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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be nervous about explaining my daughters injury.

62 replies

Elephant193 · 03/05/2022 08:23

I'm a regular poster and have been here for years but NC for the purpose of this post. I feel a bit silly, but I have anxiety and we all know how irrational that can be.

My just turned 3 year old DD wanted to sleep in her happy napper sleeping bag last night, she got it for her birthday and has been obsessed with them for months.

I put her inside it and zipped it up but as she's a tiny little thing she was too low down so i lifted her up by her wrists to bring her out of the bag a bit. Big mistake.

Long story short I've hurt her wrist in the process 😞

I'm certain it's not broken and there's no swelling but she says it hurts to touch so may well be sprained. I'm going to have to have it checked out today regardless so have told nursery she won't be in and why, I just can't shake the fear that somebody is going to think I've deliberately tried to hurt her and make a referral to social services on the grounds that I've told them it's my fault?

Am I being irrational? Am I going to get into trouble?

OP posts:
TheseAreMyGoodPants · 03/05/2022 08:26

I can understand why you're worried, but I don't think you SHOULD be if that makes sense. Accidents happen and those kinds of injuries (sprains, dislocations ect from being pulled or picked up by the arms) are quite common in young children. The doctor/hospital will have definitely seen it before!

Hope your DD feels better soon ❤️

Marvellousmadness · 03/05/2022 08:26

O come on
She is ok
Just melodramatic.

She is 3. Time to skip the sleeping bags in get a doona
You did nothing wrong
I wouldnt give it any more mental time

Thehop · 03/05/2022 08:28

I once broke my daughters fall grabbing her wrist and dislocated her elbow. Was worried sick but A&E very kind and said it happened all the time.

kust tell the truth, it’s more common than you think.

Bunce1 · 03/05/2022 08:30

You’re not gonna to get into trouble for being honest about it.

sorry you’re feeling so axioms about it but the best thing to do is to be truthful.

GlumyGloomer · 03/05/2022 08:31

Just be honest. My dad sprained my wrist as a kid lifting me by the hands. It happens.

Original poster
Elephant193 · 03/05/2022 08:34

DH did wonder whether she was over egging it a bit this morning to stay home from nursery, it's hard to tell because whilst there's nothing visibly wrong with the wrist she was adamant she's in alot of pain.

It's the nature of the world today isn't it, perfectly normal loving parents will always have that worry that they're going to get into trouble for something innocent.

OP posts:
TheWristBoundLatexBitch · 03/05/2022 08:35

Thehop · 03/05/2022 08:28

I once broke my daughters fall grabbing her wrist and dislocated her elbow. Was worried sick but A&E very kind and said it happened all the time.

kust tell the truth, it’s more common than you think.

I done the same, but to stop my then 2 year old trying to run off. He was fine once it was put back (also got told they see it all the time and it's very common), was in and out of a&e in less than 20 minutes. He's 10 now and I'll never forget that day!

Original poster
Elephant193 · 03/05/2022 08:36

Thehop · 03/05/2022 08:28

I once broke my daughters fall grabbing her wrist and dislocated her elbow. Was worried sick but A&E very kind and said it happened all the time.

kust tell the truth, it’s more common than you think.

That makes me feel alot better thank you!

OP posts:
gothsnotmoths · 03/05/2022 08:38

My mum dislocated my elbow as a child whilst grabbing my arm to stop me falling off a little wall. No one thought anything of it.

WimpoleHat · 03/05/2022 08:38

I think when kids are old enough, the doctor will ask the child herself what happened. You will tell the doctors that you pulled
her up out of the sleeping bag - and she will
tell them the same thing. No issue; accidents happen. It’s if you try to lie/cover up that alarm bells sound.

Original poster
Elephant193 · 03/05/2022 08:39

I've just taken the plaster off it (the plaster she insisted she wanted as she does whenever she hurts something) and apparently it's fine now.

Bloody hell. If she'd have said this an hour ago she'd have been sent into nursery and I wouldn't have sent that awkward "DD won't be in today as she's hurt her wrist" text..

OP posts:
Bigboysmademedoit · 03/05/2022 08:43

My son dislocated his elbow at around that age. Went to A&E and he clung onto my hand with his ‘good’ hand. They offered him a lolly and he instinctively reached out with his other hand and in doing so put the dislocation back in place!

