To be really upset about my wages

[Andzelikaa]

I recently asked for a payrise as I’ve been struggling for money due to the increase in cost of living. I hadn’t had any sort of pay review since before lockdown or even a one to one. My manager actually thought I was on more money than I was getting and sprang into action. I was brought into a meeting room and told by a director that my hard work is greatly appreciated and I would get a payrise which would be in my April wage. The director who told me this also told me to make sure to check my payslip to make sure it went through ok.

I checked my bank account on payday and my payrise had not been actioned. I am abroad and have not been in the office so I emailed my manager who at first apologised and said we’d get it sorted. He then emailed me back saying no the payrise was only going through in my May wage that’s how payroll works. I replied disputing this as it wasn’t what I was told and he completely ignored me. I know he has been in the office.

i feel absolutely embarrassed and humiliated by this and wish I hadn’t asked for more money as this has stressed me out so much. I feel that I was lied to my face and ignored. AIBU if I complain to HR? I’ve never been one to make a fuss but I’m so deeply hurt and feel even more worthless than I did before.

Follow up with an email which copies in both payroll and your manager.

Simply state that you had a conversation with your manager that you would receive a pay rise from April, but it did not appear in your pay packet for whatever reason.

Simply ask for confirmation of what the pay rise is and confirmation of when it will appear in your pay packet and that it will be backdated to April.

Putting it in an email instead of a spoken conversation and copying in both gives the advantages of;

• written record, so then hard for anyone to say something else agreed or to renege on it.


• manager can chase payroll or payroll can chase manager as needed for authorisation


• you do t have to have a conversation which you feel is awkward.

With this kind of thing, even if you have a conversation and something is agreed, it’s always good to send an email confirming the conversation and what was agreed so there is a record of it. It means there is a record and jogs the mind of the person who might need to take an action in response to it. If anything goes wrong, you can reply by forwarding the earlier message and refer to it.

Dont feel humiliated. If payroll made you feel crap about the conversation, that’s poor. Your business doesn’t sound like it’s HR management is going well! Don’t give up. What you’ve asked for and was agreed is reasonable. Sometimes you have to persevere a bit with these things to make them happen. If you give up at the first barrier, you won’t get what’s owed to you.

Do you have it in writing?

It may be that it missed the payroll. Ours starts processing at the beginning of the month. If you missed it it should be back paid.

It is worrying that they are now saying May. Confirm your understanding in writing.

Its understandable to be annoyed but as I think you have realised now your reaction is OTT. You asked for a pay rise and got it, annoying that it’s a month later than expected but it’s coming, I personally wouldn’t ask them to backdate it as you will just cause yourself more distress if they say no, and they may remember your OTT reaction going forward. But if you can ask in a calm way it probably wouldn’t hurt. If you are so unhappy in your job are you able to look for a new one?

I would've thought that the cut of has been missed by payroll. I wouldn't imagine your manager would have much knowledge on payroll. You will potentially get it back dated so April increase in Mays salary.

It is nerve wracking asking for a pay rise. I’ve done it before and have had a flat denial. That WAS humiliating and made me decide to leave that job - which I eventually did with a pay rise.

I do find it very hard to speak to my superiors about getting more money. Unfortunately I think it’s a female thing - we’ve been conditioned to think it’s grasping. And of course often we are paid less because we “didn’t ask”. We can’t win really. I’m sure the men ask all the time.

The months delay just seems like an admin problem.

Don't be embarrassed that you asked for a pay rise. You've got it and that's fantastic, if you hadn't asked you wouldn't have gotten it. I think it's ok to feel disappointed that the pay increase didn't go thro this month but a bit of an over reaction to feel humiliated. The director shouldn't have said anything, I doubt he has ever worked in payroll. I'd imagine you missed the cut off. Unless you work for a very small company they usually will not re-do the payroll. Even at that it depends on what the person doing payroll is like!

Our payroll cut off is 2 weeks before payday so we would have a delay. Follow up when you are back in work and good on you in asking and getting.

