how much time does your DH spend with DC and what do they do with them

[ImInDebt]

Im really struggling - I don't know if it's me that's expecting too much from DH but I would like him to spend time with the kids. I don't mean just him giving them the tablets and screens whilst he goes on his laptop himself which is what he does when I'm not there. I mean playing with them / hanging out with / going out with them. Im not even asking for every single day or anything but just a couple of times a month or so.

Also how often do they talk to the kids. My husband very very rarely has conversations with them. It's me that talks to them about the world / news / life etc. I feel DH just doesn't teach them about anything. Kids are 9 &11.

When I speak to Dh about my concerns he just says that's not what he does and by asking him to be something else is rejecting who he is or something.

My dad was like your dh. I love him anyway, he's a kind man. He just likes to read and be left alone. I don't know how mum put up with him but as kids we kind of accepted that dad would be there but reading under a tree or taking a nap. He gave us stability, was always gentle with my mother and us.

I however sought a different type of man to father my kids. He's veri involved with them. Mostly active stuff: sailing, mountain biking, swimming, snorkeling, runs, board games, homework. All of it. More so than me, as currently he is primary carer.

I do all the 'emotional' conversations as pp said. And I spend time with them playing games, watching tv, biking and their hobbies.

They get too much interaction with their parents tbh. Can be a bit demanding of attention compared to other kids.