To think I just need to live in a messy dirty house?

[Ohsoworried]

I'm a lone parent to a 3yo. I work 5 days a week and he's in nursery, pick him up at 6, come home, get him bathed, snack, stories, cuddles. he's in bed at 8. I get a few bits done, laundry, surfaces wiped, Sweep etc. But I just don't have enough time to get any sort of decent cleaning done. Weekends he has clubs and again, I get a few bits done but I really need to spend time with my son and actually have a bit of time to relax otherwise my whole life would literally be mum duties and cleaning. It's starting to get me down. I'm mog lazy, I'm super productive, but I just don't have time. Does anyone else have the same issue?

Have a look at the Organised Mum method

Saved my niece's sanity

I have but I still don't have time for it. It required so many tasks each day.

If there's just you and a 3 yo, and you're both out of the house most of the time, surely it can't be getting that messy that you need to spend all of your time cleaning and tidying?

Yep lower your standards. Do 15mins in the morning to get any laundry on, 30-60mins once he's in bed to cover key areas (dishes, kitchen worktops, quick hoover etc). I would do dishes and then basically choose a diff room each evening to do about 30mins.

Have you seen what a 3yo can do in 5 mins? His room gets trashed in 10 mins and we tidy it together but it takes ages. There's laundry, surfaces, food mess, mud mess, vacuuming, dirty skirting, dusting (we have wooden floors and the dust is immense), changing bed sheets, dishes, then tasks that need doing every so often like cleaning the fridge, mopping, wiping windows, sweeping leaves etc.

Yes I have this issue too. Single parent to 4 the only place they go is school, I need to go a big clean and sort out not just cleaning the surfaces but I just never find the time. They are at home all weekends and holidays and I find it difficult to get things done when they are around. I’m going to try to just do it as one room at a time.

I find that with my kids as well, I clean when they are at school but by the time they get home it’s a tip again so have to clean it all again and it’s just a cycle that I never get time to do a proper big clean.

If you can, hire a cleaner. I have one who comes once a fortnight and it has helped sooooo much

Messy is fine, dirty is not.

Have you considered a robot hoover? I love mine. I’m incredibly messy. But at least I clear the floors so my little pal does his job while I’m out/in bed. I got a cheap Vileda one from Lidl. £80-odd and I love it. One of my favourite gadgets. Number one I’d say is the dishwasher ❤️ Do you have room for a dishwasher? Another game-changer ❤️🙂

The only time my house is clean is when the children are in school. Mid terms and summer holidays are a nightmare because I could be constantly cleaning but the house never looks tidy.

I've come to accept I won't have a show room home until they've grown up. Until then I'll have to learn to be happy with "good enough".

You're not alone OP.

It's not disgusting, but I don't have time to mop floors, clean toilets, wipe sinks, clean the bath and shower, clean the fridge etc etc all the time...

I feel the same . It takes all my time to keep on top of the basics and I feel I never have time to clean as deeply as I would want . Can’t afford a cleaner .

I think you need to teach your child not to "trash" his room.

Beds are easy, whip them in the washer first thing saturday before you ship your kid off to his clubs, and then put a clean set on when you get home.

Fridge is fine to do once a month, ditto windows (or get a window cleaner) and I'm not even sure why you're sweeping leaves 🤔

I think you're probably over thinking it, making a rod for your own back by creating daily/weekly jobs that dont need to be done that often.

You need to relax more. If DS doesnt get bathed every night, so what. He then gets into bed by 7.30pm and you gained yourself 30 mins to relax after work.

I have 3 kids and work full time and so I know it can be manic. But you also have to make decisions about what is actually important, and I'd wager dusty skirting boards arent at the top of most peoples to do lists.

Different people have different energy levels and levels of acceptable mess.

If you feel you need down time from your job and want to spend time with your child, then that’s up to you.

So yes, you may have to accept a messy house for now. It won’t always be this way.

A couple of things that work for me. I imagine someone is coming around to my house in 15 mins, and do a fast tidy - surface only. The other thing is Put it Away, don’t Put it Down.

However this week my husband is away, and I’ve had a really bad week and I’ve let my house get a mess.

You can't do everything, OP! I've been there, and think you are absolutely doing the right thing to prioritise having some fun and relaxation. It WILL get easier as he gets older. Hang on in there!

I'm sorry to say it but I used to do it after they were in bed once or twice a week to do it.
Then TOMM to keep on top of the jobs.
It was knackering but the only way I could manage.
It doesn't last forever OP. Although it feels like it will at the time

Get a cleaner if at all possible, I've had one for 6 weeks after the birth of my last 2 babies and I loved it SO much. I'm a single mum of 3 (13, 3 and 1) and they make a shocking mess I agree. The 1 year old throws food everywhere, the 12 year old leaves a trail of crap wherever she goes, the 3 year old sets up elaborate worlds that Must Not Be Touched.

I clean when they're in bed, put music on with headphones or a podcast and just get it done. I don't mind it really, I leave the playroom til last and set it up all nice fo the next day with activities out for them.

Or sometimes I have a glass of wine and watch a film and do the bare minimum. You do need some down time too and I don't think mess is a big issue, I just personally hate it and it stresses me out.

Lone parent of 3 here who also works full time. It is absolutely never ending. I keep it surface tidy in the week then we have Saturday as our fun day (Park, day out etc.) Then I spend Sunday morning (or afternoon if we have plans) cleaning. I can do a top to bottom clean in around 4 hours. My garden is a state though, I really do need a gardener as I hate it! We can't all do everything.

Oh and your little one is too young for this but my 2 older ones (9 and 6) help. They strip their own beds and dust and hoover their room for me. My 4 year old is starting to do this too.

My Sunday evening is my own time then, I usually spend it pampering myself and relaxing as the kids go bed quite early ready for school!

I mean you shouldn't be getting stressed out about this as you do enough being a single working mum so just do what you can but I also don't think you have to accept you will always have a dirty, messy home. It doesn't have to be a showhouse but I do think you should aim to keep things fairly hygienic and comfortable to live in. It's just nicer to live in.

I think you need to look at finding ways to reduce mess and dirt in the first place and easier ways to clean. Things like being strict about taking shoes off at the door and always cleaning as you go, planning meals that don't require too much clean up. Reduce the amount of toys and things your DS can just pull out on his own. Using what gadgets you can afford, Toni Hoover would be amazing. Plenty of easy storage where you can sling things when you need to tidy up.

He's 3. The floor gets covered with toys. Pretty sure that's normal for a 3yo. He always has to help me tidy it.

I have a driveway that has tonnes of leaves blown up into it and if I don't Sweep it it turns in to mulch and then it's really disgusting.

I think the issue is the original wooden floors in an ond victorian house. I just hate how grubby it looks so quickly.

Toni Hoover 😂

Other thing to do is a actually time yourself to see how long a job takes, often we are wildly overestimating. Mopping a floor can take as little as 5 minutes, 10 tops.

How much time do you need to spend cleaning the fridge Surely the skirting and windows don't need doing that often either?

Maybe he needs fewer 'clubs' at the weekend?

I know you think TOMM is too much but it's designed to help the people who would otherwise spend hours a day on cleaning to give themselves permission to do less, so it sounds like it would help you as you wouldn't need to do any extra each day apart from the 30-45 mins daily routines.