To be nervous about explaining my daughters injury.

[Elephant193]

I'm a regular poster and have been here for years but NC for the purpose of this post. I feel a bit silly, but I have anxiety and we all know how irrational that can be.

My just turned 3 year old DD wanted to sleep in her happy napper sleeping bag last night, she got it for her birthday and has been obsessed with them for months.

I put her inside it and zipped it up but as she's a tiny little thing she was too low down so i lifted her up by her wrists to bring her out of the bag a bit. Big mistake.

Long story short I've hurt her wrist in the process 😞

I'm certain it's not broken and there's no swelling but she says it hurts to touch so may well be sprained. I'm going to have to have it checked out today regardless so have told nursery she won't be in and why, I just can't shake the fear that somebody is going to think I've deliberately tried to hurt her and make a referral to social services on the grounds that I've told them it's my fault?

Am I being irrational? Am I going to get into trouble?

I think they're v good at telling the difference. I've never had any sort of issues when taking DS to A&E (we've had a couple of reasons to over the years). But interestingly, SIL and BIL did get quizzed a bit on their ONE trip. But the truth is that while BIL is not physically abusive, the way he behaves and the things he says/does means that DH and I weren't surprised that they got a much more intensive grilling than we ever have.

We had to take DS to nursery with a black eye recently, he was messing around getting ready to go out the day before, swung his trainer up in the air by the laces and hit himself in the face with it, not only does that sound entirely implausible but he'd gone in a few weeks before with a face injury because on the way to nursery he'd run along the hall tripped on his own feet went flying through the open front door and face planted.
There was also the time where I'd had a couple of days off work over Christmas and had to go back with a black eye because DS had been sitting on my lap watching a film, something funny happened and he laughed and suddenly threw his head back with force and headbutted me square across the bridge of my nose.
If this is a one off and they can see you not only feel terrible but you've taken him to get checked out, it'll be fine. It would be much worse to not get it looked at for fear of what they might think.

My DS2 had ligament damage in his arm at about that age - long story short he didn't want to walk somewhere so I was holding onto his hand to stop him running off and he dropped himself to the ground, as I was still holding on he pulled his arm badly. He was screaming in pain but I was sure he hadn't broken it as I think I would have heard it.

I took him to the hospital to get checked out - I told them the truth of what happened and they couldn't have been nicer (even though I felt terrible). I couldn't understand how he was in so much pain - they said ligament damage can be as painful as a break - within a few days he was right as rain

I've just taken the plaster off it (the plaster she insisted she wanted as she does whenever she hurts something) and apparently it's fine now.

She is totally playing you! And you've fallen for it. Good luck with the school years if she's doing this at nursery age...

Gosh aren't children dramatic.

And some adults. As long as you're honest they deal with stuff like this all of the time. Despite what the media might have people believe children aren't taken away from their parents for injuries like this.

When I was that age, my older sister pushed me down the stairs. Luckily my Dad was there and he grabbed my arm to save me. Dislocating my shoulder.

when we got to hospital, the doctor asked what happened, and I piped up “Daddy did it!”

Hospitals are more concerned with parents who don't get their children's injuries seen to. Take her to be seen ffs.

You sound paranoid I can't say I'd be concerned at all if the same thing happened to me. Why would you still go and have it looked at if she says it doesn't hurt now? You'll be adding to the already long queue when there is nothing wrong with your child. Unless there's some huge back story you haven't shared I wouldn't have given it a second thought. I'd have just said to nursery at drop-off that she'd done it at home and explain how and say something like if she's not using her arm give me a ring and I'll go have it checked. I was forever explaining bruises etc at drop-off when mine were in nursery.

I get it OP. But honestly it seemed to be always something with my DS!

He once ran into a cabinet and cut his head so badly we were both covered in blood! He would fall of stuff, get stuck, all sorts. I used to say when he got older that he had to be careful because I didn't want to visit the ER once during the holidays!

It was an accident. Be kind to yourself.

Two of my 3 dcs (both the boys, not the girl for some reason) used to get these dislocations, called "pulls". With the eldest we didn't even realise as he was a baby, would just stop using his arm and then be better after a day or so - so it fixed itself and we never realised what it was! With my youngest I actually felt the click once as he pulled away from me hard, holding my hand. He had this twice and both times it needed popping back.
It's actually easier if you know exactly what happened, helps a&e sort it out quicker as there are fewer unknowns!
I think its called nursemaid 's elbow sometimes. It's very common, don't feel bad.
I always wince now when I see people swinging small kids by their arms.....

Theres a thread back in the mists of time here somewhere where we all recount the time we threw our child in the air only for them to hit something low that we hadnt noticed.
I can tell you it made me feel better about the time years before that I was throwing my child up in the air whilst walking through a doorway. And the poor child then had a line/dent across the forehead for months.
I too had to recount this in a and e. And shortly after had to take a different child to a and e for a different reason.
Glad I no longer have small children.

