to send money to a Moroccan taxi driver

[Autumnterm]

Back in 2018 I went to Marrakech on holiday with my son. I can’t remember exactly how but I ended up getting the phone number of a friendly local taxi driver who took us from A to B several times. When we went back the following year we used him for our airport transfers both ways.

Since Feb 2020 we haven’t travelled abroad anywhere but I would occasionally get a text from him saying hello or how are you, to which I would respond hello/salaam/labas and that was that. I didn’t think much about it except that he was checking in just in case I was headed to Morocco and was tempted to use another taxi driver....and I did at one point recommend him to a relative going there but their trip was recently cancelled due to COVID.

Anyway cut forward to this week. He texted again and said hello my dear friend how are you and your family, and I responded as usual.

But this time he went on to say that life is hard for him, he has had no work due to the collapse in tourism and as a result he cannot pay for his kids to go to school. He sent me a picture of them - a boy and a girl, they look to be about 3 and 5 years old so I presume he means nursery school.

Stupidly (maybe) I asked how much was school and he said €90.

He has since sent me several texts asking if i will help pay for his kids to go to school. His English is not perfect but it sounds like he wants €30 a month for three months and he says in return if/when we go back he will drive us anywhere we want.

On one hand I know that Marrakech is one of the scam cities of the universe (lots of the people who run investment scams targeting UK pensioners are actually based there). I have no way of knowing if the kids in the photo he has sent me are really his and if there really is a charge to go to school and if he really has no work.

On the other hand €30 is affordable for me and I genuinely do feel sorry for people who rely on tourist revenue who have had a very hard time of it over the last two years. Morocco is open for tourists now but it was locked down for the whole 2020 season and some of 2021.

Would I BU to send him some €?

Even if he were just being cheeky and trying it on, and his financial situation is actually fine (highly unlikely) and he actually wants the money for some new trainers, that STILL doesn't make him a scammer. That's not what scamming is

Yes. God forbid that someone may just want a new pair of trainers.

@Enough4me

The link you posted is all about ‘true’ scams though. People pretending to be your bank, and investment opportunity that’s too good to be true, phishing schemes, etc.

An acquaintance asking you for money, when you can’t really be sure if the reason they provide is legitimate, is really quite different.

Don't do it op

Someone who keeps in contact with rich westerners to build relationships and ask for money... ah this must be legitimate, it's not like it's a known form of scamming.

This seems to have descended into a discussion over what is a scam.

Clearly there are different types, whether it's a taxi driver contacting old fares, or someone using the internet or mobile phone asking you to log-in to something so they obtain your bank details, or knocking at the door of an old person.

All they have in common is the aim of extracting money for themselves for a reason that may or may not be genuine or not providing the goods or services they promise you.

What this taxi driver is doing is begging. It may be a 'scam' in so much as he's fine, financially, and just wants to top up his income.

Beggars exist all over the world. In big cities they work in gangs, sitting on the pavements with signs saying they are hungry.

Some are genuine, others aren't.

It's up to each of us to make our choice who to help.

This man is begging. He may have created a fictitious reason for wanting the money hence it becomes a scam.

If the OP wants to give him £80-ish, fair enough but she does so knowing he may be doing the same to many women and his reasons for wanting it may be lies.

@BrownStripePJ

Yep. Wasn’t easy. While in my experience, scammers usually make it as easy as possible for you to hand over money. They know exactly what to do, they have transfer/bank account details all ready, they know the location of their nearest Western Union, they keep checking to see if you’ve sent the money. None of that in this case.

But anyway, got it done eventually, he says he went straight round to pay their school money and they are starting back there today. Hopefully there will be a bit left for an Eid feast as well.

I believe gullible has been removed from the dictionary

So what happens when the 3 months are up @Autumnterm ?

Back to you again for money?

I can't believe you fell for this.

OP - I'm sure you will get a lovely photo of the family at the Eid feast.

Followed at some stage by more texts, increasingly familiar. Like you are now 'family'...
and that comes with obligations. You'll be tapped again, i reckon.

You say you will just 'block him' at the point he becomes a nuisance, but you already feel some obligation to him and his kids. Hence the 100E.

Do you think you'll be able to block him, when you are a bit/lot more drawn in?

That's a lovely gesture, OP. I've been sending money for years to friends and acquaintances to pay for education, books, medical care overseas, etc and I've got so much pleasure out of seeing children grow up and people returning the kindness when I go to visit. I've never felt like I've been scammed and I hope you get the same enjoyment.

You just say no, you don't have anything to give. It really is that simple. No feelings of obligation.

This thread has been illuminating, and not in an uplifting way... such a lot if hostility over someone wondering whether to help another person.

Of course it's possible this is a scam but seems unlikely - and irrelevant anyway as OP happy to help and can afford to take the chance.

I hope it helps him OP. I'm glad you stepped up.

I am quite capable of saying no if he comes back asking for more. I am not going to be in Chat or Take a Break - not for this reason anyway.

You were quite capable of saying no the first time he asked you for money. But you didn't.