Original poster
Elephant193 · 03/05/2022 08:44

Would you still get it checked out even though she says it's fine now? I feel like I should because I've already told nursery and they might follow up with me about it

OP posts:
Original poster
Elephant193 · 03/05/2022 08:45

Bigboysmademedoit · 03/05/2022 08:43

My son dislocated his elbow at around that age. Went to A&E and he clung onto my hand with his ‘good’ hand. They offered him a lolly and he instinctively reached out with his other hand and in doing so put the dislocation back in place!

That's quite brilliant 😄

OP posts:
Original poster
Elephant193 · 03/05/2022 08:53

"Mummy lifted it and twisted it" is what she just relayed to DS, that makes it sound even worse 😐

OP posts:
UpdateStoleMyProfile · 03/05/2022 08:56

Nah just ring nursery, say she’s feeling fine now and you’ll be dropping her back off.

this is utterly normal! They’ll be fine.

VincaBlue · 03/05/2022 08:56

No, I'd just say she says it doesn't hurt any more so we didn't go

AngelinaFibres · 03/05/2022 08:59

Elephant193 · 03/05/2022 08:36

That makes me feel alot better thank you!

Show quote history

My father was swinging me on a tree swing in our garden when I was 8ish. He had forgotten we had a new barbed wire fence. I swung into it and cut my arm open in a beautiful line from elbow to wrist. I'm 57 now and still have the scar. Had butterfly strips on the deepest parts. He was mortified. It was an accident. Accidents happen

Original poster
Elephant193 · 03/05/2022 09:00

I cant really get her there now as I have a dentist appointment in 45 minutes and it takes that to walk there.

I have 2 kids in the same nursery and they go via a nursery bus, my other DC went on the bus and she stayed home.

I'll take her with me when I do pick up later on so the nursery can she she's totally fine.

Gosh aren't children dramatic.

OP posts:
givemushypeasachance · 03/05/2022 09:08

Childcare workers, teachers etc have seen hundreds of kids with accidental injuries. If social services were informed every time a child turned up with a sore wrist or a black eye or something from playing in the park, rough housing with siblings, being swung playfully by the arms or so on then social workers would be completely overwhelmed.

What does raise red flags are particularly types of injury, or patterns of injury, or behaviours. So things like injuries to non-mobile babies, or an injury that doesn't align with the explanation the parent gives, or the same child comes back after the weekend when there's contact with a step parent and every Monday there's something new that happened 'by accident', or a child seems generally neglected, clothes are dirty, hasn't been washed, never has a coat or a change of clothes with them, and has suspicious seeming injuries.

Original poster
Elephant193 · 03/05/2022 09:13

Thanks for the reassurance all. I think subconsciously I knew I had nothing to worry about but just needed to hear it from somebody else. There has been so many stories of child abuse in the media lately I worried that professionals would be gung ho about anything connected back to a parent.

OP posts:
DD7Superstar · 03/05/2022 09:16

My dad when I was younger was swinging my then 4 year old cousin along with his brother, like kids love with one adult either side on an arm as they were walking. Cousin's arm popped out. My dad was devastated but these things do happen and hospitals know that. It was just an isolated accident. Be kind to yourself.

Triffid1 · 03/05/2022 09:17

Bigboysmademedoit · 03/05/2022 08:43

My son dislocated his elbow at around that age. Went to A&E and he clung onto my hand with his ‘good’ hand. They offered him a lolly and he instinctively reached out with his other hand and in doing so put the dislocation back in place!

V similar here. Except in our case, it was dislocated (as it turned out, as a result of a twirling game we'd been playing) and it was popped back into place while the triage nurse was examining it. We were mortified, expected social services to be called and were told it's quite common but perhaps NOT to swing DS by his wrists in circles any more....

Triffid1 · 03/05/2022 09:17

Elephant193 · 03/05/2022 09:13

Thanks for the reassurance all. I think subconsciously I knew I had nothing to worry about but just needed to hear it from somebody else. There has been so many stories of child abuse in the media lately I worried that professionals would be gung ho about anything connected back to a parent.

The sense I got from A&E in our situation was that an incident of this sort is quite normal and natural. But if it was to happen multiple times, they'd be concerned.

IsabelHerna · 03/05/2022 09:18

I can understand why you're feeling like this, I suffer from anxiety and I can see my mind going there too. Try to explain what happened, and they will understand.