to think Scott Morrison didn’t say anything wrong?

[Organictangerine]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-61171449.amp

I heard this being discussed on Shelagh Fogarty this afternoon. I don’t think he’s said anything wrong. What do you think?

His choice of words was unfortunate, but I don't think any harm was meant by it, it sounds like he was acknowledging his fortune in not having extra stress due to supporting DC with additional needs.

My DC has a diagnosis of autism and GDD. At 4, they are not toilet trained, and non-verbal, and cannot be anywhere unaccompanied. My DC doesn't sleep well, so I am usually up 2-3 broken hours every single night, for the last 4 years. Exhausted doesn't quite cut it as a description.

My DC has been under SALT, OT, Physio, ENT, Audiology and Ed Psych at various points of their short life so far.

I've just been through a process of applying for EHCP, during which the needs assessment was originally turned down by the LA. I also had to view various settings to try and decide which would be best for DC.

I have a slightly older DC with no additional needs who I didn't have to battle through any of the above for. Life is much more straightforward and simpler for this DC.

As well as this I am a single parent due to my emotionally abusive EXDP, and I work full-time in a senior level job, so it's only me attending every single appointment and keeping on top of all the professionals (to be fair I also did that by myself when I had DP, as he was useless in that department).

So while very DC is a blessing, it really is a lottery for which DC have additional needs. I think that's what he was trying to express.

The comment seems odd as a response to a person with a disabled child asking in the run up to an election about the policy on support fir disabled people. was that the point, to talk about how strong parents are and side step any actual promises (not an Australian so don’t know if this is an election issue this time)

as for the comment I took it to mean that he feels blessed not to deal with the struggles that parents of some disabled children face.

as a disabled person I am not offended by the concept. I wouldn’t have read into it that my parents were less blessed or cursed.
id prefer not to have the health conditions that I do. I’d prefer my parents weren’t concerned about my safety now and in future.

language is tricky. Even writing this post some may be offended that I used disabled person rather than person with a disability or maybe additional needs.

Yes, because using any term at all carries an inference.

As I've already said, if he was determined to relay his own experiences, he could have simply said 'My wife and I have no experience of this' or similar. Better still, he could have just realised that having no experience of it whatsoever he can't really say anything of relevance at all about his own situation, and it would be best avoided bringing it up entirely.

It's one of these scenario where a politician has been asked a question about humanity, tried to empathise and make themselves look human and normal, and made a complete hash of it.

What he actually said was not enormously offensive in so far as these things go, but it was still offensive and ill-considered.

You’re coming across as quite ignorant. I suggest you do some reading about Hillsong, the ‘prosperity gospel’ 🤮and Scott Morrison’s behaviour towards the most vulnerable groups in Australian society. You can then reflect on how that fits with your understanding of the teachings of Christ.

I don’t think he has a ‘duty of care not to offend people’ at all, what does that even mean? He can’t ever say anything that somebody else doesn’t like? How reasonable an expectation is that for a politician?!

You’re using your dislike of religion to stretch this way out of proportion

There's a gulf between 'not being offensive' and not saying this that someone else doesn't like. Surely you don't need me to spell that out?

As a politician he's invariably going to say things that some people won't 'like', that goes hand-in-hand with politics and is true of all politicians. He still absolutely has a duty of care not to be outright offensive. That's true of all people, not just politicians, but it's especially the case with elected officials and those in positions of responsibility.

Presumably you think there was nothing wrong with anything Adolf Hitler said in his speeches then? After all, what does it matter if he was offensive. By your logic that's just people 'not liking' what he said.

Of course Morrison has a duty of care. To suggest he doesn't is ridiculous.

When I had my babies many years ago I refused the blood test that could show a higher likelihood of the mother carrying a baby that had Downs Syndrome. The midwife asked me why, as it was just a blood test. I told her that my reason was that even if I was having a baby that did have DS I wouldn't be aborting it, and that in fact I considered being pregnant with a baby that has DS as very much a blessing. Of course whether or not a child is NT, they can have all sorts of challenges in their lives, and on rare occasions a child with DS will have severe health problems, as will NT children.

As a student nurse I had a placement in a large house on a normal housing estate, that had been turned into a home for adults with various different, but very severe learning difficulties. One of them had an issue with always chewing at her hands, she eventually, very sadly, died from Septicemia. All of the adults in that home had been given up by their birth families, I didn't know all of their histories, but some had been given up at birth, and others at different stages throughout their lives. I did not - in fact I could not - judge their parents. These were people who had hardly any way of communicating how they felt, and all were doubly incontinent. I loved being able to help look after them (although I hated the small letter politics of most of the staff in that place) but with the best will in the world I would struggle to understand how someone could think that they were blessed to have a child born with such serious disabilities. Those often dreadfully painful conditions, that appeared to offer very little, to no quality of life, could not, in my opinion be a blessing to either the child or the parent. However, I did consider myself to be blessed to have even that small chance to get to know, as much as was possible, the soul that inhabitated that body, and for me to be able to in even small ways, get to show them some affection.

