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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DC is too clever for state secondary school?

481 replies

GeniusCreator · 29/04/2022 22:37

DC is Yr7. Top of year according to what I’ve been told. Read the full series of Harry Potter books by 7 years old. Excels in STEM subjects. Spends ages at home researching science stuff like quantum field theory and nuclear fusion/fission and enjoys it! Designs his own websites and writes his own code for his own games. Primary school were always pretty amazed by him. Secondary school have picked up on him now and have said they’ve never seen anything like him.

He’s already mentioning being a bit bored in class. We live in what could be described as a deprived town and are not well off, no family to help out, so would never be able to get him into a private school. I did check with the private school in the next town but there are no scholarships available.

WIBU to try to crowdfund for private school fees?

He needs a much higher level curriculum than the state school one to continue stretching him. I honestly think he’s destined for amazing things.

<only slightly light hearted>

OP posts:
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Itwasntmeright · 29/04/2022 22:39

This isn’t gonna go well OP, can I offer you a biscuit?

NightLightComfort · 29/04/2022 22:40

This reply has been deleted

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Villagewaspbyke · 29/04/2022 22:40

Lol. Harry Potter is written for kids of that age. Try to crowdfund if you like - what makes you think private will suit him better? You seem to claim he is exceptional.

PinkWisteria · 29/04/2022 22:41

🤣

Namechangeplease · 29/04/2022 22:41

I know you mention this is on the light hearted side, but I think it would be very unreasonable to crowd fund for private schools fees, sorry - it would sound like you’re taking the mickey a little!

Is a grammar school near you OP? Could your DC try and go there? It sounds like he’d do very well in any school though - he sounds very bright and switched-on. Why not just send him to state school for a term and see how he gets on?

DogDaysNeverEnd · 29/04/2022 22:41

Yabu to crowdfund, yanbu to look at other schools and scholarships.

littlemisslozza · 29/04/2022 22:42

I'm guessing you're not an an area containing selective grammars or you'd have gone down that route. Not all private schools are academic, just as some state schools are super selective. Really depends what's in your area!

Private schools round here vary from no entrance criteria to highly selective and all have an intake at 13+. If you don't think your son is in the right school (regardless of state/private) then go and look round that alternatives. 100% bursaries can be available for those who genuinely can't afford it and you don't know unless you ask.

Xmasbaby11 · 29/04/2022 22:42

He sounds very smart and talented op. I don't think crowdfunding is the answer though - you need to pay consistently, every term.

How are his teachers supporting him?
Are there schools further afield he could go to?

comealongponds · 29/04/2022 22:42

YABU

if you can’t afford private school then state school is your only option. Absolutely no reason why anyone else should pay for your child to have a private education.

Howeverdoyouneedme · 29/04/2022 22:43

No one is going to crowdfund private education. Look into scholarships.

AppleKatie · 29/04/2022 22:43

No you can’t crowd fund for your DCs education!

Harry Potter books 4-7 are age inappropriate for 7 year olds however well they read.

You want to be researching bursary’s not scholarships for independent schools.

I know you are proud and that is sweet but do try to relax you aren’t the first parent of a bright child and you won’t be the last. If he’s that bright he will be fine.

Namechangeplease · 29/04/2022 22:43

Sorry, ignore my last sentence about sending him to state school for a term - I got confused and thought he wasn’t yet secondary school age. Can you support his interest in school/learning at home to stretch him further, so he doesn’t get bored?

notanothertakeaway · 29/04/2022 22:44

I wouldn't try crowd funding, but YANBU to encourage him to flourish and achieve his potential

Coughee · 29/04/2022 22:44

Well you're entitled to crowd fund for anything really but I wouldn't contribute to one for private education. He's only in year 7 so I think you should give the school time to get their heads round planning work for him appropriately. I think most kids would describe school as boring so I wouldn't be worrying yet that he's not being catered for.

SeedyBloomer · 29/04/2022 22:44

Academic scholarships are usually something like 10% off fees, so won’t be of much use. Have you tried looking at bursaries? If that’s not an option, have him put up a year at school. It’s a bit much to suggest that state schools are beneath him! I’ve taught some astoundingly bright pupils in state schools and every teacher is absolutely rooting for them to excel and be challenged. Your post suggests those teachers won’t have a clue about ability.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/04/2022 22:45

Oh god I hope the crowd funding c9mmrnt was a joke.

You need to ask his current school what they can do to support (in the exact same way as they would have to stream their lessons for the kid at the bottom). Subjects like Maths are linear so if he has capacity to cover Y7 maths at pace, can they offer him Y8 and beyond?

Does the school run any clubs for the interests he has? Do they have sixth formers who are interested in extra curricular tutoring you could pay for outside of school to further the non curriculum stuff?

Does he do anything in a team? A sport or similar? That would round out any social drawbacks of advancing academically fast at a young age.

What about something like a debate club so he can get his teeth into ethical matters and having to be pro/against something unequivocally, even if it differs from his actual opinion?

These can all be outsourced outside of school at a much cheaper rate than private school.

Where are his weaknesses?

UmbilicusProfundus · 29/04/2022 22:46

Yeah I’m mainly here to judge you for the Harry Potter ‘brag’

godmum56 · 29/04/2022 22:46

Yanbu but yabh (hilatious)

over2021 · 29/04/2022 22:47

Biscuit LOL.

My best friend's son goes to a private school because he's not particularly academic and didn't pass his 11+. When I say not particularly academic I mean lazy, can't be arsed to write, thinks maths is a bore (no learning difficulties). Don't assume private schools are full of clever kids. A lot go to private schools because their parents know they won't get a job off their grades but might off of their connections.

Antarcticant · 29/04/2022 22:47

Would a scholarship to a private school be an option?

MissNothing1991 · 29/04/2022 22:49

Can't believe I'm even reading this tbh

DuggeeHugPlease · 29/04/2022 22:50

Who on earth would want to contribute to that? I wouldn’t pay towards school fees even for my nieces and nephews or best friends children so I really can’t see you raising anywhere near enough money

Janedoe82 · 29/04/2022 22:50

Apply to Eton or Harrow or Gordonstoun for a full scholarship

Sushi7 · 29/04/2022 22:50

YABU to expect other people to pay for your son’s education. Sorry, but lots of dc are into coding and are encouraged to learn it nowadays. Harry Potter books aren’t difficult to read for a primary school child, but the content in books 3 onwards are not appropriate for a 7 year old. If he’s bored then he needs to join some clubs - learn new skills and make new friends.

Toottooot · 29/04/2022 22:50

Oooooohhh special. 🙄