To say no to big trip days before DS starts school

[alysthroughthelookingglass]

DS starts school on 1 September. DH wants us to drive the full width of the country (5 hours) to go to a friend’s wedding anniversary over August bank holiday weekend. We’d be staying 2 nights in b&b with 4yo DS and 6mo DD and would get home on 30 August, so DS would only have one full day at home before his first day of school. DS is sensitive and takes days to settle after change, such as going away. It’s often difficult to get him to preschool after a change to routine. It will be a big party and we will be the only ones with small children. The party is being hosted by DH’s oldest friends and I’m very happy for him to go without us but I want to dig my heels in and say no to taking DC’s. I just know it will be a disaster but wanted to know whether others think IABU first.

The party and the aftermath don't sound much fun for your DS but I wouldn't make a decision based around the fact that he's starting school, as there is likely to be a settling in period where he's doing a few shorter sessions. Have the school bee in touch with a start date? Where I work the reception children often start a few days after the beginning of term as we don't have 30 brand new 4 year olds all starting on the same day. Your school will hopefully be doing something like that. But if there won't be any other kids at the party and you don't think your DS will manage the long drive then you shouldn't go.

The chances he’ll actually start school that day are tiny. There’s usually a painfully long settling in period

He'd be unlikely to start 1st sept. Even if he starts when older classes return there's inset days at the start of term.

Yanbu to say you don't want to go with the DCs because that doesn't sound fun for them which will make it not fun for you, but I wouldn't have said the school thing should be the reason to say no.

Reception never start when the rest of the school start. Plan for a lot of settling in days and full time start mid September

Everything @ThisIsNotARealAvo said.

It seems very unlikely that Reception children will start full time to begin with, even if they do start on the first day (again, quite likely they won't), and even if term in your LA starts on the 1st (ours is 5th), and if your ds in in the first intake (might be but quite possibly won't be). So I wouldn't base your argument on that.

I should imagine your dh wants to be able to introduce his lovely family to his dear friends.

They pretty much never start on the 1st September even without settling in days etc. But the 5hr journey with little kids (especially the baby) doesn't sound like any fun for anybody.

It just doesn’t sound like a child friendly party tbh and I would not drive my DCs across the country for it. It will be exhausting and no fun for them at all. That’s the real issue. I think the DH should go alone if they’re his friends. If they’re mutual friends, toss a coin to see who goes and who stays home with the DC.

I would check the term dates before making the decision as most will have a couple of INSET days at the start of the autumn term. It’s likely the reception children won’t start until at least Monday 5th and, as others have said, in some schools and areas they delay the start of reception children further by only doing part-weeks or half days etc so it’s worth finding out more about when he would actually start before making a decision.

Have you actually had the 01/09 confirmed? I've never heard of anyone actually starting then. We always start around the 6th

I'm planning on 1st and 2nd Sept both being inset days for everyone. I've already told DH he needs to book it off. So I doubt DS will be starting school on the Thursday.

That said, it doesn't sound like a brilliant weekend with 2 small kids.

You’ll probably start on the 5th check the school’s website for inset days

Yanbu

As it's specifically a sensitive child YANBU. I've learned the unpleasant way that DS1 can't cope with launching from term ending straight to going away (and vice versa) and he needs about 3 days to unwind in between.

Check the term dates and INSETs, although some LAs/ schools do differ and have shorter summers and start earlier than average.

Unlikely to be full on from 1st so make the most of the time. Even when he does start it may well be part days for a few weeks.

The party/traveling sounds like hell. I wouldn't do that if I was paid, never mind the school date. Send DH alone. (Then make sure you get a weekend back for yourself).

I'd definitely go and enjoy.

It's unlikely the school will go back on a Thursday - more likely the rest of the school will resume on Monday 5th.
Reception starters usually have at least a few days of faffing about with teacher visits etc so wouldn't be at all surprised if your DC doesn't actually start til the 12th.

Agree most schools won’t start 1/9 will be inset. Most will be Monday after. Reception often start staggered and often only a few hours a day. I’d check with school.

I very much doubt your son will be in for the full day more like a few hours in the morning, it’s very much an anticlimax starting school. I’d go and have fun!

My children go back to school September 1st so I don’t dispute that.

Just looked on my LA website for term dates - it's Monday 5th start with a note to say all LA maintained schools will have an inset day on the Monday so back on the 6th

agreed If I’m England, probably won’t be starting school on 1st September, unless I’m Scotland then it’s a possibility as they go back in august

I don't know what the problem is here?

Earlier this week my 4yo got off a 7hr flight on Tuesday and went back to preschool (9-3) the next day.

But if you don't feel like going to the party, don't go.

Don’t use your child starting school days later as an excuse not to go. Is there no chance of getting childcare for the weekend and going just the two of you? Parents of young children need a good blow out occasionally. Could be a good weekend?

Ours started with everyone else, full time from day dot. No dithering here with half days for weeks on end.

But agree it'll prob be 5th