Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ridiculous argument with neighbour

256 replies

KindleAndCake · 21/04/2022 15:24

Maybe IABU. My dog only ever barks at cats, that's it. Never at other dogs or people.
So, new neighbours at the back recently moved in and have cats, they have them on leads and put them up against our fence.
When I let our dog out and he sees the cats through the fence he'll bark at them. I will then bring him in.
Neighbour saw me today and challenged me over the barking. He said it was annoying. I just said there wasn't much I could do, he's a dog and he barks at cats and I bring him in as soon as I hear him.
Neighbour then responds with, "but my cat doesn't make any noise". I just looked at him, and said, but he's a cat. He doesn't bark.
Neighbour then threatened to call the police if this carries on.
Am I really being unreasonable? I don't know what else I can do?

OP posts:
Jackburger · 22/04/2022 18:31

You neighbour is an idiot. Anyhow you need to try to sort the problem out so you can have your dog in your garden when you wish (not barking of course!). Put up a solid fence so that your dog can't see the cats. If the cats decide to sit on the fence to taunt your dog then shoo them away or use water. If that doesn't work then it's your neighbour's issue. It sounds like you are a good dog owner who would not let their dog bark continuously and disturb people. I have a dog and cat that get on very well but another cat that comes in to our garden and taunts my dog (and cat!). Occasional barking and cat hissing but I bring ours in when that happens.

Jackburger · 22/04/2022 18:31

*Your

jeaux90 · 22/04/2022 18:40

I'd cover the fence at the back and put spikes on top.

pinkpantherpink · 22/04/2022 18:47

Don't engage. Your neighbour is bonkers.

You're being absolutely reasonably.

Pyri · 22/04/2022 18:50

Supergirl1958 · 22/04/2022 18:26

@Pyri really?

We adopted a Romanian Shih Tzu who barks at almost anything. A helicopter, people walking past my parents house…anything!

The OP is entitled to use their outdoor living space how they see fit! I mean cats on a lead FFS? I wouldn’t be surprised if the neighbour is deliberately goading the OP!!

and as for barking dogs, that’s like asking a baby to stop crying!!

Show quote history

No it’s not the same as asking babies not to cry. Of course you can’t stop dogs barking entirely, but if they’re that reactive then you can definitely take steps to do so.

The exercise is basically to reward them when they go quiet from barking to teach them that quiet = get a treat. Or teach them to “speak” then “quiet”.

A rescue would be harder of course, but it’s absolutely reasonable and fair to the rest of the neighbourhood that people do try and limit their dogs barking where possible

Elle8344 · 22/04/2022 19:00

He's the new neighbour, yet he's telling you you're annoying!!! 😂
He shouldn't be tying the cats up anyway. What would happen if one of them fell over your side & ended up strangled in your garden? I'd suggest he gets a catio built away from your fence so they can go outside safely. To let them climb up the fence knowing your dog will bark sounds like he's doing it on purpose.

I've got cats but I'd never let them do that if I knew there was a dog next door.

And as for blocking the fence... if it annoys him that much then I'd tell him to cover it from his side. He's the one with the problem.

If he says he's calling the police I'd say OK I'll report you to the RSPCA.

He sounds like a self-entitled twat with nothing better to do.

LateOnTheBandwagon · 22/04/2022 19:02

I think you should devise a sort of water pistol device - one that points towards the top of the fence and can be operated by,say, the weight of a dog's paw. Then train your dog to just wander along and tread on it. This would take some training but so much more rewarding than training him not to bark at cats 😄

Plumbuddle · 22/04/2022 19:06

Dancer47 · 21/04/2022 16:32

To stop them getting run over
To stop them killing birds
to keep them in your own garden
IT'S NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE

Show quote history

No, it's just cruelty to animals who have a natural instinct to roam freely.

