To think my DC is too clever for state secondary school?

[GeniusCreator]

DC is Yr7. Top of year according to what I’ve been told. Read the full series of Harry Potter books by 7 years old. Excels in STEM subjects. Spends ages at home researching science stuff like quantum field theory and nuclear fusion/fission and enjoys it! Designs his own websites and writes his own code for his own games. Primary school were always pretty amazed by him. Secondary school have picked up on him now and have said they’ve never seen anything like him.

He’s already mentioning being a bit bored in class. We live in what could be described as a deprived town and are not well off, no family to help out, so would never be able to get him into a private school. I did check with the private school in the next town but there are no scholarships available.

WIBU to try to crowdfund for private school fees?

He needs a much higher level curriculum than the state school one to continue stretching him. I honestly think he’s destined for amazing things.

<only slightly light hearted>

As someone who went to Cambridge from a Northern comprehensive, the pressure can also be v high from a school that doesn’t normally do this sort of thing. My friend and I were there one big hope, and we got tons of pressure

The school won’t move him up a year, nor should they. He’d get ripped to shreds!!!
All private schools have to offer scholarships as part of their charitable status. Many target children from schools in more deprived areas.

MN isn’t the place to ask about this sort of thing because everyone is consumed by jealousy and rage/you get a mixture of people thinking you’re making it up as they can’t believe a child can do it, and you get people who say their own child can do it.

a couple of things (have also sent you a PM):

1. there’s a very big difference between being very bright, and actually being a genius. Important to work out which one you’re dealing with because it makes a huge difference to approach and outcome.
2. schools don’t like to move children up. Mostly because of the social impact, and there’s quite a lot of evidence for why it’s not a good thing to do, particularly with a summer baby.
3. if people really think Eton is an Academic school they have lost the plot 😃
4. I wouldn’t crowd fund or pay for someone with this crowd fund and I know you were being lighthearted re that bit but just to say it’s up to you to do a crowd fund for whatever you want and there will always be someone who will pay towards it so if you wanted to try it, you could. I mean you’re not going to lie about what it’s for so people can make up their own minds!

If you can afford it, consider private tutoring alongside his mainstream learning - but be careful not to consume all his valuable socializing time. There are some online Gifted Children support resources that may be useful.

Speak to his school about Stretch and Challenge, and what support they can offer. There are schemes available to provide schools with additional resources to maintain the momentum of students that are pushing ahead of their peer group.

There is already a well established method of crowdfunding fees - scholarships! I mean, who do you think pays for the scholarships - it's current parents and former students in the main. If he's that bright, privates will want him (although the quality of education might not be that much better).

You could have a look for boarding schools that are quite academic and have scholarships. That would get around the lack of them locally if you think he'd be happy to board?

My son was very gifted, won the whole school maths challenge within weeks of starting year seven. Has an eidetic memory, passed GCSEs, A levels, got a degree and masters with minimal effort. His degree and masters lecture notes consist of one or two words and the occasional don't remember. He'd write his dissertation taking a day off work the day before the deadline.
He said secondary school was the best time of his life, not because they taught him much but because of friendships, sports teams, extra curricular activities, residentials and all the stuff outside the lessons. Encourage your child to make the most of every opportunity. FWIW ds hasn't read any of the Harry Potter series not sure that it has much bearing on intelligence.

Seriously?! Wow.

Yabu.

If he is all that then he will have no issue getting a scholarship.

Your son sounds great; it's lovely that you're proud of him.

Children do better at private school for various reasons - lots of it is confidence, associating with lots of other comfortable, well-off children, higher expectations, making connections and learning how to get along with various social situations. Some of it smaller class sizes, etc.

Emotional and social development is also important, though - your son will probably have to negotiate that with his peers, even if he is 'advanced' academically. It can be hard to be gifted, wherever you are in the school system. (from observation of a gifted child in my son's year).

I think looking for tutors, courses, challenges and opportunities within and outwith school is going to be your best bet. Sounds like your son will do well - the most important thing is that he is well supported and encouraged, imo. Keep finding opportunities for him, let him test himself, and keep asking questions. All the best.

As a child of working class parents who was sent to private school and moved up a year, I wish the adults around me had thought more about the consequences of those decisions. It might have been good for me academically but socially and emotionally it was disastrous and I would never wish the same for my DC. I now choose to work at a state secondary, where I am 100% certain the children are receiving a much better educational experience (both academically and pastorally) than I did.

