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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be unreasonably scared of weight training

71 replies

blinder · 05/05/2022 08:34

So, I keep hearing that the way to fitness is lifting and weight training. Also, the women who do it seem to genuinely love it.

I recently joined a gym and so I now could start a weight regime, but I’m scared to start. My fears -
Looking like an old and flabby harridan amongst all the strong and fit people.
Getting injured (what if I ruin my knees or put out my back?)
Boredom. Oh I pick something up and put it down again? Twenty times? Then another thing? For an hour?
Being so weak that I can’t make any progress.

Please, weight trainers, give me tips to get past these fears and get into lifting. I know it’s good for me. I’m just intimidated by it.

OP posts:
OnceAgainWithFeeling · 05/05/2022 08:36

I’m 6 weeks in to my weight training journey and I love it like I’ve never loved anything before.

I have a PT helping me who has just run a free 1 week online thing to help remove gym-timidation. I didn’t just boss it in a new gym full of muscle bound blokes, I walked through central london in my gym leggings completely confident. 😁

I’ll PM you her details as she may well be able to help you.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/05/2022 08:37

I would advise a personal trainer for at least couple of sessions.

First get used to doing squats. You won't even be lifting any weights until you're mastered those. PT will show you technique without hurting yourself. Please don't just try this by yourself. Do any of your friends doing weight training?

Start small and work up. It doesn't matter what you look like in comparison to everyone else.

I used to do squats with a medicine ball (you get those in different weights too) and built up that way.

MadameDragon · 05/05/2022 08:39

Don’t be intimidated by others. Once you know how to do it you’ll realise an awful lot of them are doing it wrong.
If you can, get a trainer for your first and tenth sessions.
It seems very quick and efficient when you are doing it. I nip in after the school run.
It’s also quite balletic when you are doing it.
Listening to podcasts helps.

MaryBeardsShoes · 05/05/2022 08:39

I've recently started incorporating weights into my workout, and surprised by how much I enjoy it. I thought it would be dead boring. I find it's really easy to see progress (certainly at the start), as each session I can increase the reps or put the weight up so I have a clear number showing progress!

rookiemere · 05/05/2022 08:40

Sounds like either you need a few sessions with an instructor, or if your gym has it start off with some Body Pump classes.

Proper lifters will come in and say how useless it is because it focuses in high repetitions so it's more about general fitness and toning rather than building any muscle. However it's a good introduction to techniques and getting used to actually lifting weights. Our classes - particularly the day time one on my Friday off work - have a mixture of participants including middle aged not particularly toned or fit ladies such as myself.

ShirleyPhallus · 05/05/2022 08:40

Weight training is absolutely brilliant and everyone should be doing it.

the first thing to do is understand how to do the moves with absolutely no weight whatsoever. Form is important and it’s better to do just body weight than lump something around that’s too heavy - that’s how you get injured.

look for a PT for the first few sessions to get you started and a programme. But there is something amazing about lifting a weight 10 times and struggling on the last few reps, then the next week you can do a few more or lift a heavier weight:

much much more interesting than running on a treadmill I promise!

Nospringchickendipper · 05/05/2022 08:50

I have started doing weights in the gym and I’m booking some sessions with a pt so I can get the right technique and not injure myself.
There is a Weights Room topic on Mumsnet I look on there to see what people are doing.
When I am confident enough to lifting I might post on it.

Lilyhatesjaz · 05/05/2022 08:54

I am the wrong side of 50 and I do a kettle bells class which I really enjoy. I prefer to exercise in a group

Itloggedmeoutagain · 05/05/2022 08:54

Absolutely get yourself a PT even just for a few sessions
Ignore all the others in the gym, trust me they were where you are at one point and they're not the slightest bit interested in you. If I see someone starting out I think good for them!
Keep a record and watch the progress

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/05/2022 08:55

Oh I pick something up and put it down again? Twenty times? Then another thing? For an hour?

Believe me, you won't be doing it for an hour!