Contact the director who said it would be in your pay cheque from April thanking him/her for recognising your value to the company with increased pay but let him/her know that it hasn't been actioned yet as per their offer, and that while you've been told it will be in your May cheque ask for it to be backdated to the beginning of April as per their promise. Point out that your take home pay has actually reduced this month as a result of the National Insurance increase. I agree with others that he/she probably hasn't understood how the payroll works, but he/she did say it would be effective from the beginning of April so if they are a decent boss they will want to stick to his word, and they did ask you to check your pay cheque.

This. You are being hugely emotional about this.

I assume you asked for your pay rise in writing - it will have a date from which the pay rise is effective. What date is on that letter?

They clearly just didn’t realise how payroll works and made a promise they couldn’t keep. Ask for the pay rise to be back dated as you were told it would be effective from April. No need to be embarrassed, this is what they agreed. However fyi, the cost of living is not a good argument for negotiating a payrise.

to clarify I meant I am sure you clashed for confirmation of your pay rise in writing?

what level are you in the company? Junior, middle management? While you should absolutely be assertive, you need to handle this professionally. Stay calm and stick to the facts.

get your documentation, ask payroll what instructions they have been given. Don’t go in all bluster and emotional.

Why isn’t the cost of living a good reason to ask for a pay rise? It’s the exact reason many businesses are using for putting up prices! I don’t see EDF saying “wholesale prices have gone up but we won’t be passing that on to the customer”! If employees are struggling then they will look for jobs elsewhere - a decent boss who values them will want to stop that happening.

because literally everyone is in the same situation. Negotiating a payrise is about what you are bringing to the company, your contribution and how you are an asset. You’re personal circumstances are irrelevant, you don’t get paid based on how hard up you are.

You are right to be annoyed - they can’t agree to a payrise and then change the timing of it later, you might have relied on the promise!

I don't think you should be upset, as it seems clear to me that you'll see the rise in pay in the May paypacket.

Have you been to your GP about your PMs? Sounds like you really suffer xx

Never feel embarrassed about asking for a pay rise. A man doing a mediocre effort would not.

Directors rarely have an understanding that any changes to pay need to be in before a certain date for them to go through. Usually a couple of weeks to process the change. So if this was agreed after mid April I would be surprised if it would come through. Should it be backdated? Ask your manager (a man would!!)

Yes, everyone suffers from the cost of living rise and that’s why employers will have to look at across the board pay increases or risk a staff shortage. Of course when arguing for your own increase you should mention all your own fab work!

I’m always very uncomforTable when a woman behaves in an over emotional and irrational manner and then blames her hormones. It makes people think that as women we all can’t behave rationally on a monthly basis and does us a disservice, that we loose control of ourselves totally.

If this is something you have monthly and you lose the ability to think or behave rationally , and then rest of the time you don’t , then I do think you need to speak to your doctor urgently.

if something else is going on and you don’t wish to discuss it, and want to jist blame your hormones then it’s worth speaking to your doctor but don’t just basically blame the fact you’re a woman for your reaction .

As someone who has to do the administration for things like pay rises, it drives me nuts when managers do this. They make promises that are out of touch with reality and I get to be the one to explain that regardless of what they said, unless they were paying you from their own pocket, there was no change in a billion it would be processed as promised. And yet I’m already the bad guy, even when hearing about it for the first time.

Sorry OP. Mostly likely this will be on managements lack of understanding of how things work.

You sound assertive and strong in your posts here - take the same approach to your work situation!

unless you’d already spent the money, it’s not that big a deal is it? Deffo not something to be humiliated about - just email and confirm that your May pay will include the pay raise agreed from April. Simples

Well done on getting a raise - that’s the main thing!

My pay rise will come in mays pay. Don’t feel
hurt- at least you got the pay rise and verbal validation that you are an appreciated member of staff. Xx

Massive overreaction..…l worst case scenario is you will get a pay rise one month later….FFS 🙄

I'm glad you're feeling a little calmer about this OP.

If it's any consolation, your manager should be the one feeling embarrassed, not you.

I hope you get the pay you're expecting in may, backdated.

Do go to the docs about your PMT. It can be a bitch!

I think you need to calm the hell down, honestly. It's absurd to feel 'humiliated' upon learning that your agreed pay rise won't be realized until next month. Humiliation is essentially contingent upon there being an audience to your embarrassment. How has that happened? Annoyed - ok, fair. But you sound very overzealous about all this.