Almost £70 for a day out, not sure whether to go

[Cheeseontoast32]

It's a baby shower next Saturday. £20 each towards room hire. Then suggested we put in £25 each for a present, I said I could only put in £15 though as thought £45 was ridiculous. Most others sent £25 there and then via transfer like it was 5 pence. Only one other sent less.
It's roughly £10 return train. It's in a village and my fault for not Looking at trains/buses there.
There's essentially a train every 4 hours there. Basically means either having to get there a couple of hours early or stay for 4 hours, which I'm not intending to do.
Either way, a taxi from the nearest station is £10-13 each way apparently.
Could be looking at £30 just on transport all in all.
Plus the £35 I've spent on the shower.
Really not sure what to do, feel like i have no choice now but to just pay it. Nobody else lives up my way so can't really give me a lift.

This is such a con, the host should pay for the room hire/food/decorations etc.

Baby showers seem to be getting grabbier.

Don't go, it will be cheaper. Send her a card and tell her that you hope she enjoys her day and you'll see her when the little one arrives.

They charged you for room hire! Wtf

what's wrong with meeting in a friendly coffee shop or someone's house, like everyone else does?

Omg that’s the craziest thing I’ve heard 🙈 I hate baby showers . Why has everyone gone so mad … I’ve never heard of inviting people and then charging them . Kids parties next …. Honestly

I appreciate you have spent money already which is sunk as it were. I think you should politely decline and not go.

Politely decline any you are invited to in future. Baby showers should be consigned to history.

Not a single friend or relative has had a baby shower. But maybe in some friendship circles this is common, I've no idea. I certainly wouldn't expect to pay towards room hire anyway.

It’s simple really. You only have to ask yourself two questions:

1. do I want to go, and
2. can I afford to go.

if the answer to either is no, then don’t go!

Not sure when baby showers became a thing? Didn't have one for either of mine and actually not keen on the idea at all, kind of tempting fate before baby is here safely. Same as gender reveal, can't stand it!

It was much easier when my children were little. You had a few friends round for coffee or wine and cake, everyone admired the baby, most gave a small gift then they went home. If a friend couldn’t make it, it was no big deal. Expectations have got way out of hand these days.

All I can say is I'm glad that my kids are now adults and when they were on their way none of this ridiculous nonsense existed.

Baby showers? Just really daft IMO.
Another import from the US causing everyone stress.

Maybe if people just don't play the game, they will disappear.

Can't believe people charge people to hold a party (essentially) that they want. I think people really do think they are some sort of royalty these days. Honestly, I wouldn't even attend, nor pay towards any event where I was asked to pay towards the cost of the room hire. Ridiculous. Its seems a shame to lose out on your money that I suspect will be the organisers profit.

I would just cut your losses financially there @Cheeseontoast32 . Say you can't make it and send a card or something too.

Arrange to see the woman another tiime in a more affordable way.

I’d be mortified if my friends or relatives were organising this for me. People have lost the run of themselves.

so are people supposed to give gifts when the baby arrives AS WELL?

The whole thing is madness.

It's just a present-grabbing, attention-seeking farce.

I'm too old for this now but I hope the younger generations will just stop.

Please stop.

Buy a gift for the baby and / or mum when it arrives.

@CulturePigeon nails this neatly, also the decision making matrix @Minfilia.

Write off any money you cannot reasonably get back & make your apologies well in advance.

if she is a close friend, meet her & baby another time.
BTW baby doesn’t give a toss about this event.

Fucking HATE baby showers.

It sounds to me that you have Covid. I would suggest you do not attend.

It's too much. I's make an excuse.

It's too much. I'd make an excuse.

I'm so glad I've never been invited to a baby shower. Room hire?? I suppose you could always say you're not contributing to the communal gift and will get something of your own but £30 travel costs for something you're not even planning to stay at for 4 hours sounds a bit of a kicker.

Crikey. That’s a dear do. I guess it depends on how close you are to the mum to be, as others have said. I do think asking everyone to chip into the room hire is a bit cheeky to be honest.

As an aside, my niece is pregnant and is planning a baby shower. She’s having guests at her house for tea and cakes, and is asking everyone to bring a copy of their favourite childhood book for the baby. I’m
not normally a baby shower fan but I thought that was lovely 😊

Ridiculous don't attend!

Can someone pick you up from your house or the station?

Just decline. Charging people for room hire is so rude.

Honestly why would you? What's in it for you?