Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you dine out alone as a woman?

93 replies

HandbagsnGladrags · 04/05/2022 19:07

I currently am. I'm away on business, on my own. Sat in a restaurant, getting lots of 'looks' from people. Am perfectly happy on my own, reading my book til my food comes. Completely not giving a shit until I get sick of people staring. Also, they tried to show me to the shittest table in the place when there were loads of others free. I mean, I'm not that hideous that I need to be hidden away.

AIBU to think that a woman should be able to dine alone without any shame in 2022?

OP posts:
TokyoTen · 04/05/2022 20:55

I travel a lot on business on my own and often eat out by myself. I've always felt comfortable with it and haven't felt I was being looked at apart from a couple of Asian countries where maybe it's not so usual - but I haven't felt bad, just that people were a bit curious. Maybe they didn't offer you the worse table because you're on your own - they just offered it to you as they thought you might not want to be in the middle of everything. It's fine to say no and ask for what you would like though.

TangledUp789 · 04/05/2022 21:00

One thing I often have to remind myself as a shy and self conscious person is that strangers really aren't as interested in me as I imagine they are. You're probably not so fascinating and unusual that numerous people in the restaurant are staring at you while you eat. It's more likely that you're looking around the restaurant and they're looking around the restaurant, and you end up making eye contact. Nothing more than that.

I'll eat alone in takeaways and cafes and Wetherspoons quite happily, but I haven't attempted anywhere posher than that. I really don't think the fact I'm a woman is relevant thought, it's that I'm, like I say, shy and self conscious. I'm sure there's plenty of shy and socially awkward men out there who wouldn't eat out alone either.

HiJenny35 · 04/05/2022 21:00

Yes this isn't a thing, I eat out alone all the time and people don't look, they literally couldn't care less, it could be that you're staring due to being uncomfortable so people are looking back.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 04/05/2022 21:02

I prefer listening to podcasts to trying to read books when dining alone, but that's more because I like the idea of freaking people out when I suddenly laugh 🤭

Floydthebarber · 04/05/2022 21:04

I do, have done for years and love it. I never have for dinner though but have never needed to. A nice meal and a glass of wine alone in the evening with no washing up and dcs bedtimes sounds bliss!

If you think someone is staring at you, then you think everyone is, it's a vicious cycle of paranoia!

IcedPurple · 04/05/2022 21:04

One thing I often have to remind myself as a shy and self conscious person is that strangers really aren't as interested in me as I imagine they are. You're probably not so fascinating and unusual that numerous people in the restaurant are staring at you while you eat.

Whenever I'm feeling self conscious I remind myself of a little saying. "If you ever find yourself worrying about what people think of you, remind yourself that they probably don't."

Pinklimey · 04/05/2022 21:26

If you DO want to be stared at, I recommend sitting reading the FT while eating. Everyone knows what you are reading.😂

VestaTilley · 04/05/2022 21:59

YANBU. I’ve done this a lot and enjoy it!

PurpleDaisies · 04/05/2022 22:01

Yes and I’ve never had a problem.

Hurstlandshome · 04/05/2022 22:15

It's 2022, literally nobody would give this a second thought...unless maybe it was Valentine's night in a fancy restaurant and you rocked up solo with your book.

TheAbbotOfUnreason · 04/05/2022 22:17

Had to eat out alone many times whilst working away across the UK in my youth - maybe people did look but I didn’t really notice. Usually took a magazine or a book along and enjoyed some down time. Curry houses were my favourite places.

I have a high flying friend that travelled the world and always took room service meals in her hotel room - I think she was in her 40s before venturing out to a restaurant on her own. What a waste.

AChocolateOrangeaday · 04/05/2022 22:19

Yes frequently and have never noticed stares or been given a shit table.

I tell them where I want to sit.

MyJobisNotOuting · 04/05/2022 22:20

All the time (at least once a week). never had an issue or comment.

TeaBug · 04/05/2022 22:34

I eat out alone regularly when I get a night off during the week and dh is away. Also travel to support relatives and eat out alone in the evenings. So once a month at least. Nobody turns a hair. I've been doing it for decades so I'm entirely comfortable with it, maybe I exude confidence and don't attract attention by looking shifty:)

ExMachinaDeus · 04/05/2022 22:42

I've been steered towards the shittest tables on occasion, but I always say brightly "Oh that table by the window looks nice. I'll go there if that's OK"

And I have once or twice refused to pay a service fee/tip because I've been consistently overlooked by serving staff eg people in groups who arrive after me who have their order taken before me or have meals served considerably before me (for no gastronomic/cooking reason). I have told the maitre d' why on those occasions. But it's only been a couple of times I've had to do that.

I tend not to even bother with a book. I just look about me and enjoy people-watching.

Longdistance · 04/05/2022 22:51

I have done. Away with work and gone out to dinner on my own no one batted an eyelid.
Here in the Uk with work trips, again no one batted an eyelid.
The woman’s got to eat! I usually have a glass of vino to wash it down with too.

Longdistance · 04/05/2022 22:52

That should say ‘gone out in Europe’.

doadeer · 04/05/2022 22:54

I have lots for work. And I do lunch a lot by myself.

I'm not bothered at all in my own company. And not embarrassed.

Though I did often get approached by men who wanted to talk to me.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page