Shit being alone on BH weekends

Tempnamelady · 2022-05-01T22:27:39+00:00

51, split from DH of 25 years last year. My choice, but God I find these long weekends hard. My friend cancelled our night out Sat night that I was really looking forward to, so not done much at all. Anyone else? Just watching 4 weddings - never lets me down.

RJnomore1 · 01/05/2022 23:31

Different but dh went to the pub after the football. He did come home at a reasonable hour in reasonable shape but his eyes were closing so he’s off sleeping it off and I’m watching Clarice.

nothing like being alone all weekend I know but he works a lot of weekend so a bit disappointed here.

I’ve never watched 4 weddings, any good?

bungee24 · 01/05/2022 23:34

I'm envious, it's better to be alone than to be trapped for a long weekend with someone who you don't want to be with.

Enjoy the freedom!

Desiredeffect · 01/05/2022 23:37

I love the freedom I have and can do what I want when I want with no one moaning at me etc. I like being single but that's just me

JaffavsCookie · 01/05/2022 23:37

You need to plan stuff out in advance
eg sat pm run and do garden, eve watch film
sun go to local market, country walk, batch cook for week etc etc
it sounds a bit worthy but at least it gives you a structure, and no disappointment

Kite22 · 01/05/2022 23:38

I am actually having a lovely BH weekend alone in my house.
My adult dc and partner are away, and my dh is away.
It feels very luxurious to be able to do just what I want, when I want, with no notice or consideration for others.
Am thoroughly enjoying living on my own this weekend. I'm not being alone all weekend as I am going out and about doing things, but I can be spontaneous about food, about timings, and watching whatever I want on the TV.

RainBow725 · 01/05/2022 23:38

Yep. I'm in exactly the same boat and it's miserable. It's hard to make yourself go out and do stuff when there's no one to share it with. Am also watching Four Weddings now!

user1471453601 · 01/05/2022 23:42

It must be shit if being alone isn't your thing.

I'm the opposite. I've got no problem being alone. Being with people on the other hand? I'm with Satre, it's hell.

SugarNspices · 01/05/2022 23:43

Kite22 · 01/05/2022 23:38

I am actually having a lovely BH weekend alone in my house.
My adult dc and partner are away, and my dh is away.
It feels very luxurious to be able to do just what I want, when I want, with no notice or consideration for others.
Am thoroughly enjoying living on my own this weekend. I'm not being alone all weekend as I am going out and about doing things, but I can be spontaneous about food, about timings, and watching whatever I want on the TV.

It's definitely nice when they go away and you have the place to yourself I would love that. But every weekend on your own might be less of a novelty for the Op by the sounds of it.

chipsnmayo · 01/05/2022 23:48

I am currently on my own, can you go away and stay with family next time?

My brother always invites me up at a BH (he lives a couple of hours away in a nice place), it is a mutually benefical arrangement though as I think him and in his wife like the company, they get a bit sick of each other! I dont go every BH though as sometimes my DD visits.

Original poster

Tempnamelady · 01/05/2022 23:49

would have been ok had sat night not been cancelled at short notice. I work very long hours and have that and the gym during normal weeks, but everyone is doing their own thing at BH and rightly so.

OP posts:

weightedblanketofshame · 01/05/2022 23:53

Yup, it's really shit! Ended up getting a bit teary and calling a friend who invited me to come round tomorrow. Wouldn't usually do that but that extra day really does drive home how lonely it can be sometimes.

Twinstudy · 01/05/2022 23:54

I know what you mean op, a couple of years ago I spent the whole Easter weekend on my own, everyone seemed to have plans or be away. I didn't speak to anyone from leaving work on the Thursday to going back in on the Tuesday. It was rough. It's really not comparable to people who are getting a break from their dh or DC, especially when you're fresh from a break up.

Hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend :)

ChazzaGirl · 01/05/2022 23:55

Have a kitchen disco! Get the tunes on and a glass of something and boogie on down! Seriously, I remember some days when I felt very lonely but I also miss the good things about being single - sole control of the remote, my choice of food, no one snoring or farting near me!

Bank holidays can be a bit crap sometimes so flowers and fizz for you, OP 🌷🍾

STARCATCHER22 · 02/05/2022 00:00

I think some posters have misunderstood what the OP means. There is a massive difference between being single and spending a bank holiday alone and usually living with your family but them being away from the weekend.
Understandably, a weekend on your own when it’s a novelty is very different to a weekend that reinforces just how alone you are.

