To be unreasonably scared of weight training

[blinder]

So, I keep hearing that the way to fitness is lifting and weight training. Also, the women who do it seem to genuinely love it.

I recently joined a gym and so I now could start a weight regime, but I’m scared to start. My fears -
Looking like an old and flabby harridan amongst all the strong and fit people.
Getting injured (what if I ruin my knees or put out my back?)
Boredom. Oh I pick something up and put it down again? Twenty times? Then another thing? For an hour?
Being so weak that I can’t make any progress.

Please, weight trainers, give me tips to get past these fears and get into lifting. I know it’s good for me. I’m just intimidated by it.

Weight lifting doesn’t mean lifting your body weight in iron above your head

it can also mean doing strength training in body weight, body weight squats, push ups, lunges etc. All hugely help with mobility, bone density (esp as women get older), muscle mass etc. Plans can be easily tailored to meet what the client wants.

A good PT only works to what the client wants. If you have joint pain or mobility issues they’ll tailor a plan to include loads of rehab and address that. It’s really not all “you must lift the heaviest weight or you’re fired” type stuff

Thank you all so much! Reading now (whilst relaxing in the bath 😬)

The thing that scares me about it is getting a thick neck and waist.

I absolutely second Body Pump. It's brilliant and you get strong while having fun, and you can adapt the weight to your level at the time!

Have I stumbled upon the most encouraging and supportive group of women on Mumsnet? You wonderful vipers are almost making me cry with your advice.

this in particular really made me laugh…

Besides, everyone gets that negative internal voice. Everyone. My brother's boyfriend, who is also a PT, looks like if Zac Efron and Chris Hemsworth had a lovechild. He's been on the front cover of fitness magazines. And he still has that internal voice negging on him, and has worked out strategies to overcome it.

Excited for you OP, weight training is the BEST and the only form of exercise I've ever really loved and stuck with.

Im a relative newbie (2 years) but It will have a huge impact on your confidence, your core strength/posture (and therefore help with any niggly back or shoulder pain etc). You will lose inches without really trying, get a slimmer waist and stronger thighs, more defined arms, and generally just feel better in your clothes, even if weight loss isn't your aim.

But mainly, and more importantly, you will feel amazing - the feeling that comes from knowing you can lift heavy things, and seeing your improvements week by week, is just unbeatable. It's fantastic for self esteem I find.

Everyone has their favourite lifts but I'm a big fan of the compound lifts - dead lifts, back squats and bench press. Big numbers and so satisfying! Also help you sleep, weirdly.

Echo others' comments on getting a PT for a few starter sessions to get correct form and really understand what you're doing.

Welcome, and enjoy :-)

I find weight training more fun than cardio.

Used to do loads of cardio at the gym, fine but I always needed a podcast or some music to get through it.

With weight training I really enjoy the challenge and am more engaged in it, and it's also more effective in toning you up faster.

Just give it a go, and the last thing you need to worry about is what other people at the gym think - everyone has to start somewhere.

I would second the advice to get a PT for the first few sessions, but don't just go with whoever the gym recommend. Shop around a bit, and get recommendations for someone who suits your style.

I have a PT but she is not like most PT's - she is really friendly, easy going, and body positive and works at whatever level you are at. You have to find the right fit for you. Good luck!

Get a PT session booked in and e open qnd honest with them about your fears, they will help guide you through!!

Good luck

Okay I’m booking a PT appointment, and concentrating on form. I can squat and lunge because yoga, but I can’t push up or pull up for the life of me. I don’t mean I can’t do several push ups. I mean I can’t push. Up.

But you all make it sound like fun, and you all have that kind of grounded cheerfulness that I want more of! I’m sold!

I love weight training. I thought I’d find it boring too, but I really don’t. I love focusing on the mind-muscle connection while I lift. Plus you can progress quite quickly, it’s so rewarding to go up a couple of kg.

Go for it! Fat, thin, short, old, beautiful, young, ugly…it doesn’t matter! If you want some confidence then as others have said a PT is a good idea to start with.

Definitely a PT!! I adore mine and it's just a monthly cost i factor in now as I'm not giving her up. I can't do it on my own - well I could, but I won't push myself. I can deadlift 62.5 kg and leg press 170kg now which I couldn't ever imagine doing once upon a time!

I sound like you, the way I did it was get a PT to show me the ropes, then I mostly use machines, the ones near the free weights area because there are lots of very good looking men in there.

Also I listen to music, makes it a lot more enjoyable.

Remember noone cares what you are doing or what you look like, they're totally all focused on themselves.

I am in the same boat as the OP and have been reading with interest.

Can I ask those of you who have recommended Body Pump what a class actually entails? Does that class description mean the same thing in all gyms? I can see the value in a class environment but definitely have a fear of booking myself into a session which I humiliatingly have to leave in the middle!

You won't get a thick neck unless you do weights for your neck.

Body Pump is the same everywhere, it's a brand and the instructors have to use the same music and do the same moves.

