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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Invited on a ladies only holiday. Too much hassle?

54 replies

sardinessquashed · 25/04/2022 14:14

Long story short..
We were due to go during Covid but it was cancelled.
It's a few days in a sunny resort.
My kids dad won't help me out with minding them.
They are 18/14/12.
I'm dying to go. I am tired and my sister has offered to help out during day eg bring my youngest two on activities with their family and my partner of nearly two years has offered to stay at night to ensure the children's safety .
The children will be on summer holidays.
Eldest will be working.
Second child is happy to hang out with friends but youngest needs security and structure.
I'd love to go but wonder if it's selfish of me and just too much hassle.
I'm wrecked from life generally.
It would be such a lovely rest and a chance to rediscover who I am after a horrid few years .

OP posts:
tendence · 25/04/2022 14:21

You should definitely do all you can to go. This is a few days - not even a week. Your children are big enough to handle this: the youngest will be secure enough with an aunt caring for him in the daytime and a known person overnight. Talk to them beforehand, prepare something 'exciting' for them one of the evenings (the younger two at least). Maybe ask the 18-year old to provide extra support for a few days? They might well understand how important this is to you.

I can't see why you would not go. It's definitely not selfish. Do it!

Clangyleg · 25/04/2022 14:38

Yes go for it… it will be a good occasion if it is really for women only.

Smartiepants79 · 25/04/2022 14:43

It is definitely NOT selfish.
Your kids will be fine. The youngest is with people they know and it’s only a few days. I know that if I had a serious, grown up chat with my kids and explained how much I needed a rest, they would support me to go.
GO GO GO.
and I’m sorry their fathers such a dick!

rookiemere · 25/04/2022 14:46

Goodness no why wouldn't you go .

Viviennemary · 25/04/2022 14:51

Under those circumstances you absolutely should go.

gogohm · 25/04/2022 15:05

Go, the your eldest is an adult, your youngest with a bit of supervision from her aunt will be just fine

nearlyspringyay · 25/04/2022 15:07

It's a few days, of course you should go.

MajorCarolDanvers · 25/04/2022 15:09

Absolutely go. Not selfish at all

heartofgrass · 25/04/2022 15:11

Go.

RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 25/04/2022 15:17

100% go! Enjoy!

Notonthestairs · 25/04/2022 15:21

So you sister will be around for the 12 & 14 year old during the day and your partner will be there over night.

Do you kids get on ok with their aunt & cousins? What about your partner? Does your partner live with you already?

If you can make it work then you absolutely should go. It will be hassle - because you'll try and cover every conceivable base possible Smile - but it would be worth it. Do it.

CrowAndArrow · 25/04/2022 15:23

Absolutely go.

LetitiaLeghorn · 25/04/2022 15:27

Your 18 yr old is an adult.
Your 14 yo should be fine being on their own during the day if they want.
Your sister will have your 12yo.
Your partner will stay overnight.

Pack your bags, girl, and have a great time!

Clymene · 25/04/2022 15:29

Go! Have a wonderful time

HiJenny35 · 25/04/2022 15:30

It's really not as easy as saying you should go, it really depends on how you feel, you say the 12 year old needs security and structure do they need more than the average 12 year old? Are you going to be able to switch off and enjoy your time or will you be worrying? Does your partner normally stay? Are your children happy to stay with him overnight?

Clymene · 25/04/2022 15:30

Go! Have a wonderful time

dumdumduuuummmmm · 25/04/2022 15:57

It's a few days and your youngest is 12. Why is this even a discussion. Go

LuckySantangelo35 · 25/04/2022 16:04

HiJenny35 · 25/04/2022 15:30

It's really not as easy as saying you should go, it really depends on how you feel, you say the 12 year old needs security and structure do they need more than the average 12 year old? Are you going to be able to switch off and enjoy your time or will you be worrying? Does your partner normally stay? Are your children happy to stay with him overnight?

@HiJenny35

its a couple of days with a decent plan in place- come on!

Kids will be fine, op will be fine - more than fine in fact, she’ll have a cracking time!

Oblomov22 · 25/04/2022 16:09

Why would you not? What exactly is the issue?

Honeypickle · 25/04/2022 16:11

Go!

Irishfarmer · 25/04/2022 16:16

I'd say go! Your sister and partner are stepping in to help, they know you and must think you deserve a break.

It's not like they are small, they will be fine.

maddiemookins16mum · 25/04/2022 16:19

Have a great time 😎

OatmilkandCookies · 25/04/2022 16:25

HiJenny35 · 25/04/2022 15:30

It's really not as easy as saying you should go, it really depends on how you feel, you say the 12 year old needs security and structure do they need more than the average 12 year old? Are you going to be able to switch off and enjoy your time or will you be worrying? Does your partner normally stay? Are your children happy to stay with him overnight?

If it was six weeks, maybe this would be an issue.
It's a few days in the sun- go!!
Your kids will be happy to see you refreshed and de-stressed

mycatisannoying · 25/04/2022 16:28

GOOOOOOOOO!!!

MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 25/04/2022 16:30

It's not too much hassle. Turning off mum guilt is hard, but being an exhausted martyr helps no one. Go go go!!

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