An example being the young lady who later died of Septicemia. She couldn't tell you what she wanted, but if you sat down she would try to climb onto your lap for a cuddle (I think she was about 25 years old then and I was about 34). I was told in no uncertain terms by the other staff there that I must not let her climb onto my lap. The reasons they gave were that a) it wasn't appropriate, and b) she wasn't the most hygenic of people - basically if any of the residents had a itch anywhere on their body, and they could reach it, then they would scratch it, but that is just how it is with people who have such severe learning difficulties, but with the mobility and strength of an adult. Anyway, when I was sitting down and she tried to climb onto my lap for a cuddle, I couldn't even gently push her away, or stand up and walk away - she wanted a cuddle, and even if I had been sacked for breaking safeguarding issues (not that they were ever referred to me as that, but I wasn't stupid, and I had children of my own, so I was well aware of what dangers any of those residents could be exposed to, and in danger of being taken advantage of), I felt that I had to let her sit on my lap for a few minutes, and I had to put my arm around her and give her a gentle cuddle, and I had to keep on gently moving her hand away from her mouth as she was trying to chew it. I did not want to reject her so I didn't. There were other nurses coming in and out of the (living) room, they frowned, but they didn't say anything.

It broke my heart when I had to leave the residents there in the politics of that home. I did make a complaint to the person at my university who was responsible for arranging and supervising those placements, but I heard no more about it, except a short while later I only scraped a pass mark for my community study - which had had many hours of study, research, cross referencing ect put into it by me, and I usually got high 80's or 90's (out of 100) for all of my previous essays and work, but only 46% for my community study. I think that I was being punished for potentially rocking the boat.

Oh dear, I have really digressed. I am very sorry OP for doing so. I don't know which way to vote, because if Scott Morrison has visited homes like the one where I had a placement, I think he is right to not think that as babies they had been a blessing to themselves or their parents. But if he mainly knows NT and ND people who do, or with the right help can, live happy and fulfilled lives, then in muy opinion the vast majority of both were blessings for their parents, and I can only hope and pray that their parents were blessings for them. If I had to choose, then I think it would have been better if he hadn't made a generalised statement like that, but we are all mearly humans, and as such we frequently make the wrong judgement call.

Let's be realistic. Would you rather have a child with or without special needs? To say you are blessed to have a child without special needs is just giving thanks and acknowledging your relief that everything's gone smoothly and to plan.

He has always worn his religious beliefs very openly and actually although he isn’t all that popular over here at the moment, I understand he’s a very warm and caring person. The family who lost three of their children in a terrible accident have spoken about how he has given them a huge amount of support behind the scene s.
Equally, we all say things that can be construed differently. Personally I think saying you’re blessed not to have a disabled child is awkward as it does suggest that people who have a disabled child haven’t been “blessed” but equally I find it a bit weird when people say “someone was looking out for me when I overslept and missed that plane that crashed” because I think “well what about the other poor buggers, did they not deserve to have someone looking out for them?” but equally I think it’s just one of those things that people say.
I honestly don’t think he would have meant it in a “thank god I don’t have to deal with this” - they’ve been through their own issues with infertility etc as well.

I think “well what about the other poor buggers, did they not deserve to have someone looking out for them?

It's always amused me when athletes and sportsmen leave the field after a victory and immediately credit 'God' with giving them the strength/ability/fortune to win. Presumably God isn't a fan of the vanquished opponents then, or perhaps they didn't pray hard enough, or maybe God just had a bet on you winning and didn't fancy losing a few bob?

It's hard for me not to be biased by how much I hate SM.

But even trying to put the best possible spin on what he said I'm left wondering why he felt the need to point out his kids don't have special needs... why is that relevant and how is that in any way an empathetic response to someone who does?

And, have others have pointed out, his government is wholly responsible for many of the struggles parents of SN children face in accessing support, thanks to its mismanagement and cost cutting of the NDIS.

I'm disabled. I'm posting at 3 am because I'm in too much pain to sleep. I wasn't born disabled, but I am aware of a lot of the language issues about how we speak about disability. Nevertheless I would consider myself blessed if these bloody conditions went away. Doesn't mean that I am cursed, or worth less than other people.

I would without a doubt rather have MY child, not some idealised fantasy child.

It’s an insult and completely insensitive to parents who love and are as grateful for their children as anyone else, regardless of their abilities.

This comment might have gone down differently over here if he hadn't cheerfully slashed NDIS and wasn't a huge subscriber to the prosperity gospel cult. And locked up asylum seekers for years while constantly burbling on about Jen and the girls and how important their future is.

www.abc.net.au/news/2022-03-06/biloela-family-speaks-on-fourth-anniversary-of-start-of-ordeal/100885888

And if he hadn't had to be allocated an empathy coach when he became PM because he's so tone deaf and completely unable to look past himself and his own family.

I don’t know who he is but I feel as a multi-disabled person and the mother of a ND child and with a ND partner, that I have a voice in the matter.

As a disabled person i understand how cutting it is when others use language that make you feel devalued and when society is set up to exclude you, that just exacerbates the hurt and exclusion. I understand why interpretations of the comment are assuming it’s covert negativity.

