To think my DC is too clever for state secondary school?

[GeniusCreator]

DC is Yr7. Top of year according to what I’ve been told. Read the full series of Harry Potter books by 7 years old. Excels in STEM subjects. Spends ages at home researching science stuff like quantum field theory and nuclear fusion/fission and enjoys it! Designs his own websites and writes his own code for his own games. Primary school were always pretty amazed by him. Secondary school have picked up on him now and have said they’ve never seen anything like him.

He’s already mentioning being a bit bored in class. We live in what could be described as a deprived town and are not well off, no family to help out, so would never be able to get him into a private school. I did check with the private school in the next town but there are no scholarships available.

WIBU to try to crowdfund for private school fees?

He needs a much higher level curriculum than the state school one to continue stretching him. I honestly think he’s destined for amazing things.

<only slightly light hearted>

Well if you can’t afford it you can’t afford it. You can’t crowd fund. Most would rather their kids were at private, even more so if their NOT bright, as tbh that’s where private really makes a difference. Just make sure he works hard and goes to oxbridge. He’ll be fine

Crowdfund 🤣🤣

Haha. I was amazing at state primary. Mediocre at private secondary. It sucked. I never won any prizes or got any commendations and I felt as though my abilities were worthless. State school, I may have had a chance to shine.

My very bright dd goes to the local state school. We could afford private fees, but choose not to go down that route. Shes in year 7.

I've just had parents evening and the teachers all had fantastic feedback. Not just about her behaviour and attitude but also on how we could support her. Things like in English getting her to read a wider variety of books as they'll be doing Shakespeare and one 18th century text - so if she reads lots of those books now it will help familiarise her with the language styles. So start reading Frankenstein, Jekyll and Hyde, etc.

Actually my main concerns are that shes happy, that shes well rounded, that she has solid friendships. I don't worry about the academic side of things as shes so self motivated naturally.

So you want beg to send your normal kid to private school? There's some really white private schools around just are there are some really shit state secondaries, and vice versa.

If he's that much of a genius he'll excel anywhere.

Fucks sake.

I tend to think bright children will do well anywhere, so long as they're happy.

My DD is super-bright, and her teachers and the Head of her school have more than once suggested it'd be a "waste" for her not to go to either the grammar or the selective private school. But I'm leaning towards a local comprehensive which has a reputation for being brilliant pastorally and not so great academically, because I'm not in the least bit concerned about her ability to do well academically, but I do worry about her future mental health.

Hi OP I get that you only want the best for your DS. I think you need to think more widely than - he needs to go to private school. As PP have said this might not be that different to the school he is at where he seems settled.

By all means research bursaries for private schools but I would be focused on giving him as many stretching opportunities as you can. Are there mentoring schemes running with local businesses, could he take an extra class at a further education college (say a language like manadarin ) are there selective holiday camps he could apply for, I knew a friend who went to space camp. Focus your energies on hunting down these types of stretching activities.

to expand on my previous answer, @GeniusCreator , Christ's Hospital is a private charity boarding school designed specifically to take children from deprived / difficult / impoverished backgrounds and help them reach their full potential, at fees the parents can afford, which in many cases is nothing or a few hundred pounds a year. It has amazing facilities and a great Oxbridge track record. Do look into it.

If he's that special he'll ace his exams wherever he goes and you can't get higher than a top grade so what's the point in sending him to a private school? He'll get straight A* (or whatever today's equivalent is) and be able to apply for Oxbridge.

In the meantime, look to stretch him further through talented and gifted programmes or something. Lots of really clever state educated children do perfectly well.

So much jealously on here! 😂

Good for your son, OP.

I'd personally keep him at the state school (in his current class) unless anything changes regarding the school or he becomes unhappy. Ask for extension activities (chances are he will be given any that come up). For example, at my school I was always tapped on the shoulder for science camps, drama camps, debating and other (often externally run activities) because I was above average in some areas and unlikely to commit arson or sneak out to screw the local lads. He'll also likely be given leadership opportunities too. Sometimes it's worth being the biggest fish. I'd also contact local universities and see what activities or programs they offer. Some Googling might throw up a range of possibilities.

Ignore those who are jealous.

Why don’t you try for a selective grammar boarding school like Habadasher Adam’s.

*The very best teachers I've come across in my long career, are in the state system8
I cannot stand this presumption that private school is better. You may have more 'contacts' but not a better education

puffalicious - I’m sure you’re right. However, if state schools are so superior, why do so many people want private schools abolished?

Ah, really, one last post. Probably because I feel uneasy about for once posting vaguely in favour of private school when I am so comfortable normally wondering why we persist in our divisive two tier system that embeds privilege! And in an ideal world all our schools would offer as much stretch to all children as they need.

But to say that my youngest is bright. She is going to storm some subjects. Everyone who knows her is frequently surprised by things she knows, says or figures out. She’ll be going to the same comp as her siblings because it’s a really solid school, she is self-motivated, and I can’t think of a thing that the local (rather lovely-looking actually) private schools would offer her that she won’t get there.

