To be really scared of getting old

[Sophia91]

I’m so scared of getting old and losing my looks. I was talking to a friend last week who said it’s all down hill after about 35. Im also bothered about health, more so than looks, but these things are really playing on my mind.

I don't of anyone who looks forward to it. You just need to find other things that are more important.

Better than the alternative!

I came on to say exactly this.

My friend in her 40s is currently on end of life care due to cancer. Do you think she cares about losing her looks?

Down hill after 35 ?? Hate the expression but I for one, am living my best life since 40. Menopause was a pain but got through it eventually, very active and go getting at 58. I'm the eternal optimist and don't give a damn what others think of me. Getting older is truly liberating inspite some health problems but they are managed.
I might be one of the luckier ones though.

Never mind your looks - think about your health!

Do you find all the old people around you ugly? Are you not able to accept that people simply look different at different ages? It is just a fact if life - and personally I find the "painted ladies" who are trying to look a different age from their own look a bit pathetic.

Far more important to you when that time comes will be how well or otherwise you feel. The best way to prepare to avoid bad health is to get loads of calcium down so that your skeleton does not crumble when you are older.

Lots more important things on the go than your looks as you age. Please try and enjoy the moment and not let these thoughts enter your mind.

Good lord I really do read some ridiculous shit on here.

I strongly suggest, OP, you get a grip.

Everyone gets older. I'd say post 35 is actually better than pre35. So much more in control of your life and know who you are/what you like.

As for worrying about looks.

The alternative to getting old doesn't appeal to me so I'm quite happy with ageing to be honest.

I'm 51. Do I look as young as I did at 30? No
Am I less attractive? No, I just look older

Many of us don't get the privilege of getting old. Be grateful for what you have

I get you. I am 60 next year and id forgotton. I took my youth for granted and drank too much, partied amd parented and worked hard and now i cant do it. !
Have started exercising, and going out a max of 4 nights a week. When home i dont drink the other 3 nights. I am looking into skin care.
I feel omg only.a few years left. But ive read you can be fit etc in your 70s so trying to invest infuture self.
As for looks.. you can eat well, good skin care, exercise, have fillers or accept it but working on it if it bothers you. I know a stunning looking 70 year old bye the way. Id rather look stunning than pretty anyday anyway.. pretty fades, character doesnt .

I do sympathise OP, it’s something we all have to come to terms with.

if you have a positive mid life awakening when you truly deeply feel your own mortality many good things can come from it, such as:

• you take care of your health
• you are less shallow
• you spend your time and attention on things that have greater meaning (for you /and others)

yes, looks fade but so long as you do the ‘internal’ work, life can be even better than the (natural) superficiality of youth

I don’t think you need to get a grip or think about the possibility of dying young to scare yourself into “appreciating” your youth. I think you need to start a new thread on here asking about people’s life transformations/ achievements / adventures after they turned 30 or 40 or 50 or retired! I feel like there is still quite a lot of media pressure that if you’re not on track in your twenties, it’s all downhill from there, and it’s just not true. There is so much life after your 20s and 30s, and it’s not a compromise or just “making the best of things”… it’s just as real, exciting and fulfilling. You have so much to look forward to!

I quite like it.
I'm 41 and becoming invisible to men. It's freeing. I'm happy with my husband and my life, who cares what anyone else thinks about my appearance?

I don't think it's an unreasonable concern. Not worrying about something due to it not being as bad as cancer sounds a bit daft tbh. Sexual discrimination at work? Don't worry at least you haven't got cancer. 🙄

Worrying about something you can't possibly change is so ridiculous. Take care of your body and your skin, and age gracefully. Everyone gets older, love. No one is immune.

My 40s have been my best decade by far and I’m looking forward to my fifties coming up very soon.

35 is not old!

I look a lot better in my 50's than I ever did in my 30's.

I think more and more women particularly look so good as they age now and definitely don’t go ‘downhill.’ None of us look as young as we did a few years ago but we can all still look attractive with a little effort.

I'm nearly 70 -and still fit and healthy thanks to modern medicine. I'm retired - I've got all day to do what I want - it's great!!!

I’m 59 and I don’t care about the same things I did in my thirties. I barely wear make up whereas I used to adore the whole thing. I am more concerned about what my body can do rather than its appearance. I love being in mountains and forests rather than anywhere else-would have been bored in my thirties. So while you may be worried now, you may find your thoughts and opinions change over the years. But if I can presume to give you some advice which I’ve realised too late-enjoy your looks while you have them rather than worry about their loss and save, save as much as you can afford to as it’s daunting looking into your sixties and thinking it would be easier if you had more of a cushion.

Don't waste your youth worrying about this! Seriously!

YABU. Some people don't get to grow older. It's worth asking yourself why you are scared of 'losing your looks' when lots of women (and probably far more men) don't give it that much headspace. Is it because you consider yourself to have been very attractive? Or because you surround yourself with people who are very focussed on looks? Or spend a lot of time on fashion/beauty-dominated social media?

I have never considered myself to be 'good looking' so it has never bothered me to think I will lose my looks.

If you only judge yourself and others on looks then I can see how that might scare you.

This is why bothering about your looks is pointless. Not to mention rather vain and shallow. If all you have is a pretty face, you will spend at least half your entire life being miserable about losing it.
Focus on more important and valuable things, OP. Your career development, your skills and abilities, the help you can give to others, the difference you can make to the world.
God doesn’t give a shit what you
look like - when you eventually die, as we all must, He will want to know that you made best use of the talents He gave you, to love and serve your fellow humans.

I see growing older as a gift. Better than the alternative. And I've never felt (or looked) better and I'm mid forties.

Don't worry OP.

I'm 58, and life is fine. I've taken care to maintain fitness, I can still run 10k and practice martial arts to maintain flexibility. I don't feel any different.

I live with my ds (13). I've had one health scare but the NHS were so good, they saw me through. I didn't even have to pause work.

Now I'm looking forward to retirement - I've decided to go at 60, I have a nice life. I certainly don't worry about my looks, priorities change. I go for well-groomed and trim., and am happy with that.

I'm 52, healthy as an ox and better looking than I was in my 20s by a mile. (And I was decent looking then too.)