No back story with me and my family at all no, we've only ever had one incident that required urgent attention and that was with our autistic DS.

He put some hand sanitiser on his hands on the way into tesco and decided to rub his eyes afterwards, cue two very red and sore eyes lots of tears and saying his sight was bluery. I panicked about that for the same reason, I thought I'd be seen as negligent - somebody would report us - worry worry worry.

The problem is me and my anxiety.

I was worried about school's reaction to my 4 yo with a small burn on her arm as i had heard burns injuries are always a red flag. i took her to minor injurues even though there was no need, just because i didnt want it to look as tbough i was civering anything up.The injury was consustent with the explanation ( oven glive slipped removing baking from oven) I think the issue is where the injury is unusual for the explanation, or an immobile baby is involved

Thank you all I do feel so much better about it now. I've been well and truly played by DD who is crawling around the floor on the supposedly terribly hurt wrist telling me she's a lion 😑

Glad she's feeling better.

We had to take DD3 to A&E recently after DH was swinging her round by her arms - she suddenly started screaming and was obviously in a lot of pain. She was seeming a bit better by the time we got there, but DH still took her in - I had to wait outside with the baby. He carried her her up to the reception and she lifted her head off his shoulder and said to the receptionist "My daddy was naughty and he hurt me". She repeated this to everyone they saw, poor DH had never been so embarrassed.

They said they thought her elbow had been dislocated but had popped back in, probably by is getting her in the car seat. Apparently it's really common with children of that age, they even had a special leaflet about it. Perhaps something similar happend to your DD and that's why she's feeling better now?

No one seemed too worried that DH had accidentally caused it, and we've had no follow up - I think as PP have said, as long as stories seem reasonable and there's no pattern of injuries nothing further is done.

Pulled elbow is really common in young children

DH fell down the stairs carrying our (then) 2 yr old, hurting her leg. After our A&E visit we did get a phone call from the health visitor to check she was ok, but that’s it. Honestly, I think it is good that they do (proportionate) checks on kids with slightly unusual injuries.

DD1 once dislocated DD2’s elbow while helping her up from the floor, don’t think we got a call after that one but reading this thread it is probably because it is so common in young kids!

Years ago, my ex left the kids alone while he went to run a bath. Age 3 and 6 months. Still can't be 100% what happened, but the 6 month old ended up with a dislocated elbow. It was suspected 3yo tried to lift 6mo by her arm.
We never even had a call from the HV, never mind SS, despite not having a clear explanation being a red flag.

At age 2, same youngest child dislocated a toe, yes a toe, by... jumping on the spot. Again, no follow up.

We've since established she has a hypermobility syndrome.

My son snapped his wrist clean in half- looked like he had two wrists.
He’d fallen over the handlebars of his bike
Casualty didn’t worry at all.
Nor when he was scalded as a toddler by grabbing a cup of hot coffee where he’d not reached before.
Accidents happen, As long as you are honest, there is nothing to worry about.

In cases of genuine abuse, there are sometimes old healed fractures where the poor child hasn’t been taken to Casualty.

Staff ate probably wise and experienced enough to know if an injury is caused accidentally or from rough handling/ abuse.

@Bloatstoat I cringe whenever I see people swinging their young kids, from DD’s experience I know that a pulled elbow is excruciating and easily done.

Some kids are apparently more prone to it (DD had a second one a few years later when DH caught her to stop her falling), but they do eventually grow out of it once their bones grow.

@SlipperyLizard he'd done it lots with DS who apparently wasn't prone to it, but never again! I know what you mean, I have to restrain myself from telling people not to do it when I see it now 😂

Completely understand your feelings.
My dd collided with another child at soft play once so I kept her off the next week until the nasty bruise on her face had gone.
I know it's probably an over reaction but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

There was a period where it felt like my DS was constantly going to a&e. One of those times was because I dropped him after slipping on the stairs. He fell over and split his forehead over twice and had to have it glued. The staff might ask your DC how they hurt themselves, ask for a top to be removed to take their blood pressure and you might get some follow up from your health visitor but as long as you are honest I don't think you have much to worry about.

One of my son’s was so accident prone ( later diagnosed with ADHD so very impulsive and had no fear) we were forever at children’s A and E, in fact where I work moved to the hospital site and my colleagues all said that’ll be handy for Carrotmum. We knew most of the staff by name, I used to dread having to take him in case they called SS ( I work for SW) the only thing that saved us was that he would have accidents at school, activities and grandparents as well so it was obvious we weren’t hurting him and our explanations always matched the injury. He’s still accident prone as an adult.

My dad and I managed to dislocate my DD's elbow by giving her a 'swing' (where you each hold one hand and swing her between you as you walk along). She was three and used to love doing it and we were mortified - had no idea it was possible to do that. Hospital staff were very casual and kind and popped it straight back in. They said it is very common. Obviously we never swung her again!