AIBU fed up of my business being repeated constantly by friend!

[FGSnotagain22]

I have a friend who is known to gossip about everyone.
I'm very very careful in what I say to her as she has no filter and just repeats everyone's business I'm not sure if it's just to have something to talk about or if it's done on purpose. Who knows.

I told her something not overly personal regarding my DD and expected her not to repeat as it was about my DD and she's only gone and told other people and potentially causing me and my DD problems in the future. I'm not saying what it is as its outing.

AIBU to be fed up of this behaviour? I can handle my business being repeated but my DDs business isn't fair game to gossip about. how do you deal with these type of people? Should I just give her a wide birth from now on?

Oh come on. This was just a normal conversation

G: Is your DD going to X's sleepover next week?

OP: No, she's not been invited

It's hardly the sort of conversation that one would consider gossip, or to expect nose poking action to come from it.

I had a colleague who was hugely gossipy, so I rarely shared anything of note with her. But you can't just refuse to answer every single conversational question. Who'd have expected her to go to the other mum and 'sort it out'? If OP had foreseen that, of course she would't have answered.

Thank you @saraclara! Someone who sees sense.

I've told the CF I'm annoyed about her going round trying to shit stir and so far haven't had a reply but she has read it.

Because she told me she had spoken to them about DD not being invited.

If you know the other mother well enough, I'd let her know that you're really appalled that gossipy woman went to her. Say that you had no idea why she would do so as you had no problem at all with DD not being invited, and indeed she wouldn't be able to go anyway. Say that you're mortified and just want to put the record straight.

Yep, this is malicious meddling, and knowingly so. Bin this untrustworthy non-friend and tell her exactly why.

It’s the shit stirring reflex that is germane, taking a neutral comment & running it ragged with other people.

Until people in that circle catch on to the disruptor’s habitual meddling, lots of time & good will is lost in a group. We have one such aggravating numpty in our group, it takes time (& some tears) before people suss what’s going on.

So, I understand’s @FGSnotagain22 point about the content of the comments relayed being not that much, a small pebble thrown in to a pond but the ripples tangle stuff up later on. Also thoughtless to meddle when kids are involved, they are not seasoned or mature actors in these matters.

OP,

You obviously will only do what is comfortable for you, but there is no way I would let that rest.

I would also be telling the mother that you have absolutely NO idea why she would tell such a complete lie as your daughter was unable to attend.

Kindly OP, you are very silly if you have anything further to do with her.

I would be dropping her promptly and dropping her in it with other parents.

However, you knew what she was like, surely it was only a matter of time before something like this happened.

I would take a permanent step back. It’s all very well people saying ‘If you know she repeats things to others, why tell her?’, but she’s actually inventing gossip out of nothing. She turned a factual response of ‘No, she hasn’t been invited’ into your daughter being desperately upset about not being invited. Who knows when she’ll turn something else equally incongruous into a drama?

90% of people I know only know what's needed or at least they know different parts of what's what, their is one good friend who knows some more of my habits and preferences, but does not know other details, basically it's better in my views to compartmentalize all information, and only when it's required, do people learn x or x, some times im not perfect but I try to make sure if it's any secrets they leak, then it's nothing too important.

Oh this would really annoy me. She’s trying to make a drama out of nothing, not caring or possibly wanting it to look like you’re the one who’s making a fuss. She needs to get a life, preferably one that you doesn’t include you in it.