And why do you seem to think the fact that he seemed offended when you questioned him was a sign he was genuine? Scammers usually act offended if they're questioned. (Honestly, I manage a charity shop and we get people who buy a designer handbag from us and come back a few weeks later with the receipt claiming they bought a falling apart Primark bag from us for £25 and they want a refund. They are always hugely offended at being accused of lying when I tell them that is not the bag I sold them.)

Well, I hope for your sake that he is genuine, or that he at least doesn't ask you for money again.

@TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot

You were quite capable of saying no the first time he asked you for money. But you didn't.

Why should she have said no the first time if she didn't want to? Because you said so?

OP sounds intelligent to me, she doesn't need to be patronised by people here.

@Autumnterm I'm so glad you sent him the money, OP. I think that you did the right thing based on what you already knew of him and your subsequent research. I would have done the same . The children's book Wonder talks about being "kinder than necessary". It's a good rule for life if you're lucky enough to be in a position to be both kind and generous. And even if we can't all be generous materially, we can be generous emotionally.

And if you wouldn't do something like this that's up to you -- it doesn't make the OP wrong or mistaken for choosing a different approach.

@Indicatrice

I'm not saying she should or should not have done anything. She's made her choice, and if he contacts her again she may have to make a choice again.

It's entirely up to her, not me or anyone else on Mumsnet. I just hope she doesn't come to regret any of her choices.

The children's book Wonder talks about being "kinder than necessary". It's a good rule for life if you're lucky enough to be in a position to be both kind and generous

You say this as if those of us who would not send this man money are not kind or generous. I am generous to a fault and I am kind to every single person I meet. I often give more than I should, the fact that I would not give in this instance does not take away from that.

@TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot

You were quite capable of saying no the first time he asked you for money. But you didn't.

I think as an adult who earns my own money (and is already a significant net contributor to the state and society) I have the right to decide if I want to give a financial gift to someone and I have the right to make a different decision in the future, should my feelings or circumstances change.

Let’s be clear - again:
This is not a loan. There are no conditions. I don’t want to be paid back. If he wants to send me a photo of himself and his kids having their feast on Monday, great, but I won’t be sobbing on daytime TV if he doesn’t.

I don't think a single person has said that someone would be a bad person by not sending this guy money. I think that's a totally reasonable stance. The issue is with people calling OP and anyone who agrees with her gullible and stupid, and with projecting their own fear of the world onto other people.

Actually the comment of mine you have quoted has nothing to do with this. I replied to a poster who talked about being 'kinder than necessary' which has nothing to do with people calling OP gullible. My point was that you can be kind and generous whilst also not giving money in this situation. That's all.

@crackingreward I'm really sorry you read my comment that way. That's not at all how it was intended. In my original comment I said "even if we can't all be generous materially, we can be generous emotionally" and by that I meant that you don't have to give money to someone to be generous. You can be generous in your judgements of people and what they choose to do.

When I used the 'kinder than necessary' quote, I was responding to the negative judgements of OP and her decision to give. I'm sorry I wasn't clearer.

I am sure that many on this thread are enormously generous, including yourself, whether or not they would have chosen to send the money.

This is a bit of an odd thread, in that the OP, you do sound very determined and quite tough but also remarkably involved with this man whom you barely know. I couldn't help noticing that you like to show that you are quite knowledgeable about his culture and so on.

But what struck me as odd from the outset is where your boundaries lie. I've been contacted by men (its always men contacting women, isn't it?...) from giving my email or social media details for things like buying digital photos when visiting sites on holiday.

Never once I have been tempted to keep in touch with them or have a dialogue with them, just the same as I wouldn't with any stranger who randomly contacted me in this country. Unless you have a genuine romantic interest in them (be wary there to!) theres no point, as its no basis for a genuine friendship.

Why you would need to remain personal contact by text in case you needed to use a particular taxi driver again in a foreign country is a bit of a mystery, almost as much as is his promise to drive you about for free should you return (how would that work? Who would pay for his fuel? Would you be taken to meet his friends perhaps, whose goods you would pay for?)

In short, this is all a really bad idea but you have very "different" boundary placement boundaries to allow this dialogue to start up in the first place. Whether its genuine or not, its a nice little money maker for him and he probably has a large number of people like you on the go.

In general, I don't think this thread is particularly healthy, as there are a lot of gullible people out there, usually women, brought up to be kind and think the best of people and basically give away their money.

I very much doubt that this is the last request for money you will receive from this man but I'm even more puzzled as to why you posted when you had already made up your mind to send it. Its almost like its an advert written by a bunch of scammers to convince women in the UK to part with their money, and hey look! Heres an example of one who is happy to do it for you all to follow!

Plenty of people give money to charity or worthwhile causes without posting about in on social media.

I couldn't help noticing that you like to show that you are quite knowledgeable about his culture and so on.
What a bizarre comment, especially as the OP hasn’t really done that. On the contrary, she was asking others for cultural insight into schools there. The OP hasn’t really contributed much,
in respect of Moroccan culture, other than confirming that the Euro is quite widely used there (when others saw that as a red flag).