To not find this relentless sexual harassment funny in the slightest

[Alysskea]

I have a feeling I'm going to get a roasting for this but I'm feeling pissed off to be quite honest.

Im in a holiday at the moment in a hot country, Europe, and went all inclusive as it saves money in the long run.

For context I am 27, married, gay as the day is long. I've never flirted in my actual life.

So thing is every time I go to the bar to ask for a f-ing glass of water I have to subject myself to at least 5 minutes of sexual harassment. 'Hello sexy, how are you'. 'Why just water, don't you want a sex on the beach?'. Constant jibes, all of them about my body. Countless jokes about getting me drunk (again, I wanted WATER given it's 28 degrees outside).

I'm just so cranky, my head is pounding from dehydration but I have trauma in my past and I literally can't cope with this. How does everyone else manage it, or even think it's funny? Is it just me?

I would report the member of staff to the hotel manager or rep if you have one?

A bar man in our hotel in Turkey tried it on with me while DP was literally next to me looking the other way. Wish I’d of said something but didn’t want to make a fuss.

I was about to say is it Turkey?

I'd probably go with a long cold stare and refuse to engage. If you get harassed because of this I'd say that you don't appreciate the comments they are making, that you don't want conversation and all you want is a glass of water, if they carry on say you'll be making it clear to the management that their staff are sexually harassing guests. I'm assuming it's the bar staff, if it's another guest, again cold stare and ignore, if they repeat tell them to fuck off.
Sorry you're having to endure this childish behaviour when all you want is a drink.

Eygpt was vile for this.
I guess one in a hundred times it works.

As others have said, speak to a manager & give them a frank & honest review of the harassment & how it was handled on trip advisor on your return home.

Sorry it's spoiling your trip 😔

Unfortunately there are a number of countries where this seems to still be the norm. Not sure any woman actually likes it! I certainly don't. Do you have a U.K. rep there? I'm not sure I'd complain to the hotel staff as I would assume (possibly wrongly) that they would think I was making a fuss about what to them may be "normal" behaviour. Similar to the response had you complained about such behaviour in the Ik in the 70s or 80s. That's not to say you shouldn't complain but if you have a U.K. rep they might be more understanding about your concerns.

A lot of British men do also behave like that, so not endemic to mainland Europe.

And yanbu. Speak to management about the inappropriateness, ignore as far as possible with a blank expression and only exchange one/two words only if it's essential communication.

Yanbu and if it is Turkey you have my sympathy. I was there when I was only 15 and was not left alone it was disgusting. Unfortunately my mother was proud as punch that all the men wanted me so I had no one to tell them to fuck off.

I’m not sure why you would be roasted- it’s horrible! And not one bit funny

But would this happen in Moslem country (Turkey, Egypt) during Ramadan which just ended last Sunday (1.4.22)?

If it is turkey, tell them 'siktir git' it means fuck off - sometimes telling them in their own language helps!

Although admittedly you shouldn't have to, they should bloody well not do it at all. But I say this as someone who was engaged to a Turkish man - I promise you they're not all like that!

It's unacceptable. I'm just jealous that you are somewhere hot. It is chilly here.

Not sure if you're struggling to read but OP is on holiday.

Ramadan is finished.

Why are you questioning her?

There are countless stories of this kind of disgusting sexual harassment in those countries day in day out. Ramadan has nothing to do with it.

Disgusting behaviour. Demand the hotel manager, tell them exactly what has happened. If there’s a tour rep get them into it to. Name and shame the hotel staff online. You don’t pay to be a hotel guest and be treated like this.

I had this in Egypt. Relentless harassment. On the street, on buses, at the valley of the Kings by the police. I could go on. Reporting it was pointless.
Lesson learned, never again will I go to a country where women are second class citizens (officially)
So it's shit but there's no solution except staying in your room. And don't go back to that country again.

This makes no sense at all.

Do you think sex pests give up pestering women because it's Ramadan?

Absolutely do not say “siktir git” to anyone whilst in Turkey unless you want to be murdered.

In many countries where this type of behaviour might be common, a threat of the police or indeed speaking to the police can be very effective, as long as you know that depending on the gravity of the harassment the perpetrator might find himself dragged into an alley and worked over.

Palmfrond are you joking?! 😂 literally everyone says this in turkey - I must have heard it at least 25 times a day in the 4.5 years I spent there.

If the OP didn't feel comfortable saying it, that's fine and understandable, it's just advice and what I and every single one of the people I know (English, German and even Turkish) would have done in that situation

OP specified tat she was in Europe, which I believe has only two majority Moslem countries.

Maybe it’s okay to say at a holiday resort, but anywhere else in Turkey using profanity towards a stranger is very grave indeed.

Lol ok, we will have to agree to disagree.

For what it's worth - I did not live in a touristy area (although we did holiday in them) we lived in a much more devout area and it was still commonplace if men were harassing women.

But as I said, agree to disagree. Sorry for derailing your thread OP, I hope these idiots leave you alone!

I had the same in Egypt during Ramadan a few years ago. The only place I’ve been relentlessly hassled.

Had similar in Egypt though ok in resort. Nightmare out the resort. Spoiled the holiday as I felt trapped in the resort which isn’t my ideal holiday

@Palmfrond what has that got to do with what I said? I obviously was replying to another poster referencing turkey and Egypt. Regardless my comment still stands true. Along with everyone else you've attempted to argue with about it.

The worst place I ever went to for this was Turkey. Literally had men follow me through the streets, back to the hotel and wherever we went. It was gross. In the end, saying NO didnt work so I had to shout at them to fck off. Thats not my normal go to response but what do you do when they dont listen to no?

I asked the hotel manager why there were no Turkish women about anywhere (only men) and he said those guys were likely married whilst their wives were at home looking after their kids and doing the housework. GRIM.