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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you dine out alone as a woman?

93 replies

HandbagsnGladrags · 04/05/2022 19:07

I currently am. I'm away on business, on my own. Sat in a restaurant, getting lots of 'looks' from people. Am perfectly happy on my own, reading my book til my food comes. Completely not giving a shit until I get sick of people staring. Also, they tried to show me to the shittest table in the place when there were loads of others free. I mean, I'm not that hideous that I need to be hidden away.

AIBU to think that a woman should be able to dine alone without any shame in 2022?

OP posts:
Chaoslatte · 04/05/2022 19:09

I do loads and I’ve never noticed anyone staring or had any issues of any sort, in the U.K. or abroad. Why would people stare at a woman reading a book?

LondonReturner · 04/05/2022 19:10

I do this all the time, love it, and am unaware of getting any "stares" whatsoever. Perhaps it depends where you are? In major cities it's pretty normal.

PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 19:10

Honestly no I never have and wouldn’t do it.

luxxlisbon · 04/05/2022 19:10

Plenty of women travel for work and eat out alone, or just if they are out and about by themselves.

I think you are imagining these ‘looks’, there is no shame in a woman or man eating alone.

XenoBitch · 04/05/2022 19:10

YANBU, there is nothing wrong with it at all. I have dined alone when out and about.

I hate those lists you see on social media about "confessions of a waitress" and similar where one confession is that they will try and seat single diners near each other and hope they hit it off. No, just no.

Scampi89 · 04/05/2022 19:11

No I do not think there is anything wrong or unusual about dining alone. Are you sure they are staring, or are you being self conscious?
I hope you enjoy your meal and I advise you to continue not giving a 💩!!

squashyhat · 04/05/2022 19:11

I don't eat out alone as a woman. I'm a woman and sometimes eat out alone. No problems with either staff or other customers, ever.

DinosaurOfFire · 04/05/2022 19:11

All the time to be honest- and I don't get looks, or treated the way you describe. The only time it's been commented on was once, when I went to a restaurant where my DH and I usually go together with the kids and we know the owner, who just asked 'wheres DH and kids this evening' and when he found out I was having a night off, told me to make the most of it! I know a lot of women who won't eat out on their own, and also women who, like me, will eat alone.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 04/05/2022 19:12

XenoBitch · 04/05/2022 19:10

YANBU, there is nothing wrong with it at all. I have dined alone when out and about.

I hate those lists you see on social media about "confessions of a waitress" and similar where one confession is that they will try and seat single diners near each other and hope they hit it off. No, just no.

I was more offended by being given a shit table at the back of the restaurant. Maybe I'm being a bit paranoid about the looks. Haven't done this for a while.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 04/05/2022 19:13

Yes, I love reading and eating so like to combined my two favourite things! I think its quite common, last time I did it there were more single diners than groups (though it was at lunch time)

Libertaire · 04/05/2022 19:13

Pre-pandemic, I used to travel quite a bit for work and would often dine out alone. I always took a book or iPad and never felt uncomfortable or had any issues at all. I’m fairly unremarkable, so there’s not much to stare at.

Scampi89 · 04/05/2022 19:13

Ask to be moved if there are other free tables x

ilovesooty · 04/05/2022 19:14

Yes, frequently

runsmidgeOMG · 04/05/2022 19:14

Yeah I would ! Have done it between appointments and bring a magazine with me :)
Enjoy !!!

R00K · 04/05/2022 19:15

I'm currently sat in a beefeater, eating on my own. Nearly every table here is occupied by a single person.

Nobody is staring at anybody.

BangtanLove · 04/05/2022 19:17

I have often dined alone in restaurants amd wouldnt give it a second thought. I think it's unusual to see people dining alone in certain types of restaurants, not sure its necessarily linked to the diner being female or not. Lots of people are uncomfortable doing social things alone and so project those feelings onto others. You may be inspiring future generations to be confident enough to do it themselves!

When I was a teenager I went to a tea shop alone to have a tea and cake and read for a while. My much older cousin came in (with a friend) and spotted me and was SO worried about me being lonely. She insisted on joining me and made a big fuss about how brave I was. Until then it had never occurred to me that people might find it hard to be alone. I was totally bemused by her and she was so puzzled by me. Horses for courses I suppose.

Womencanlift · 04/05/2022 19:18

Used to travel a lot for work and had lots of meals on my own. When you are away lots there is only so much room service you can eat. Also if you are in new cities it is fun to try new places.

Freetodowhatiwant · 04/05/2022 19:18

yeah I love it! I don't do it much in the evening in. my home town but only because I have limited child-free nights so like to see friends at such times but I do often have lunch on my own in my home town and have travelled a lot for work and love going to nice restaurants when I am away! It's a real treat. I can't recall ever having a weird reaction but I can imagine some people might have one. Back in the days before a phone I would probably take a book, even a guide book, but now would probably end up reading my phone but making an effort to put it down and look around and appreciate everything as much as possible.

Krakenchorus · 04/05/2022 19:19

Yes, sometimes. Never had a problem.If you have kids and/or a big family, it's a treat! Me, a good book and food set in front of me to eat in peace. Heaven.

DSGR · 04/05/2022 19:19

I love eating out alone and don’t care what anyone thinks

AlmostThereMaybe · 04/05/2022 19:19

I have done, both in the UK and abroad, but have definitely felt more comfortable in some places than others. Having something to read usually helps!

Pebbles16 · 04/05/2022 19:21

I love eating alone (with my Kindle!). Sometimes I have been shoved in the corner and sometimes not - I don't care because largely no one notices, and I certainly don't

Schmoana · 04/05/2022 19:22

I suspect it’s more “normal” in restaurants that are near hotels. I’ve done it when travelling for business, but wouldn’t dream of going to one of my local restaurants alone. Wish I could but it’s just not done near me.

LikeAStar1994 · 04/05/2022 19:23

I do this all the time but the only restaurant I really go to is Toby Carvery if that's relevant. Nobody there really gives a shit, I've never had any 'looks' and the staff don't even bat an eyelid either.

SpringLobelia · 04/05/2022 19:26

I used to travel extensively (UK and abroad) for work. Never a problem and actually I quite enjoy taking abook into a restaurant and having a glass of wine. Never noticed anyone looking at me except for in Morocco where I had to stick to the hotel restaurant and not go out into the wider community. It's not that unusual, really.