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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be really upset about my wages

100 replies

Andzelikaa · 30/04/2022 08:52

I recently asked for a payrise as I’ve been struggling for money due to the increase in cost of living. I hadn’t had any sort of pay review since before lockdown or even a one to one. My manager actually thought I was on more money than I was getting and sprang into action. I was brought into a meeting room and told by a director that my hard work is greatly appreciated and I would get a payrise which would be in my April wage. The director who told me this also told me to make sure to check my payslip to make sure it went through ok.

I checked my bank account on payday and my payrise had not been actioned. I am abroad and have not been in the office so I emailed my manager who at first apologised and said we’d get it sorted. He then emailed me back saying no the payrise was only going through in my May wage that’s how payroll works. I replied disputing this as it wasn’t what I was told and he completely ignored me. I know he has been in the office.

i feel absolutely embarrassed and humiliated by this and wish I hadn’t asked for more money as this has stressed me out so much. I feel that I was lied to my face and ignored. AIBU if I complain to HR? I’ve never been one to make a fuss but I’m so deeply hurt and feel even more worthless than I did before.

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 30/04/2022 08:53

You often find directors don't actually know how things like payroll work and say things that they don't know are true.

You'll get it next month. Try not to worry too much. I know it's crap but hopefully you'll get back pay

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 30/04/2022 08:54

Have you actually spoken to payroll?

PupInAPram · 30/04/2022 08:55

It's been caused by a payroll cut off deadline. If they've agreed to a rise from April you will get it backdate in May's pay.

WoodenClock · 30/04/2022 08:55

It's entirely possible the payrise is from April but will be paid in May, I.e. you'll get the rise back dated to April in your May pay simply because it missed the cut off for April pay.

You manager doesn't deal with pay personally, it would be better if he didn't ignore you, but I do think you're over reacting. It will be sorted and even if it's not you'll still get it from May.

Thingsthatgo · 30/04/2022 08:55

In my experience, any pay rises have started in the next full month's pay. So a rise negotiated in April would have begun in May, not halfway through April.
When was it agreed?

ChimChimeny · 30/04/2022 08:55

You definitely shouldn't feel bad because it was their cock up not yours. It might be worth asking for it to be backdated to April but it doesn't sound like it will be.

Next time get it in writing so there can't be any confusion

monkeysox · 30/04/2022 08:56

They might have missed the deadline for it to be in this month's pay.

Hellocatshome · 30/04/2022 09:13

I work in payroll the Directors will have told you what they believed at the time then went to payroll to tell them to action it to be told that they had missed the April cut off for changes. You will get your extra April money in your May pay I'm not sure why you are so angry and upset by this its just a timing issue they are not going back on your payrise you are still getting it.

Original poster

Andzelikaa · 30/04/2022 09:15

Just to clarify the response from my manager said my payrise was only effective from May - zero mention of it being backdated. I was specifically told to my face that it would be reflected in my April wages and to check my payslip to make sure it had been processed. Had I been told the payrise was effective from May I wouldn’t have been expecting it. I don’t think it’s right that a company can promise someone money in a pay period then just retract it.

OP posts:

Unsure33 · 30/04/2022 09:15

First of all you should have some written confirmation about what raise has been agreed and from what date . Do you have that ?

Butterfly44 · 30/04/2022 09:17

If it's effective May it will be in May pay not before. Regardless of what manager says payroll will pay as they expect to.

Frogslegsbigfeet · 30/04/2022 09:18

That’s an extreme reaction, to feel humiliated and worthless becayse your pay rise is four weeks later than anticipated? Is there a back story? Normally being a bit pissed off would be the response, not humiliated and worthless?

Savingpeoplehuntingthings · 30/04/2022 09:21

Big over reaction for a pay rise being one month later than you expected.

Whadda · 30/04/2022 09:22

You asked for a pay rise and received it. Lots of companies are not doing that right now.

it sounds like someone fucked up in terms of overpromising when it came to effective date. That’s unfortunate but you’ve received an apology and told it’ll be remedied.

Now you want to start a grievance against your manager (which is what you’ll have to do- HR won’t just nod their heads and tut-tut, if you complain about your manager’s actions, you’ll have to do it formally through the relevant process)?

Why are you “absolutely embarrassed and humiliated”?

I think you’re being unreasonable.

Mercurial123 · 30/04/2022 09:23

Agree your response is a bit dramatic. As pp poster mentioned management are usually unaware of payroll practices. YABVU.

LemonDrizzleSlice · 30/04/2022 09:24

Do you have any paper trail at all about getting a pay rise? Or just a verbal understanding?

Did anyone follow up or confirm it in an email or letter? Have you spoken to Payroll to confirm it's happening at all?

LemonDrizzleSlice · 30/04/2022 09:25

Did you follow it up in an email? "Just to confirm that we agreed blah blah"?

LemonDrizzleSlice · 30/04/2022 09:25

Do you even know how much you're getting?

lickenchugget · 30/04/2022 09:26

Sounds like standard issues around payroll cut offs, and agree with PP’s, anyone outside of direct payroll staff do not tend to understand the dates etc. Your reaction seems over dramatic, had you budgeted for the increase and now you’re short this month?

Fireflygal · 30/04/2022 09:27

i feel absolutely embarrassed and humiliated by this and wish I hadn’t asked for more

Use this situation as your wake up to be more assertive. Nothing wrong with asking for a patristic, they can always say No and it doesn't reflect on you.

If you agree a payrise always follow up in writing. I don't think you should respond now as you're obviously upset. Give yourself time to get over the strong emotions and follow up next week.

You are not worthless because your manager has chosen to pay you later than you agreed. You can choose to chalk this up to experience and get everything in writing in future or decide this is the final straw and make plans to leave. I don't think complaining is the right approach. Do you have a good relationship with the Director?

FredaFox · 30/04/2022 09:28

When I do pay rises for my team I have to complete a firm to a deadline so that could have been missed or like others have said the director isn't as in to the detail with these things (mine aren't) and made an error
What does happen with my increase is once it's been processed by her you would get a letter confirming new salary and date from m, have you had any of that? Do you work at a company big enough to have a hr or payroll team to speak to?

Are you on minimum wage? Are you on the correct minimum wage?
You say you are struggling with cost of living yet are abroad?

NoSquirrels · 30/04/2022 09:29

You could choose to focus on a one-month delay and a miscommunication that makes you feel humiliated and upset.

Or you could choose to focus on the words of praise and that you’re receiving a pay rise in 4 weeks.

Original poster

Andzelikaa · 30/04/2022 09:30

I was NOT promised it would be remedied.

just to be clear I was told I would have a pay increase effective in my April wages and now I’ve been told it’s only from May. No mention of backdating it.

I feel embarrassed as I feel very stupid for being led to believe I was going to get more money this month. I felt embarrassed asking for more money in the first place.

OP posts:

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 30/04/2022 09:32

So you are getting your payrise just one month later than expected?

No need to feel humiliated, maybe a bit pissed off or frustrated but you are overreacting. Why would you wish you had never asked for a payrise???????

Wait until you are back in the office and calmly email the director who promised you the payrise in April and ask him to confirm that it will be backdated as per your conversation. Your manager is putting the payrise through but he wasn't the one who said it would be effective for April so go straight to the horse's mouth.

In future, ask for a review every 12 months and ask for confirmation of any changes in writing as soon as they are agreed. If your boss isn't great at that stuff take a note yourself and ask them to confirm that they agree it.

ChocBloc · 30/04/2022 09:34

Why do you feel embarrassed? It's a perfectly reasonable thing to ask.

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