I was moved up two years for some subjects (in the early 80s).
It was awful and I still feel bad about it now. I was a total oddity to my actual year group and the older kids.
It impacted me socially hugely.
I ended up more or less dropping out of education by 14.
I put myself through university in my 30s and ended up (at one point in my career) lecturing at a top five university.
I'd leave him where he is, let him make friends and concentrate on bringing up a happy boy who's doing well at his state school.
Like others said, look at sport, music or other activities for him.

if people really think Eton is an Academic school they have lost the plot

giraffesandbottom which schools do you think are academic?

Crowdfunding sounds very selfish/entitled. Have you considered home educating if you don’t feel that state school is a good fit for him, but you can’t afford private school?

"As someone who went to Cambridge from a Northern comprehensive, the pressure can also be v high from a school that doesn’t normally do this sort of thing. My friend and I were there one big hope, and we got tons of pressure"

Yes, I can understand that, having gone to a northern comp in a deprived area myself, but this school isn't like that, it's in an affluent commuter town for one thing, and they have a G&T programme and have sent students to some good universities. It's just that their focus is on the "whole child", and on making sure that every child meets their full potential, not just the very bright ones.

I haven't completely made my mind up which school to make our first choice (DD is in Y5), but I was very impressed when I went to their open evening, and have heard so much good stuff from parents and pupils already there.

And of course there isn't really a choice with LA schools anyway! It's our technically nearest school (that's not single sex or religious) but if there's a lot of applications/siblings that year we still might not get it.

Anyway, don't mean to distract from the OP. I doubt you'd get very far with crowdfunding OP, but there's no reason you shouldn't investigate scholarships for private schools.

I think you are a tiny bit deluded and in awe of your son. I mean, that's normal, we're supposed to be a bit in awe of our kids but... I don't think what you describe is as extraordinary as you think.

Like your son, my daughter (also now in Y7) had also read all HP books by age 7, at the same age was going around telling everyone she wanted to go to the best university in the country to study physics or chemistry to PhD level and is consistently at the top of her year.

Unlike your son, she was at a prep boarding school from 7-11 and has now gone into the state grammar system and tells me every single week how much happier she is there.

There are plenty of private schools who do excellent scholarships and bursaries (we got a 70% discount to the one we went to) and if you're prepared to send him boarding you won't struggle to get him one if he's as exceptional as you believe.

@neverbeenskiing ha we could start a support group.

I've never known a school that tells parents their kids' "placing" within the year group academically or behaviourally?

You could think of this two ways. Your son might be better off in an academically selective school with more children of a similar ability. But on the flip side, from what you've written, he would not be considered at all exceptional at my highly selective school, which could be quite a dent to his confidence.

@Barbadossunset

King’s, St Paul’s, Westminster, Godolphin and Latymer etc.

Eton I think is always used as an example because of how many well known people have attended there so it’s well-known but I think its a bit of a meme school at this point, and I have no idea how it consistently gets into the top school lists. I know a few people who’ve attended and they, like people who attended Harrow, are not particularly bright. Unlike people who attended the schools I listed (and similar london day schools).

No the more kids that don't go private the better the state system will get. their results only seem worse because of people who take their kids out to go private. And no you can't crowd fund your geniuses school education that's just weird.

Kids at private schools do lots of drugs. They can afford it.

DD attended state until yr12. She loved her public school 6th form, but often came home with stories about the drug use, and "rich people" stories. The things they would blithely spend money on. DD started smoking while at 6th form: nobody else in her life except her indie school peers smoked.

I could say more about DD's high achievements, but agree thread will go poof so why bother. I would prioritise social life over academic concerns, anyway.

You actually struggled to read Harry Potter books yourself? 😕I really wouldn't admit that anymore op..

Pay for tutors. Please don't try to help him yourself.

This.

DD "inhales" books (quoting English teacher), has always been on various sports teams and has always loved any kind of museum or lecture or extra curricular opportunity.

She went to normal comp, got 4 x A* in her A-Levels and is now studying for a Masters in a STEM subject at a top uni.

2 of my 3 children did that too. They are bright kids but not genius level. I don't think that's a particularly wild claim.

Really no need for that, is there?

I really don't get the "He's clever, therefore we need to push him even more" theory.
At the end of his school career he will be measured against the same academic yardstick as every one of his peers, which is his GCSE and A Level results.
And believe me, a lot of children (from state and private schools) apply to uni with the absolute top grades in every subject, what makes him stand out will be his extra curricular stuff.
If he is as clever as you feel he is, he can afford to relax and follow his interests. Don't "other" him or let him believe he is the special one.
I'd be encouraging him to do something that is a real challenge for him, like maybe football or dance and something he can excel in like the cyber first courses ŕun by GCHQ.