Shit being alone on BH weekends

[Tempnamelady]

51, split from DH of 25 years last year. My choice, but God I find these long weekends hard. My friend cancelled our night out Sat night that I was really looking forward to, so not done much at all. Anyone else? Just watching 4 weddings - never lets me down.

There may be events you can go to during the next long weekend given it is the Platinum Jubilee, worth checking what is on in your local area, OP. Where I live there is beacon lighting one evening, and a picnic afternoon on the Sunday.

Do you have kids OP?

Could you organise to get yourself away on long weekends? For instance signing up to a walk etc?

I do know what you mean, I'm feeling very lost in the city I have lived in for years. I'm actually moving, bit of a fresh start and I'm hoping that even if my social life doesn't exactly set itself on fire, I'll just feel a bit better in general.

Totally get uou

dh died 11yrs ago. Around Easter time. Though friends were very good and still are. I had May bh x 2 . Aug to contend with Christmas (saw ma and pa)

it’s very different being alone one weekend while partner is away /out and house usually manic so enjoying a quiet house

v

being alone every weekend

sorry your friend let you down @Tempnamelady

@KimCheese one grown up . @Blondeshavemorefun so sorry for your loss x I’m going camping for the next one, not my first choice but better than being here on my own .

bless you. Im all good. I met a lovely man. He’s now my dh. We have a 5yr

i was just trying to make posters understand how you feel @Tempnamelady

they say how lovely to have peace. But not every week all week

I will say my lovely friends took me clamping - I don’t camp

iM a posh blondes who likes beds and hotels

i also don’t glamp now either 🙀😂

I hear you, the long weekends are really hard. DH died a couple of months ago, he loved long weekends so the extra day just feels like rubbing salt in the wound. I did get out and about this weekend but it was hard seeing people doing couple things, this time last year we were planning our wedding. I am dreading this month full stop.

This is completely different from being single and facing every holiday alone.

OP I feel your pain. I have been single for a long time and find holidays lonely and disappointing.

I have just decided I will do things alone rather than let life pass me by sitting alone.

I am currently booking a trip to London to see a west end show - alone! It will be great, I will please myself. I know it will be a bit bitter sweet as most people enjoy this experience with a partner. But that’s not possible for me - so it’s either so it alone or never do it.

I’ve had a crap weekend and I’m not alone. In fact, if I’d been alone I might have had a better weekend.

Sorry to hear this @bloodywhitecat 💐💐

think I’ve replied to one of your posts before about dh

im 11yrs on and honestly can say I’m happy again. I was after a few years

Yes there are triggers that make me sad about dh and miss him

but time honestly helps - people told me that ans I thought what total bollocks. I will never smile and be happy again etx

but it’s true

I couldn’t imagine being 5yrs on and now it’s 11yrs

its such early days for you ans I hope you have good friends. I did and do

but life goes on - big love to you x

leans through iphone and give a very un mn hug x

Thank you, hearing it from people who have been there really does help . I am glad you found happiness again, I think it is what our husbands would've wanted, I know I would've wanted DH to be happy if it had been me in his position.

I don’t think it’s tone deaf to say that being with someone you don’t get on with is rubbish and can be lonely. Often when I feel lonely I console myself with the fact that I’m not with an abusive man, I’m safe and I have peace and quiet.

I like being alone but I don’t think humans are meant to be alone and I think there’s always a certain amount of stress that comes with it.

I think a lot of people don’t understand how it feels to be completely alone.

the lady above who came on to say how lovely it is to have the house to herself this weekend because everyone is away is clearly not emotionally intelligent.

coming on to grumble about partners is in the same category.

imagine sitting on a Friday night not sure you will speak to another person until Tuesday.

it’s not a competition - I am sure being in a crap relationship is hard - but this post was about OP’s loneliness, why do people always have to explain how their life is tougher?

Do you mean lost as in died, or fallen out with?

As well as Meet up there is a similar group, NWR,
which is great for single people.
I am single and divorced and spent Sunday in York with my local group, perhaps there is a group near you that you could join?

Sometimes you just want to be able to have a comfortable, easy time with people you already know.

ive made friends at meetups and we arrange stuff together. So we are not strangers any longer

Exactly! I've just recently realised that this is the thing. If you have friends and can 'fix it' by arranging things, it still requires effort. Even with really close friends. It's bloody exhausting in itself.

Just a thought , there is a meet up section here but it's very underused . How about putting a post along the lines of
Jubilee weekend coming up soon with no plans . I'm near York anyone fancy getting together for meal , drinks city explore etc etc or whatever . Anyone at a lose end can arrange to meet .

I totally get where OP is coming from and loneliness is one of the last / worst places to be if not by choice .

People suggesting planning some 'me' time - read a book, go to the cinema, have a bath etc etc, clearly don't realise that every bastard weekend can be like this and these things take up maybe a few hours in what can be long and tedious days.

Being single means you get to make all of the decisions, but it also means that you HAVE to make ALL of the decisions.

like @KimCheese says, it is bloody exhausting.

Why do you think this helps? It really doesn’t

There are two sides to all of this. I understand where busy people with families are coming from about having peace and quiet for a while and it sounding blissful. It does.

I am single. I live by myself. I have no children, I am the only one out of all my friends who has practically no family, too apart from an aunt. I work full time. I'm busy every evening and usually collapse into bed exhausted with things still to do. When it comes to Christmas and Bank Holidays all my friends are doing stuff with their families. Not every single time, but most of it. It doesn't bother me really. I plan things to do by myself. I recognise that these are rare occasions and are opportunities to plan away days by myself (where I am not having to compromise about what I do or where I eat or concerned I'm annoying someone by wanting to go somewhere). If someone wants to come, they can. If they don't, that's fine. I am not a loner, I am not an introvert. But sometimes it is great to be your own company.

Most weekends I am meeting friends, but not all. I plan all kinds of things. Lunch out on my own with a good book. Cinema or theatre. Walk. Phone a friend whilst having a walk. Away day. I always find someone to talk to on public transport or whilst out.

Nobody has all the answers. You have to experiment and find what works for you.

The irony of people being criticised for not reading the room but the op actually had company twice. That's really not being alone op!

I agree with a PP, don't assume that your coupled up friends are always too busy to see you, I do have a DH but we very happily do our own thing at weekends and Bank Holidays and I love meeting up with girl friends & doing different things ... and he loves playing golf with his mates .