Comedycook · 05/05/2022 08:58

If I was you I'd try a body pump class first or get a PT to show you what to do

wwyd2021medicine · 05/05/2022 08:59

There are always weights machines that you could start on? I have built my muscles considerably with those. I then went to to doing work with dumbbells like squats, lunges, shoulder and chest work
This may build your confidence in the gym environment before lifting

Vetoncall · 05/05/2022 09:01

If you haven't already you need to book sessions with a trainer who can assess your strength and mobility/range of motion, show you proper lifting technique and put together a programme for you. If you start randomly lifting weights without a plan in place or good form you probably will end up bored and discouraged and quite possibly injured. It's easy to over or under train certain muscle groups, develop poor technique and bad habits that lead to injury, do too few or too many reps and/or use the wrong weight for the exercise or your ability level if you dont know what you're doing.

I do CrossFit 6 days a week plus a lot of extra weightlifting/accessory/mobility work. I'm about 10 years in and completely obsessed with it but I can't overstate the importance of good technique and a structured plan of which exercises/reps/weight to do in each session, plus accessory/mobility work. You need to progressively challenge, overload and rest/recover your muscles. It's very much a process but 'newbie gains' are definitely a thing so if you do it properly you can usually start to see positive changes pretty quickly which is really encouraging.

QuirkyTurtle · 05/05/2022 09:03

I started training years ago and had similar fears. If you can afford it, look into getting a PT for a few sessions to show you the ropes, that's what I did. Most gyms also offer strength training classes, so you can learn some of the basic movements there.

ShirleyPhallus · 05/05/2022 09:03

Comedycook · 05/05/2022 08:58

If I was you I'd try a body pump class first or get a PT to show you what to do

Body pump is great to get your confidence up but it’s terrible for form as the instructor can’t correct everyone, the number of people I’ve seen with terrible form (particular on the clean & press section) is really high. Even the instructors often just bob up and down on the squat track without properly doing the movement

Nowomenaroundeh · 05/05/2022 09:05

Lilyhatesjaz · 05/05/2022 08:54

I am the wrong side of 50 and I do a kettle bells class which I really enjoy. I prefer to exercise in a group

I know this is way off topic but please don't describe yourself that way. You are not the wrong side of anything, you are exactly where you should be. And bonus points for taking care of your health and fitness.

OP I own a fitness studio, 90 percent of the clientele would fall into your bracket. Do not ne afraid. You will make progress and feel fantastic. I echo what pl say about starting with just your bodyweight to get the correct form and booking a PT for a few sessions.

NightmareSlashDelightful · 05/05/2022 09:08

Personal trainer (some of the time) here so maybe I can help answer some of these.

Looking like an old and flabby harridan amongst all the strong and fit people.
This one can be difficult to navigate because we all tend to carry around the negative and vulnerable images of ourselves. I know your remark is somewhat tongue in cheek but rest assured, you won't look like an old and flabby harridan. You'll look like everyone else in the gym; a person interested in, or dedicated to, improving their fitness and strength. Most people don't pay a lot of attention to other people anyway.

Two things to remember: 1) There is usually a whole range of people working with weights, of all body shapes and sizes. 2) Even those glossy super-fit people started somewhere; some of them were once a different body shape and set a goal to change that, some of them were shy and unconfident teenagers or young people looking for a hobby or outlet. Some of them were in exactly the same position and mindset as you, just at a different time.

Besides, everyone gets that negative internal voice. Everyone. My brother's boyfriend, who is also a PT, looks like if Zac Efron and Chris Hemsworth had a lovechild. He's been on the front cover of fitness magazines. And he still has that internal voice negging on him, and has worked out strategies to overcome it.

Getting injured (what if I ruin my knees or put out my back?)
Technique and form are the key to this. Ideally, a session or two with a personal trainer with a specific goal of proper form instruction would help sort this. It's good to start with the basic compound moves - squat, bench press, deadlift, lunges, push-ups, pull-ups etc - because working out these movements (and the stabilisation process) for those will help assist most of the other movements too.

Boredom. Oh I pick something up and put it down again? Twenty times? Then another thing? For an hour?
Depends what kind of training you do but not always 20 times and not usually for an hour. If you're training for strength it's usually reps of five or six, with long rest periods in between. If you're going for muscle size it's eight to 12 reps and shorter rest periods. If you're after endurance, it's 15+ reps and shorter still rests. Some people do an hour in the gym, some do 20 minutes. You can design a programme for the time you have available, to an extent.