I was single throughout lockdown and spent many long weekends feeling incredibly alone so I can sympathise. I ended up spending a lot of time wallowing on the sofa. Not sure I fully recommend that as a strategy though!

spotcheck · 02/05/2022 00:01

Those who are just getting a break are really not reading the room. Being on your own, completely alone, with no one coming home is very very different.
OP, I'm in the same situation. I've lost several friends in the last few years, no family around. It sucks. The worst bit is returning to work and having to pretend you had a marvelous time.

Btw, I have no great suggestions, just commiserations

STARCATCHER22 · 02/05/2022 00:04

spotcheck · 02/05/2022 00:01

Those who are just getting a break are really not reading the room. Being on your own, completely alone, with no one coming home is very very different.
OP, I'm in the same situation. I've lost several friends in the last few years, no family around. It sucks. The worst bit is returning to work and having to pretend you had a marvelous time.

Btw, I have no great suggestions, just commiserations

Returning to work and pretending you’ve had a great weekend is the worst.

If people haven’t experienced it, I don’t think they can truly understand it.

Sending love this bank holiday weekend :)

Original poster

Tempnamelady · 02/05/2022 00:08

Thanks all. I’ve had dinner with DS and his girlfriend and next door invited me in to watch out football team and a bite to eat . But i was really looking forward to a dressed up girlie night. I work very long hours in a senior role and the past couple of years have been really shit and it doesn’t feel like it’s getting better soon.

OP posts:

FreetheKhalo · 02/05/2022 00:27

Tempnamelady · 02/05/2022 00:08

Thanks all. I’ve had dinner with DS and his girlfriend and next door invited me in to watch out football team and a bite to eat . But i was really looking forward to a dressed up girlie night. I work very long hours in a senior role and the past couple of years have been really shit and it doesn’t feel like it’s getting better soon.

Make a plan for tomorrow! Either tick something off of your to do list that you’ve been putting off so that you feel accomplished, or book something in that you fancy - a film at the cinema? Reading a full book in a day? A last minute spa day? Explore a nearby town/city?

You are feeling shit because you’ve been let down. Even if you weren’t alone you would be disappointed so try not to link it to that too much.

Lightning020 · 02/05/2022 06:27

Join your local meet up groups that are geared for single people. Meetup dot com then search your area within a certain radius. Plenty going on for people who live on their own.

balalake · 02/05/2022 06:52

Start thinking about the next one this week, make plans.

CordeliaLOVEScocktails · 02/05/2022 07:04

Get busy girl!

I ended our marriage after 20 yrs. I'm now living with my teenage son whose out a lot.

This weekend I spent part of it on the south coast and saw a gig/family. Today I'm hiking.

Someone told me about MeetUp and it's been fab.

I'm also dipping my toe in the dating pond. Found a young man (15yrs younger) to have a bit of adult fun with :)

Enjoy yourself.

Neu · 02/05/2022 07:06

OP I'm with you.
It's very different enjoying rare time home alone to that being your default setting.
My nights out were also cancelled and I barely saw a soul. I'm hoping to remedy that today but I just wanted to empathise.

KimCheese · 02/05/2022 07:16

I'm separated and my Sat evening plans fell through too. If that happens, I try and schedule my programmes - so instead of drifting a bit because you hadn't planned to be in, I then think about what I'm going to watch, maybe I'll plan to watch some in bed. Have a bath etc.

It's crap though, I find it quite discombobulating and sometimes it's not being alone itself, but just the idea that everyone else has something on.

Of course, we know not everyone is having a great time, trapped in family dynamics they don't like etc but it doesn't help in the moment.

ivykaty44 · 02/05/2022 07:19

Have a look at meetups online for your area, stuff like hobby clubs, meeting in the pub, walks on b/h Monday etc all for solo people

Sharrowgirl · 02/05/2022 07:20

I think being alone like this is something you can only appreciate if you’ve been in that situation. It’s hard and bank holidays seem to really compound it.

You’ll get lots of advice about do this, try that. One thing I’d say is that don’t always assume everyone else is busy/having family time at weekends. I’ve a DH and two kids and we’ve had bugger all to do this weekend, would’ve loved to see some friends.