Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants me to wake sleeping baby

101 replies

Valais · 29/04/2022 15:13

We live in a building with a shared washing machine and only one weekly laundry slot, which is today (in two hours' time). Our baby is sleeping on me and DH is refusing to go and buy the laundry card from the concierge because it is my "turn". He wants me to pass the baby to him (and likely wake her) so that I can do it. I think he's being ridiculous and said no. AIBU?

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/04/2022 15:59

Does he view everything he does at home as transactional? I can't imagine any non petty person suddenly pulling this shit on their partner who is holding their baby. This has to be indicative of how he usually is.

DolphinaPD · 29/04/2022 16:04

Flowers for you op. You've married a pedantic arse 😔

I couldn't live with this nonsense.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/04/2022 16:05

Your husband is a total man child, and the baby part of this story is irrelevant. He can't fucking go get a laundry card? FFS. I despair at what some women are willing to tolerate, and I guarantee this isn't the only thing he's an utter twat about.

Goldfishjones · 29/04/2022 16:06

Well obviously he is being unreasonable but if the baby wakes then he will be responsible for the baby until he/she goes back to sleep won't he? So seems like you could get a few hours of baby free time out of this.

Except that means leaving the house to avoid the crying. Not relaxing.

And if you're breastfeeding it won't work.

Your DH is a child.

DaisyQuakeJohnson · 29/04/2022 16:07

If it's so close, can't you just nip over with the baby in your arms? not that you should have to but as a PP said, you're both being petty about this.

TheFlis12345 · 29/04/2022 16:08

Give him the baby, go get the laundry card and then go for a nice long walk, leaving him to settle the baby. He won’t do it again.

BlueOverYellow · 29/04/2022 16:13

Wake the baby! On purpose! Hand the baby to him and disappear on your own to do the laundry without both of them (take a book). He'll soon realise his mistake when he's forced to care for a cranky, over tired baby who won't go back to sleep.

GirlSYML · 29/04/2022 16:13

YABU for having a baby with this petty loser.

Butteryflakycrust83 · 29/04/2022 16:13

Congratulations having TWO babies!

WoodenClock · 29/04/2022 16:13

The baby will be fine, but I can't imagine a life where you argue over whose turn it is to do a very small routine task.

clairemaddox · 29/04/2022 16:14

A ring sling could help you. You can then do anything while the baby sleeps on you.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/04/2022 16:16

WoodenClock · 29/04/2022 16:13

The baby will be fine, but I can't imagine a life where you argue over whose turn it is to do a very small routine task.

I'd hazard a guess that he is usually like this so her response is symptomatic of living with a petty partner.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 29/04/2022 16:19

Our baby is sleeping on me and DH is refusing to go and buy the laundry card from the concierge because it is my "turn".

God what a fucking prick.

If he wants to do everything based on 'turns' then tot up your pregnancy symptoms and birth experience and ask him how exactly he plans on balancing the books when it comes to those.

He can't. Because you're two separate individuals who are meant to be working as a team.

You, presumably, understand that means everything isn't directly transactional / equal. And that being an adult means working with the situation together rather than doing stupid shit like waking a happily sleeping baby to prove a point or avoid a chore.

He needs to grow up, he sounds like such an arsehole. Dread to think what he's like about finances.

clairemaddox · 29/04/2022 16:20

BlueOverYellow · 29/04/2022 16:13

Wake the baby! On purpose! Hand the baby to him and disappear on your own to do the laundry without both of them (take a book). He'll soon realise his mistake when he's forced to care for a cranky, over tired baby who won't go back to sleep.

Yeah but then your baby's upset, which is horrible.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 29/04/2022 16:20

clairemaddox · 29/04/2022 16:14

A ring sling could help you. You can then do anything while the baby sleeps on you.

Do NOT buy one of these. You'll never get Lazy Arse to do any more than his 'fair share' of anything.

He needs to lose that concept and grow up! He is an adult, a father now!

worraliberty · 29/04/2022 16:21

Just gently pass him the baby and if she wake, he can rock her back to sleep 🤷‍♀️

stuntbubbles · 29/04/2022 16:21

Ahahaha, laundry turns. Tell him it’s his turn for an episiotomy. What a knobber.

Midlifemusings · 29/04/2022 16:22

Who is into the idea of turns? Who came up with each person being tied to a week as their turn?

Apricote · 29/04/2022 16:27

the baby will be fine to be passed over and likely easily rocked back if she stirs

Hahahaha.
Not my baby.
The house would have to be on fire before I voluntarily woke him from any sleep at all.

Apricote · 29/04/2022 16:29

And he wouldn't go in a sling either. I tried so many kinds. Some babies don't. Some babies don't go back to sleep easily when woken.

Ihatethenewlook · 29/04/2022 16:36

Midlifemusings · 29/04/2022 16:22

Who is into the idea of turns? Who came up with each person being tied to a week as their turn?

This. What a shit way to conduct a relationship. I’m all for making sure everyone’s pulling their weight, but surely that means anyone who’s free does whatever job that needs doing at that time? If someone’s spent the whole day run off their feet, and then has to come home and do chores while the other person is sat on their arse just because they did it last time, how is that fair?

Wnikat · 29/04/2022 16:44

Why is your husband such a dick that he won't walk 5 yards to do something you both need because it's your "turn". Fucking hell.

Clymene · 29/04/2022 16:52

What a petty knob your husband is. Is he scared of talking to strangers or something?

I'm guessing you're in Switzerland?

LuckySantangelo35 · 29/04/2022 16:58

The baby won’t die if they’re woken up. Don’t be precious.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/04/2022 16:59

LuckySantangelo35 · 29/04/2022 16:58

The baby won’t die if they’re woken up. Don’t be precious.

And the man won't die walking next door to buy a laundry token