I just don’t think that there are NEVER cases for using the generous scholarships that some schools offer, given that we are not living in an ideal world.

Many people are worried about paying their energy bills, so no to the crowd funding. Also just because you get enough the first year, there's no guarantee you'll always get enough every year until he leaves. He may end up back in his old school. Private schools are full of average kids, I know a few who have either been, or are currently in one.

Also if you are really set on private school, look into bursaries at schools like Westminster. They offer full bursaries for very gifted students. It’s a tough exam by all accounts but obviously it is a very academic school that would certainly know how to challenge and bring out the best in a bright child. Though boarding school is not for everyone.

Oh I’ve enjoyed this thread 😂

He clearly is very bright, but perhaps don’t mention his confidence in McDonald’s as proof of this on any application forms. 😂

He’s doing well, he’s progressing, he’s happy, the school is happy. It sounds like it’s working. I’d look into extra curricular activities, especially music - it might be good for him to be stretched at something he doesn’t find immediately easy.

Cambridge and Oxford do summer schools for teens, it would be a good way for him to meet some of the tutors and meet other dc who have the same interests:

oxfordsummercourses.com/physics/

My BIL was like this, he was pushed so much he got sick of always being "on" and has been slowly killing his brain for the last 15 years with drugs..

Let him be a child OP and chose what he wants to do! Truly bright children will figure out how to keep themselves occupied

i came on to say something similar. I was outstandingly bright at my small state primary and won a place at a very selective private school, where I struggled to keep up academically, was poorer than all the other pupils and didn't fit in. I was miserable and underachieved. Really average/ poor GCSEs. My DD showed same promise at primary but went to local decent state school and got 10 As/A*s at GCSE. Went to uni etc. Most impostantly was happy and thrived. If I were you I would try to find some hobby groups out of school that he could join that are maybe science/academia based, if such a thing exists. He could do a lot worse than feel a little bored at school. Fwiw I have 5 yo twins and one of them is already showing signs ( teacher said she's exceptional at reading, has never seen anything like it) but I intend to send her to state school too although our finances now would allow private. My experience wasn't good.

When he is poorly, Does his mee maw sing soft kitty?

he currently has the highest points for behaviour, work ethic/effort etc by a big gap out of the whole school (1000 + students)

What are his grades like though?
What is his reading age?

I do think if he’s as different to the other students than you think he is then he would have been moved up a year already.

I get what you’re saying about doing him a disservice and I too would want to be encouraging him but if he does well socially in this school then I would leave him.
It is easier to learn academic skills but it’s not easy to learn social skills.

I work in an ARB for SEND pupils. I have a few who sound very much like your son. They are unbelievably clever and confident and know way more than me and I’m the teacher.
However they really struggle socially.
They are lovely and other students like them but kids their age want to talk about football or minecraft, not quantum physics or the atomic structure of elements or the release date and production company of any film.

If your son is excelling and he gets on well socially then obviously that school is doing well.
But if his grades start dropping or his friends start falling out with him or even if he starts getting bullied then I’d look into other schools even if they’re not private as some state schools are just as good.

Have you considered moving to Korea, finding a really competitive school and enrolling him in evening and weekend cram school too?

Although he might not be top of the class given he’d need to learn Korean.

I was outstandingly bright at my small state primary and won a place at a very selective private school, where I struggled to keep up academically, was poorer than all the other pupils and didn't fit in. I was miserable and underachieved.

There was a documentary on TV about grammar schools.
Many students struggled as they went from being a big fish in a small pond as they were the brightest in their primary school, to a small fish in a big pond as most people were higher achievers than them in grammar school and they really struggled to cope with it.

There were also parents who worked 2/3 jobs just to afford the uniform etc and the kids knew how much it meant to the parents but they just couldn’t keep up academically and was miserable.
I can imagine a private school is even worse.

Or Winchester, Radley and similar. The chancellor had a full scholarship for Winchester, the PM for Eton. Contrary to popular opinion these are not handed out on a who you know basis, the opposite in fact. Winchester is particularly geared to off the scale intelligent children.
A word of warning though. Have a long hard think about whether this is the right thing for your boy, for some children the price of 'failure' is very high and can leave them feeling utterly despondent. There is another way, there are some charitable organisations which will fund education, they are often attached to various old city guilds or ancient trusts. Have a look around and see if you can find something like that if you truly think a private education would be best for your boy but please, no crowd funding and drop the Harry Potter nonsense. Lots of children can read like that at 7, lots of them are not the super geniuses their parents think they might be, I was one of them! It left me intolerably burdened with expectations that I couldn't meet and a remaining childhood of being a disappointment. Be careful, OP.

I was that child at secondary. It's fine, and in fact, enriching, to spend time with normal level kids.

And I do apologise OP, but I think your overestimating his amazingness and his potential based on his interests. I used to do similar at that age, and it looks impressive to a (sorry!) average parent. It's just normal exploration for an intelligent child. I read Private Eye, New Scientist and stuff on robotics. I'm not a political journalist, a scientist or a robotics engineer.