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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel fuming at neighbour

80 replies

Exhausted45 · 02/05/2022 15:38

We have lived in the same street for 8 years and always gotten along fine with neighbours on both sides.
Recently one of the neighbours has had her adult son come to live with her and there has been more noise later at night than normal. We've ignored this as it's not that disruptive and we dont want to fall out.
Yesterday was neighbours birthday and a hot tub turned up in the back garden. She told us it was for a party so we were forewarned it may be a little noisy.
We were woken at 1am with a load of noise directly under our bedroom window. The neighour had moved the hot tub/lazy spa so all we could hear was a load of drunken swearing and shouting .
This carried on until 4am! I'm fuming as so tired and we have a young DC.
Am I right to go and say something? As I really dont want a repeat of this.

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 02/05/2022 16:44

Certainly they have been inconsiderate, but I'd just get on with selling the house.

I confess to finding it weird how grown men could find great fun and excitement sitting in a tub of water til 4.00 am.

L0stinCyberspace · 02/05/2022 17:10

You sound a bit uptight about it. Occasional parties are to be expected; there's a reason earplugs were invented! If it was 4am every weekend I'd agree it's an issue worth mentioning.

beachcitygirl · 02/05/2022 17:15

Yabu

HandlebarLadyTash · 02/05/2022 17:19

As a one off I would be OK, if it turns into weekly I would be pissed off.

Youcansaythatagainandagain · 02/05/2022 17:19

Exhausted45 · 02/05/2022 15:55

@CulturePigeon also despairing over hot tub ,especially since we are trying to sell our house in a few months.

Did she buy it or rent one for a few days.
They cost quite a bit to run so hopefully it will be picked up in a few days and she won’t use it late again if she works during the week?

Mangogogogo · 02/05/2022 17:27

I love a good house party and I would say any time past the age of 20 we were always considerate and everyone would go inside and music would be turned down. This was with drugs too.

a party is fine. Screaming in the back garden is a fucking joke.

my old neighbour did this once and I was raging, but luckily for her I guess I was still up and awake because of the music that I heard her being attacked and called the police so I literally couldn’t be mad at her after that, just wanted to make sure she was ok.

BattenburgDonkey · 02/05/2022 17:32

It was very rude of them, but 1 out of order party in 8 years is nothing, if the hot tub is there permanently I’d ask them to move it further away if possible, but if it’s hired you are over reacting about them hiring one once because you are selling your house in several months. Not to mention a neighbour dispute won’t help you sell your house. The neighbour is deff unreasonable but unfortunately it’s just life with neighbours.

Original poster
Exhausted45 · 02/05/2022 17:39

Sadly the hot tub is hers and a permanent fixture it would seem. She doesn't work so hoping it wont occur on a hot summer evening when I've got work.

OP posts:
tootiredtoocare · 02/05/2022 17:42

Don't worry too much about the hot tub. I know a few people who have them who have packed them away because they cost an absolute fortune to run. No one can afford it any more.

OuchitHurtstoomuch · 02/05/2022 17:47

Id mention it to her. You would have to be a real selfish arse to have a party that noisy and that close to your neighbours without giving them a lot of warning.

ballsdeep · 02/05/2022 17:49

Exhausted45 · 02/05/2022 15:41

Yeah and I get that but until 4am? Weve had partys etc but have been respectful of the people around us.

What is she going to do anout it now? Its happened, move on. It is not ideal but shit happens

Mellowyellow222 · 02/05/2022 18:03

Yes it’s annoying - a broken nights sleep really wrecks the next day. She was selfish and un neighbourly.

But you are moving - you won’t have to put up with it for much longer and you don’t want to have to declare a dispute.

next time pop your head out of the window and ask them to keep the noise down. I reckon it’s fine to do this after midnight at the weekend or 10pm during the week. Most people will just be a bit embarrassed and try to be quieter. If they get aggressive back off - you don’t need the hassle just before a move

Original poster
Exhausted45 · 02/05/2022 18:12

@Mellowyellow222 yeah I think the same ,no issues with a party (in a hot tub or not!) it's the fact it went on until 4am under my window thats got me annoyed.

OP posts:
Aconitum · 02/05/2022 18:16

If it's one of those inflatable ones.........🏹🏹🏹🤣🤣🤣🤣

I would have give it until 1am then shouted out of the window to keep the bloody noise down.
Problem is if you let it go this time and don't nip it in the bud it has the potential to escalate into a big issue. You really need to have a conversation with her and with her son, no need to fall out but tell them how it kept you and DC awake and you hope it's not going to be a regular thing til that time in the morning.
Failing that get the arrows out.

SynchroSwimmer · 02/05/2022 18:17

I normally have success after events like this - by heading out with the petrol mower/car doors open with loud stereo (or similar) at 0800 next morning….IME my neighbours only ever did it the once….and learned wisely….

SynchroSwimmer · 02/05/2022 18:21

Also works in hotels after late night antisocial disturbances…having fake early morning conversations (in Greek/Turkish/Spanish) in the corridors with the cleaners….about how “noisy it was last night, how it disturbed your sleep”/ as you slam your bedroom door…..mostly quiet then for the next 13 nights….

Original poster
Exhausted45 · 02/05/2022 18:25

@Aconitum lol at your comment, it is inflatable
@SynchroSwimmer wish I had thought of some of these earlier !

OP posts:
JemimaPiddleDick · 02/05/2022 18:43

First time in 8 years I’d tend to be forgiving, especially as they warned you first.
if they warn you again perhaps you could ask if it will be as late and loud as last time because it disturbed the kids to give the hint that you won’t be so tolerant next time.

Herejustforthisone · 02/05/2022 19:20

If it was below the window, I’d have connected a hose to the cold tap upstairs and let rip. Much fun.

AzazaelsFury · 02/05/2022 23:33

YANBU to be annoyed. But personally I wouldn't say anything unless it became a regular thing.

almondbran · 03/05/2022 00:56

Herejustforthisone · 02/05/2022 19:20

If it was below the window, I’d have connected a hose to the cold tap upstairs and let rip. Much fun.

Aye I’m sure you would have

50ShadesOfCatholic · 03/05/2022 01:18

Surprised by how many claim it’s unreasonable to not enjoy noise beneath the bedroom window until 4am.

smacks of gaslighting tbh

of course they were grossly unreasonable and surely have in some way breached a bylaw?

Thank goodness you are now moving.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/05/2022 01:51

Hot tubs are like sandwich toasters, you use them all the time when you first get one and then they end up at the back of the (metaphorical) cupboard, you think about using them but realise that they are too much of a pain in the arse so dont bother.

I have friends who spent £15k on a massive permanent one then £££££ more on the awning, new patio etc. They use it about once a month at most now and then only during the summer. It costs a fortune to run and the maintenance is a PITA. Everyone I know with one has ended up the same, so the next month or so it may happen a lot but after that, not so much.

I would probably have a word when you start marketing the house and ask her to not use it then though.

kitcat15 · 03/05/2022 01:57

If you want to sell your house anytime soon just leave it....you are legally bound to disclose any disputes with neighbours....the buyers won't view at bight so will be none the wiser

BreadAndWater · 03/05/2022 01:57

Your selling your house anyway…
Does it really matter?