us, no. We've never tried it as she's not stayed away from us yet.
  • DF and DSM don't spend a great deal of time with DD due to the distance they live away from us. Probably see her about once every 6-8 weeks.
  • baby care - yes. Both really good with babies and have looked after other relatives' babies a number of times.
OP posts:
Original poster
lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 20:54

coffeecupsandfairylights · 07/05/2022 20:48

The puppy wouldn't bother me.

But do the relatives really know what they're taking on when they're agreeing to have a young puppy in the house as well as a baby/toddler?

Probably not to be fair.

OP posts:
coffeecupsandfairylights · 07/05/2022 20:56

lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 20:54

Probably not to be fair.

Show quote history

My concern wouldn't be that the puppy would be dangerous to the child, but more that both need huge amounts of supervision, and neither will probably settle easily or sleep through the night.

I think they're slightly mad for volunteering to do it until the puppy is older, settled and in a good sleeping routine!

tuscanleather · 07/05/2022 20:56

Nope.

TheCanyon · 07/05/2022 20:57

The relative will be so hyper aware though.

JaniceBattersby · 07/05/2022 20:58

It would be an absolute no from me I’m afraid. I’ve found some people with dogs get very complacent, very quickly and think there is no problem leaving kids in the same room as dogs without an adult there.

My friend used to frequently leave her baby in the Moses basket and her absolutely huge dogue de Bordeaux asleep while she watched the telly in another room. I did tell her I thought it wasn’t a good idea and she laughed at me.

angelikacpickles · 07/05/2022 21:00

No (because of the dog, otherwise would be fine).

trtt · 07/05/2022 21:01

B

trtt · 07/05/2022 21:02

trtt · 07/05/2022 21:01

B

Sorry was just testing I could pos as the site wasn't letting me, please could my 'B' be deleted? @MNHQ

Original poster
lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 21:02

Those saying no because of the dog, is that because of the particular breed too? I have a specific concern about German Shepherds due to their "guard dog" tendencies. However I know this is only a pup so won't have been trained that way.

OP posts:
Hallyup89 · 07/05/2022 21:02

No, I wouldn't be comfortable with this. An unknown puppy could easily hurt a small child unintentionally.

User3568975431146 · 07/05/2022 21:03

German shepherds are fantastic family dogs so you do have the wrong end of the stick there I'm afraid. That said, I wouldn't let your baby stay over with anyone else as he's your son therefore should be with you. I'm afraid that parenting isn't part time.

Autienotnaughtie · 07/05/2022 21:05

No a young puppy is unlikely to be vicious but they mouth, nip and scratch. I would not be comfortable

Footlooseandfree · 07/05/2022 21:06

I wouldn’t - as I didn’t leave my DD overnight or for any length on time before she could clearly understand what was happening and when I was coming back as well as being able to communicate with me, so around 2.5/3 years old.

the puppy wouldn’t worry me at all - puppies and babies are usually great together

DogsAndGin · 07/05/2022 21:06

Absolutely no chance!

Original poster
lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 21:09

@Footlooseandfree

I had to leave her with a CM at 8.5 months unfortunately when I went back to work. I wish I had the luxury of choosing to not leave her until she could communicate with me, but sadly I o afford not to work. Still upsets me now some days to leave her for work. So I don't actually know if I'd find it easy to leave her overnight, puppy or not!

OP posts:
GiltEdges · 07/05/2022 21:14

lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 21:02

Those saying no because of the dog, is that because of the particular breed too? I have a specific concern about German Shepherds due to their "guard dog" tendencies. However I know this is only a pup so won't have been trained that way.

German Shepherds are highly trainable dogs, in the right hands. Absolutely no reason for a family dog to have "guard dog" tendencies, particularly when you're talking about a very young puppy Confused And I say that as the owner of two rottweilers, who are fantastic with my own DC.

If you trust your DF and SM I wouldn't allow the puppy to be a reason to put you off. There are two of them afterall and if they have experience of looking after other relatives' children then they should be fine.

JustLyra · 07/05/2022 21:16

If you trust them to look after your DC then I would.

That said I get slated on here in the past because of the time my kids have spent with my PIL.

Good relationships with family members that you trust are worth their weight in gold imo.

As long as you are nearby the first time in case it is too much, and you trust your DF and DSM to be honest if it's too much, then I would.

Talk to them about their plans for the dog. Theres a big difference between scatterbrained people who haven't even thought of it and sensible dog owners who already know what they'd do to keep things safe and good.

Partyof2 · 07/05/2022 21:17

I wouldn’t be comfortable with this either. And actually find it very reassuring that other people are clearly as overprotective and anxious as I am about their little ones!

sausagesandchamp · 07/05/2022 21:18

No because of the puppy. I'd be very happy to visit them (& puppy) but wouldn't put the huge responsibility of baby safety around a new dog on them.

comealongponds · 07/05/2022 21:18

No a young toddler and a puppy who’s never been around children is not a good mix

Original poster
lancsgirl85 · 07/05/2022 21:18

Partyof2 · 07/05/2022 21:17

I wouldn’t be comfortable with this either. And actually find it very reassuring that other people are clearly as overprotective and anxious as I am about their little ones!

Yes I feel reassured by the responses too. I was expecting "PFB" type comments!

OP posts:
fortheloveofcheesecake · 07/05/2022 21:21

I would not be comfortable at all...they've not had a dog before, dog not used to babies, baby not used to dogs, first time away so you'll be anxious anyway. Absolute no. You won't relax and enjoy yourself anyway so it's just not worth it.

munchbunch12 · 07/05/2022 21:25

Hallyup89 · 07/05/2022 21:02

No, I wouldn't be comfortable with this. An unknown puppy could easily hurt a small child unintentionally.

Yes, I'd feel like that too!