The reason it's not boring is that it really engages your mind - especially free weights. You think about position, breath, which muscles to engage with each rep. As you get tired, you focus on how to keep good form, or how to slightly adjust to give you more energy to complete the set.

Start small, pick up good form technique and then increase weights. I love it.

There are some really lovely responses on here!
I have a weekly session with a PT and have done for 4 years now. It used to be just us in a private gym but they had to find somewhere else after all the lockdowns and I was a bit nervous of being in a gym with others but honestly it's really given me a boost.
I'm still flabby round the middle and not at all 'buff' but am training to keep mobile and fit and preserve bone density (am perimenopausal)
I'm this saggy looking middle aged woman in a gym frequented by a local wrestling squad, and without fail they are all so encouraging of me turning up every week even on the days my anxiety/mental health make it really challenging.
They cheer me on when I up weights and those last couple of reps are pushing me. When I feel like I am not making progress my PT points out how much stronger I am, and that my chronic shoulder and neck pain has gone away because I have built stability in my body.

If I really wanted to go all out and start working towards a more defined and toned look then I could. That doesn't HAVE to be what weight training is.

I have been a runner for years but started weight training about two years ago to help with that. Now I do more weight training than running!

I did use a PT because she was doing online support for a reduced price due to lockdown (I bought a load of weights for at home training, which cost a fortune but was the only option at the time) and I still use her to design my workouts, which is much cheaper than her actually training me in person.

I'm in my 40s and honestly my arms and legs have never ever looked better. I've never been really overweight but my stomach has carried three babies and even that has toned up remarkably.

You'd be surprised how 'not boring' it's is actually, there's a real feeling of empowerment that comes from lifting weights that surprised me. I also find it much much easier mentally to motivate myself to weight train as opposed to running (or any other exercise!). Running is a simple exercise but can be a real mental battle at times, whereas weight training involves much more complex and varied movements that I find it easy to keep things interesting.

Go for it, the women I know who weight training all love it.

@GetOffTheTableMabel
Body Pump: We all get a bar and a selection of plates weights which you combine to vary your weight. So you can easily start low if you don't have the strength. Like 1.25kg on each end is the minimum. Then you have high energy music and do a move to each song. So we'll do biceps curls or we'll put the bar over our shoulders and do squats. The heart rate goes up, but not as much as with cardio. You do lots of reps so it's not about building bulk.

I like doing a class as it needs less discipline. Get there at x time and just do what you're told.

My classes are a mix of sexes, ages and weights - in both senses!

You've got some great advice.

I just came to say I laughed out loud that you actually asked "Am I being unreasonable to be unreasonably scared....." 😂

I fell in love with weight training about three months ago and am obsessed. It is absolutely the kick to see your fat disappear and to be replaced by hard muscle, and to lift with ease something that not so long ago you struggled with. My stomach suddenly flattened out to pre-baby levels. It's amazing. I do listen to music but I never get bored. I do a combination of a PT and Caroline Girvan on YouTube.p

The thing that scares me about it is getting a thick neck and waist
Not gonna happen. Why would it? Have you ever seen a woman in the gym or on the street with a thick neck and waist from weights? Putting on bulk as a woman is hard. It takes a lot of relentless work and a lot of attention to diet. I thought we'd killed the myth that as a woman if you lift a few 3kg dumbbells you'll suddenly turn into Arnie.

Body Pump is brilliant! It's one of a number of classes designed by Les Mills fitness, so it's the same across all gym. It's a series of routines put to high energy music. Each track works in a different muscle group (squat track, back tracks, biceps and triceps, chest, shoulders, etc)

There's a new release every 12 weeks so you don't get bored of doing the same thing all the time. I'm always buzzing after a class. I love it because it's not cardio and there's no jumping around. Also you don't really need to be that coordinated (I struggle with any dance based classes where you need to have rhythm!)

If you do downward-facing dog in yoga, it won't be too much adjusting to do a push-up. (Probably.)

You’ve reminded me I need to cancel my subscription. For me LM just doesn’t compare with proper weight training.

No-one will be looking at you in the gym, they will be too busy concentrating on themselves.

Do a few sessions with a PT to ensure your form is correct, there’s no point weight training if you’re not doing it properly. They will also teach you how to put a workout together - weight training is about doing a number of repetitions and sets, not picking up and putting something down twenty times.

To get me started, I saw a PT three times a week for three months. Now I see them once a month just to refresh my routine. I lift free weights several times a week and while I like to change my routine around, I always start with deadlifts using a trap bar. Deadlifts work the most muscles and are best done at the beginning of a session when you’re still fresh - I wouldn’t have the energy to do these at the end. Deadlifts will always raise your heart rate. I always follow deadlifts with raised squats, always weighted, sometimes using an olympic bar, other times using dumbbells. I also like to superset as I find this most effective and time efficient - I don’t have an hour to spend in the gym.

Enjoy OP, weight training is great!