That said I won’t pretend I don’t hate having disabilities or that I’d rather I didn’t have any . I hate the pain and discomfort of chronic illness and the restrictions it places upon my life and the lives of my family. I also don’t feel my being neurodivergent is a gift on the whole, although there are elements I do believe I benefit from. I actually really like who I am as a person but others don’t and many of the autism issues I struggle with aren’t related to society or socialising so I can’t say society changing would help make my autistic life better. I worry for my child growing up as their experience mirrors mine from decades before (I pinned my hopes on my mum saying my child is a different person and will have different experiences - still waiting for that as so far they’re identical) and I worry about the misery they may experience if that continues. My partner has adhd and I see how he struggles daily with it and he wishes he didn’t have it. He has no control over it and medication makes him physically unwell. He can’t win. None of us are savants, we’re not making world changing inventions or technological advances, we struggle through life with a lot of support from our families. If I could then I probably would choose to be able bodied and neurotypical and I’d want the same for my family too. That’s not ableism, it’s not a response to ableism. It’s wanting an easier life.

He said he was blessed to have his two daughters and that they didn't have the struggles which disabled people might have. The Australian of the Year, who has a disability, got very angry , taking it as an insult to all disabled people. I don't personally think that ScoMo said anything insulting - but people will find offense in anything if they want to.

but people will find offense in anything if they want to

Maybe Morrison should have thought about the language he was using then, and given the perpetually offended no ammunition?

Funny thing about offence. It's not within the gift of people other than the intended target to decide whether something is offensive or not. That's why I don't, as a white person, generally go around telling black people whether they should be offended by something or not, and I wouldn't dream of telling them that they are probably just guilty of looking for offence where none is intended.

Morrison's comment relates specifically to parenthood, and implies that parents of NT/able bodied children are 'blessed'. By definition, that comment also relates to parents of ND and disabled children, so I really think unless you fall into that demographic, it's not for you to judge whether what SM said is offensive or not.

Plenty of people in this particular demographic are unhappy and offended by what he said, so that in and of itself is a pretty good indicator that what he said was offensive.

Man's a wanker who shouldn't be allowed to speak in public as he says such ghastly things. This is the man who had to ask Jenny if rape was bad and he apparently now knows it is because she told him to think of their daughters being raped...

Combining this blessed nonsense with the underhand slashing of NDIS funding and he looks very bad indeed.

ScoMo is well known for being an arse.
He was in Hawaii when Australia was burning (Jan just before Covid). He does not seem to understand what is important.
He is an arse of the highest order.
The NDIS (disability support financial aid) has been severely cut under his rule.
People are really struggling to get financial support for their kids. My mate has lost 50pct of previous support for her son with severe needs.
Most people here with children who have additional needs are pissed off to the highest order.
our Australian of the Year is a Para-Olympian (in a wheelchair) - you think its going in the right direction, Then...wham- ScoMo opens his mouth.

He was know as 'Scotty from Marketing' as all is did was talk, but even his marketing skills have been lost

You're just hurting your brains interpreting what ScoMo says. He does this so often it's almost a national sport. He even forcibly shook a woman's hand who has just lost her home in the bushfires while she tried to tell him they needed help, not a pollie photo op. Wasn't listening to a damn thing she said.

Look up some of the times he's made gaffes on women's issues.

He's just clueless.

The wording used was wrong- absolutely- but I defy any parent, way back at the beginning, given a choice between a child with no concerns, and one with, would jump up and down and say ooh, me, me please. Are we grateful for the children we have? Absolutely. Would we wish things easier for them in the future if they didn't have to face the challenges some of them do? Absolutely. Does this mean they are not loved? Not at all. It was offence for the sake of taking offence.

Oh, yes. Forgot. National DIsability Insurance Scheme. My DS is on it. I've been told to expect a 50% cut in his plan later this year after SCOMO set his razor gang onto it. Apparently he'll be 10 then & should have all the tools he needs for life by then.

He is so tone deaf and constantly brings his own family in to it, as lovelacementioned above, he once made a speech about how now he understands rape is bad because he asked his wife and she explained it to him 🙄 Just one reason the 2021 Australian of the Year Grace Tame, advocate and sexual assault survivor, hates him.

I actually agree that on paper what he said wasn't that bad, if a bit tone deaf. I think why people are interpreting it another way, is that knowing how religious he is and the type of religion he follows (evangelical Christian), its easy to think he probably did mean it in a bad way. He probably does think God blessed him and cursed others.

Why do we have to micro analyse every single word someone says these days and put our own interpretation on it to fit our own agenda .
What he said would have been exactly what 99.9% of the population would say .

He felt blessed / lucky he hadn't had to cope with disabled children as would 99.9% of the population .

My aunt had a disabled child and he has determined every single thing her family has done . Would she have preferred he be able bodied , absolutely she would . There is nothing wrong with that .

Well clearly a lot of people were unhappy with his remarks as Morrison has had a backlash, it is not what '99.9%' of the population would say.

Also, the way we talk about things evolves.

Morrison is a clumsy arse, he is always offending people. I think generally he should be more careful.