To not put money in work collection?

[Plantpot45]

Honestly there are about 2 or 3 per month with people leaving going on maternity leave retiring etc. The going rate is a tenner. If it is someone I know well and work closely with I always put money in but this current person I’ve never even met face to face. Only via messaging and on virtual meetings. I wouldn’t know her if I saw her in the street! So why everyone is putting the pressure on to contribute? Problem is most of my other colleagues do know her, and so it’s more what they will think if I don’t contribute? I’ll be honest, I also really can’t afford it at the moment so find it hard to justify to my husband who puts in the lions share of the money in our house. So Aibu?

Other have complained as per second post?

My boss just expenses it!

She says it’s the company gifting and not individuals

OP I kind of get your point. An expectation of £10 even for minor events like a normal birthday is way too much and silly. It is better if an account is set up so donations can be made privately, if people are working remotely so the old fashioned envelope and card passed around doesn't work.

However, I think it's perfectly normal for people to set up this stuff when a long-standing member of staff leaves or gets married or has a baby. Or in sadder situations where they should know colleagues care for them. And people should be able to give what they can afford to those collections anonymously.

I think that only people who want an present when the leave or go on maternity leave should have to contribute.

Everyone else doesn't have to and won't get a present.

This seems rather joyless. I think the whole chuck in a pound or two thing is fine, surely? If you're really broke you can just sign the card. But to not want to recognise big life events for colleagues at all seems a bit rubbish.

Worked in a team of about 40 but with links to another smaller team . Lots of collections and I always gave generously. It sometimes seemed a bit much , for example collecting for someone who had just started and was off sick a lot and forgetting ( although that was rectified ) a long term , very quiet person who had become ill and retired without returning to the office. Just before I left there were 3 baby showers , an engagement and 2 leavers in a few weeks .

i found it expensive sometimes but always gave. We then took on an agency member of staff who I had known years ago. They were very brash and bullying and management were obliged to let them go . A manager was very insistent that we all give to a collection and tried to shame those who wouldn’t . After being publicity asked 3 times I refused. I said I wished this person well but will not be giving . Afterwards a couple of people said they wished they had stood their ground and refused but had felt intimidated.

All our collections are now virtual.

I rarely bother in a big company, I give a small amount in my immediate team. Can't afford it.

We are a small team and everybody earns double my wage. I'm part time too.
There are so many collections, bank transfer, by my boss' PA. Last one was a gift for my boss for winning an award. £10 each.
I'm sick of it. Because we are a small team, £10 is expected to buy a decent gift.
Also, the charity events are too much now. £10 for somebody to do their favourite hobby, i.e. running, for a charity of their choice.

They are banned where I work. If someone has been through a very tragic event, such a colleague whose husband recently died at a young age, then the company will send flowers as a gesture from all of us. But collections being passed around are not permitted. I prefer it that way.

Don't you have a work social club? In the last two places I've worked the social club paid for all staff presents out of the weekly fee staff paid to the club. If someone wasn't in the social club they either paid some money towards the gifts or they didn't - no pressure,

We have a fund. You only pay 10 quid a year, and there is a list of what gets you a present. Wedding, round birthday, baby etc. You only get a present if youve paid in.

That does sound a bit mechanical, though.

We had a birthday club one place where I worked - everybody put a fiver into an envelope and ticked off their name. I'll never forget the time when somebody put in a counterfeit fiver (a very good forgery - not immediately obvious).

I'll never know if the person it came from gave it in good faith or if they were silently chuckling at their wheeze - maybe they'd made it saved it specifically for that; or maybe it was a MN-type PA alternative to just saying "I don't want to participate in the birthday club anymore, thanks except when it comes to my turn to get a payout" ?!

We just passed a large envelope around and the amount was left to the individual to decide. We had one person who was notoriously tight and very secretive. Most of us would just drop our contribution in but she secreted her contribution in a closed fist then put her hand right in the envelope, rummaged a bit and then out would come the closed first- we were convinced that she wasn't leaving any money in there (and some people thought she was removing money). Someone once counted the amount before and after the tight colleague did her act and she had actually contributed.....a whole penny!!!

We're all remote and usually office management send a mail, with a paypal link and that's it. Usually i bung €5 in unless i know the person very well.
We only do "round" birthdays and births and marriages though.

£10 is too much. If you are constantly getting collections then this is quite a big group of people. If everyone contributes then it's going to be a silly amount of money. A leaving gift is normally in double figures in my book. If you can face it a work conversation about changing norms might be good...

We had this at my workplace. It was more than that though, I think £30 a year. I took part until the fuckers forgot my 30th birthday. I had my money back out of the pot and stopped organising anything for anyone else. Lots of people with their arse in their hands as they expected me to continue celebrating their birthday and buying their gifts. Erm. Fuck off.

Nope. Just say “oh I’m doing my own thing”. Then either give person a card or nothing.

£10 That's ridiculous! How big is the company? No way would I put in that amount.

I worked as a midday supervisor in a school once and was asked to contribute to a colleague's gift for her first grandchild. I kid you not. 😆 I was told that's what we do here. We were counting the pennies at the time and I didn't contribute and the organiser pretty much cold shouldered me after that.

Then when I left I didn't even get a card! 😆

This. Or just say you don't know the person well enough. End of.

ask them which child they would like you not to feed this week...

Just ignore it , put all the cash you would have given in a jar then treat yourselves at the end of the year
money is too tight at the moment , a card is enough

We had one person who was notoriously tight and very secretive. Most of us would just drop our contribution in but she secreted her contribution in a closed fist then put her hand right in the envelope, rummaged a bit and then out would come the closed first- we were convinced that she wasn't leaving any money in there (and some people thought she was removing money).

Reminds me of the old one about the minister speaking in a church in a very rough area. He took up an offering and, ever the optimist, thanked the congregation for safely returning his hat (albeit empty).

I’d decline. Wouldn’t care what people would think, though.