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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants me to wake sleeping baby

101 replies

Valais · 29/04/2022 15:13

We live in a building with a shared washing machine and only one weekly laundry slot, which is today (in two hours' time). Our baby is sleeping on me and DH is refusing to go and buy the laundry card from the concierge because it is my "turn". He wants me to pass the baby to him (and likely wake her) so that I can do it. I think he's being ridiculous and said no. AIBU?

OP posts:
ScruffGin · 29/04/2022 15:14

Never, ever, wake a sleeping baby! Is he usually a dick, or is this a one off...?

ShirleyPhallus · 29/04/2022 15:15

You’re both being a bit ridiculous tbh and I can see how you’ve reached this impasse in pettiness.

the baby will be fine to be passed over and likely easily rocked back if she stirs. But equally, it’s no big deal to just go and get the laundry token.

rock paper scissors on who goes and who gets to stay with the baby?

AirFireWaterEarth · 29/04/2022 15:16

He's going to give your toddler a run for her money in the petulance front in a year or two!

Tell him carrying, birthing and breastfeeding the next child will be his job because it will be "his turn" Angry.

EarringsandLipstick · 29/04/2022 15:17

I agree with Shirley this is silly from you both. You are not 5, so the idea of 'turns' is daft, but equally, it's OTT about waking the baby - they'll be fine.

I would say some version of this to him and decide who is doing what, without arguing over nothing.

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 29/04/2022 15:17

No. You can wake a sleeping baby if it's the only solution, but not because tour husband is lazy. Your baby gets to sleep on hos/her mum, and you can take an extra turn with the laundry some other time. Unless you're also the one doing all the night wakings with a young baby. In that case your husband can just go do the laundry and leave you to enjoy your sleeping child!

SoggyPaper · 29/04/2022 15:19

I know this isn’t directly related to the question, but how do you manage with a baby and a weekly washing machine slot? How? One load of washing a week?

LetitiaLeghorn · 29/04/2022 15:19

I'm with @ShirleyPhallus.

PradaOnaBudget · 29/04/2022 15:20

You are both been ridiculous but to be honest, if your baby wakes up, she'll go back to sleep if she needs it. It's mad to accustom the baby only to sleep in your arms

Lockheart · 29/04/2022 15:21

What @ShirleyPhallus said. Flip a coin.

Original poster
Valais · 29/04/2022 15:21

I'll just add that I'm trying to get the baby into a nap routine and I think if she wakes up she won't go back to sleep again. Plus, the concierge lives next door, about five yards from us.

OP posts:
Beees · 29/04/2022 15:22

Well of course you can wake a sleeping baby but only a fucking idiot would do so to prove such a stupid point. Who cares who did it last time and whose turn it technically might be. He doesn't currently have a sleeping child in him so he should go and get the card.

This level of idiocy would drive you bonkers from a toddler let alone a grown adult.

Original poster
Valais · 29/04/2022 15:24

(Not accustoming her to sleep in my arms but it's the only place shell sleep during the day so trying to deal with that by having two naps on me to make sure she's not overtired and a third in her bed, gradually increasing it to two and hopefully three. We're having success with this, which is why I'm reluctant to wake her (she has reflux, so sleep isn't easy).

OP posts:
StrangeCondition · 29/04/2022 15:26

He sounds like a lazy arse, why risk waking a baby if you don't have to, just tell him to fucking do it and you'll do it next time

ApolloandDaphne · 29/04/2022 15:26

Never mind the sleeping baby, how do you manage only doing washing once a week? How long do you get and how many loads can you get done? What happens if you have something on during your slot?

Original poster
Valais · 29/04/2022 15:27

SoggyPaper · 29/04/2022 15:19

I know this isn’t directly related to the question, but how do you manage with a baby and a weekly washing machine slot? How? One load of washing a week?

I know. It's crazy. We manage with plenty of clothes and handwash!

OP posts:
ChuckMater · 29/04/2022 15:27

SoggyPaper · 29/04/2022 15:19

I know this isn’t directly related to the question, but how do you manage with a baby and a weekly washing machine slot? How? One load of washing a week?

I assume the slot allows for multiple loads of washing but still, washing once a week must take some planning.

Original poster
Valais · 29/04/2022 15:28

ApolloandDaphne · 29/04/2022 15:26

Never mind the sleeping baby, how do you manage only doing washing once a week? How long do you get and how many loads can you get done? What happens if you have something on during your slot?

We get four hours and can do up to eight loads. We can ask a neighbour to share a slot but usually just handwash if needed.

OP posts:
SoggyPaper · 29/04/2022 15:29

Valais · 29/04/2022 15:28

We get four hours and can do up to eight loads. We can ask a neighbour to share a slot but usually just handwash if needed.

Show quote history

I couldn’t cope with the levels of organisation and planning involved. You clearly have better skills than me!

Squiff70 · 29/04/2022 15:36

FFS! This pathetic manchild needs a good talking to. Getting the token and sorting the laundry will take minutes out of his day. It's like you've asked him to move the building 6ft to the left. If he can't do one, brief, simple task to help you as a family then frankly you're screwed if you expect this last arse of a man to help you with child-rearing for the next 18+ years.

opensunflower · 29/04/2022 15:37

Stick baby in a sling

billy1966 · 29/04/2022 15:44

What a twat with his turns🙄.

How do these losers get women to procreate with them.

How have you not got the Ick?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 29/04/2022 15:51

Could you not have waited until just before your slot to get your card - or handed him a crying baby and disappeared off to the shops/park/anywhere else afterwards to get some peace and quiet?

RandomQuest · 29/04/2022 15:52

This whole situation is ridiculous. The idea of taking turns is completely daft, surely it should just be who is best placed to do it that day. He sounds like a toddler. And as for the one slot a week of laundry, what a stupid idea. When my DD was a baby we had a shared basement laundry room but could use it whenever we wanted and the machines were first come, first served. How does that even work with a reflux baby? Keep stinking sicky clothes in the flat for a week?! 🤢

miltonj · 29/04/2022 15:54

ShirleyPhallus · 29/04/2022 15:15

You’re both being a bit ridiculous tbh and I can see how you’ve reached this impasse in pettiness.

the baby will be fine to be passed over and likely easily rocked back if she stirs. But equally, it’s no big deal to just go and get the laundry token.

rock paper scissors on who goes and who gets to stay with the baby?

A lot of babies don't do that!

Cakecakecheese · 29/04/2022 15:56

I had an ex who was obsessed with 'turns'. Yes sure you don't want one person doing everything but when it's just easier for one person to do the thing then that person does the thing!