Almost £70 for a day out, not sure whether to go

[Cheeseontoast32]

It's a baby shower next Saturday. £20 each towards room hire. Then suggested we put in £25 each for a present, I said I could only put in £15 though as thought £45 was ridiculous. Most others sent £25 there and then via transfer like it was 5 pence. Only one other sent less.
It's roughly £10 return train. It's in a village and my fault for not Looking at trains/buses there.
There's essentially a train every 4 hours there. Basically means either having to get there a couple of hours early or stay for 4 hours, which I'm not intending to do.
Either way, a taxi from the nearest station is £10-13 each way apparently.
Could be looking at £30 just on transport all in all.
Plus the £35 I've spent on the shower.
Really not sure what to do, feel like i have no choice now but to just pay it. Nobody else lives up my way so can't really give me a lift.

So grabby

I would pass as I’m not keen on baby showers. Although I would visit baby and send a lovely gift and really thoughtful card with lovely words

I agree it’s ridiculous room hire charging. When I’ve been to baby showers happy to pay for food and getting there but I usually buy a gift when the baby is born . It’s not compulsory to buy a gift and is there no way you can ask someone for a lift ? .
I remember one baby shower I went to we all paid for afternoon tea in advance and there was plenty of food left and it was all boxed up and given to the pregnant mum, who took home for her family even though we all paid for the food . I just laughed at the cheek .
I honestly wouldn’t pay it , a nice afternoon tea is one thing but room hire and gifts no .

But I thought the whole point of a baby shower was the gifts? Otherwise why do people have them?

Room hire!? "Hi, I'm having a party, pay for it!" Just say you can't make it. Yes you'll be down £20 but that's better than being £70 down with a load of travelling and waiting around.

Baby showers are horribly tacky so no I wouldn’t be going

Can you spend less and travel to someones house who then can give you a lift there? Same on the way back. May cut costs down a bit.

So the £20 includes venue hire and food

you will have to tell us what food later

cheeky to ask for money towards both imo

the host /family pays

and cheeky to ask for a set amount towards pressie

wjat happened for buying stuff. Babygros nappies wipes bibs etx

what will mum to be buy with the money

I honestly wouldn't go

I was invited to a shower once. The cost was £50 to attend. Then gift

I made an excuse. Visited once baby was born instead

I would say you’re ill or been in contact with someone who has COVID.

Agree. 😊

Very rude to ask guests to pay for room hire.
If you haven't sent the money for the gift yet can you just buy her something within your own budget and not contribute to the group gift.

NO!
YANBU
Just stay home!!
That's Too Too much Money!!!

Asking people to pay for room hire is not on. Either you fund it or scale back the event. Just decline with a goodwill message and donate what you have already paid as your gift.

Just to put the £25 gift into perspective: that’s what I have spent on all my daughters’s cloths for 6 months, i.e. 2 sizes. I get nearly everything second had. Does she want the money to dress her child until it goes to school?

The only advantage of a baby shower is that she will receive the gift before the baby is born. I had many visitors who arrived with a garment that barely fitted by the time they made it. I also ended up with far too many clothes for 0-3 months, only 2 people had the idea to buy a bigger size of which one got the season wrong.

It's gone a bit mad hasn't it? When my daughter had her first baby...now 9...her friend did a baby shower for her,at her mum's house.Just a nice tea party with wine for those who could have it, and silly games. It was nice,people brought gifts( not large but very much appreciated)

You could at least ask someone to collect you from the train station. That would save you quite a bit. If you put it on the group chat someone might volunteer.

Bloody ridiculous all these super expensive hen trips, baby showers, birthday parties. Christ. Someone offered to do a baby shower when I was pregnant with my youngest but I declined. Instead they came to see him when he had been born like normal people. And their gift and card was appreciated and probably cost them £5-£15. Then had them over for a get together with some wine.

Dont want some naff chocolate in a nappy in an expensive venue.

I refuse to go to any event if the word shower is mentioned on the invite! Stupid Americanised nonsense! Snce when has a baby shower been a big lifetime event? 😂 Somehow I've managed to retain my friendships despite not buying into all that crap!

This is totally ridiculous. Too much American type influence here. Wait till baby arrives and is born then celebrate with gifts or however YOU want to acknowledge the birth. That’s the tried and tested tradition here. There’s good reason to wait till baby arrives. I’m not wanting our traditions contaminated by such events.

Is this the norm? Every baby shower I’ve attended has been paid for by mum to be or maybe her parents. The only thing required was a gift.

Room hire? Are they taking the piss??

I’ve only ever been to a couple of baby showers over the years. Both were thrown at home (organised by other friend or a parent) and they laid on food and drinks for guests.
Nobody was given a present budget either.

I would’ve declined the invite as soon as they asked me to pay for the room hire!! Old friend or not!

I'd be suddenly feeling covid symptoms

Baby showers 🤢🤮

Lots of people have them as a last get together before the madness of a new baby. My friends and I had baby showers, there are six of us and we rotated having them at each other’s houses and each of us did balloons/ cake / games. It never cost us more that about £30 each. I loved my baby shower because it was a lovely girlie day with my closest friends. It’s not always about gifts.