Weight training can also be meditative. It's oddly focused because you have to be thinking about what different parts of your body are doing, and in what order. Concentration is crucial. So although it's repetitive, in a certain way, it's also quite absorbing.

Being so weak that I can’t make any progress.
Weight training is like yoga - a journey. So don't think of it as weakness, reframe it as steps you need to take to get from A to B. Again - everyone started somewhere.

gamerchick · 05/05/2022 09:13

Look for classes OP. Don't worry about how you look, nobody cares. Classes keep it interesting and you'll feel amazing afterwards.

VioletCharlotte · 05/05/2022 09:14

I do Body Pump which has helped me understand what I should be doing!

If you go on You Tube and search weight training for women, there's loads of workouts you can follow. I play them in the gym through my headphones. I find that's easier than trying to work out a routine for myself.

pearandsausage · 05/05/2022 09:20

I joined a CrossFit gym a couple of years ago and have grown to love the Olympic lifting. I'd never touched a barbell before I joined and now it's my favourite thing. I don't lift anywhere near as heavy as a lot of people but I have been focussed on my form and learning the proper technique, the weight will come in time.

I resisted joining the gym for a long time (my husband is a member) as I didn't think CrossFit/functional fitness was for 'someone like me'. Ours is a relatively small gym in a relatively small town and there is every type of person in there - the super fit gym rats, those that only go to do the lifting and suffer through the rest, people like me who you'd never pick as someone who goes to the gym 4 times a week and also a decent number of 75+ year olds!

I would urge you to get a PT, or join a gym that does small group PT - based around functional fitness or CrossFit. Don't worry about other people's perceptions or what anyone else is doing, focus on your journey. I couldn't do proper press-ups on my toes when I joined and now I can get 45kg above my head!

gannett · 05/05/2022 09:25

I only do basic resistance work but I recognise a lot of your fears from when I started running.

I wasn't old or fat but I could barely jog down the road without collapsing in a heap. Embarrassing to be seen doing that in public, I thought. 14 years on and I run 17km twice a week - and you know what, I barely notice other runners, but when I do see someone who looks like a beginner, I genuinely just think "good on you, how amazing" because they remind me of me when I started.

Injury - as PP have said book yourself a proper session with a trainer, they'll show you the right technique to avoid injury. Not sure how much this applies to weights but with running it's the stretching before and after that's really important. (Also this is the most boring bit.)

Also thought I'd get bored running for an hour with nothing to distract me, and I've yet to find headphones that are comfortable and stable when I run. Turns out focusing on your technique, your form and the ways in which you feel yourself getting better takes up a lot of concentration and really helps you get in touch with your body. But when I do press-ups and crunches etc I just bang on some tunes and that gets me through easily.

Too weak to make progress - this I can guarantee is not true if you keep at it!

emmathedilemma · 05/05/2022 09:48

Does you gym have the weights resistance machines? They're a good place to start as you're less likely to injure yourself than free weights. The gym should offer an induction and build you a programme, take you through technique and find the right weights for you to start with. If they don't it's well worth paying for a personal trainer session or two.

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 05/05/2022 09:53

Following for advice😅

UseOfWeapons · 05/05/2022 09:57

Been weight training for 38 years, and I love it. Not everyone does, try it and see. I’ve never been a member of a gym where there are people who peer at others in a sneery way, or who care what you look like, you’re in the wrong gym if this is the case. I’ve been going in the same old gym kit for years, no one notices or says anything, and I don’t notice others either. We help new members out if they are unsure or struggling. Good technique will reduce the risk of injury, so focus first on the movement, rather than the weight.
It’s ok to not like it, an friend of mine tried it, hated it, carried in for a bit, dropped it. Tried skating instead and loved it! To each their own.

lljkk · 05/05/2022 10:06

everyone should be doing it

pffft. Am pretty sure no PT would take me on if I tried. Due to chronic uncertain shoulder issues. And other joint pain (all joints) since last 30 years. I did 15 weeks of 2x/week weight training when I was 18: I was only person in group who had zero improvement.

I would share OP's fear it's mind-blowing boring, butI hope we're both wrong & OP finds way to hugely enjoy it.