Madamum18 · 22/04/2022 19:14

I have never heard of putting cats out on a lead

Plumbuddle · 22/04/2022 19:17

KindleAndCake · 21/04/2022 18:04

The fence is already 2ft high, or there abouts. I'm going to cover it so ddog can't see through, then see if batshit neighbour will consider not allowing cats to jump on the fence. A fair compromise I feel.

This fence is so low. There must be huge problems with privacy generally. Could the two households club together to build something taller?

AnnUumellmahaye · 22/04/2022 19:18

That sounds nuts. I can't imagine a cat sitting happily on a lead in the garden.
As long as you are not letting your dog bark incessantly then I wouldn't be doing anything, other than politely nodding and then doing fuck all about it.

BungleandGeorge · 22/04/2022 19:25

Plumbuddle · 22/04/2022 19:06

No, it's just cruelty to animals who have a natural instinct to roam freely.

Show quote history

That’s all pets then? If they weren’t contained they’d all wander freely. In some other countries pet dogs are also allowed to wander

LegalEagle931 · 22/04/2022 19:25

I'm a massive cat lover and slave to two of them, not a big dog fan but I think your neighbour is being a bit of a knob tbh.

You and your pets are both entitled to use your own gardens...you're doing everything you can by bringing your dog in as soon as you hear him...he needs to put them on shorter leads or keep them at the other end of the garden. It's not rocket science!

Jillybloop393 · 22/04/2022 19:28

Maybe a compromise could be reached. If they use shorter leads so the cats can't sit on the fence, and you then can cover the fence so the cats can't be seen. Job done.
If they won't use shorter leads, then water pistol it is!!

Bootothegoose · 22/04/2022 19:29

Our old neighbours had a Scooby dog (A Great Dane?) and it barked WHENEVER we went into the garden - especially when the cat was in the garden. It was mind numbing and really stopped us going out.

unfortunately dogs bark and there’s little you can do but the first step would surely be to block the dog’s view? Get some pallets or netting and block the holes in the fence. It will be stressing him out too if he barks whenever he sees them.

try not to fall out with neighbour - it will be a long summer.

Tabitha005 · 22/04/2022 19:33

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 21/04/2022 15:26

YANBU neighbour is a daft bastard. Who puts their cat outside on a lead? What a tool.

Daft bastard is absolutely on the nail. OP, if the cats can't fuck off where the dog can't see them how does the neighbour expect your dog to stop barking at them?

LoisLane66 · 22/04/2022 19:49

I don't think that any dog owner ought to feel they have to remove their dog from the garden UNLESS they are barking more than a couple of times, after all, we don't expect children to be silent.
What I DO think the OP could do is ask the ndn to put chairs and cats on the other side of the property against the opposite fence as it's his cats causing the aggro, not the dog, who has every right to bark as most dogs do with cats who aren't in the same family. Just my observations as I don't have pets.

LoisLane66 · 22/04/2022 19:56

I don't think it's mad to have cats on a lead when they are in a new area. From what I've heard, most cat owners keep their cats indoors for a determinate time so they don't get list in a new area.
Many neighbours have arguments about cats fouling on and digging the soil in gardens which are not their own.
Perhaps the neighbour is being considerate in that regard.

LoisLane66 · 22/04/2022 19:57

*lost

AnnUumellmahaye · 22/04/2022 20:01

I don't think it's necessarily mad, I just can't imagine many cats being happy to be on one.
Or staying on one for any length of time.

Astori · 22/04/2022 20:09

Many neighbours can be wierd sometimes or have one of those days. Your neighbour definitely act impolite and impulsive, nervour. It doesn't look he /she wants to be nice and have a good relationship with you.

Squeezyhug · 22/04/2022 20:15

YANBU
Maybe grow one of those thick tall hedges to cut out him and his cats ?

AnnieSnap · 22/04/2022 20:17

Your neighbours are ridiculous and placing their cats at risk of injury if tying them on leads long enough to climb the fence. I assume they are not attached to their collars (🙏) but even attached to harnesses, they could get tangled up in them and end up hanging there injured (speaking as a posh cat (the cats, not me) owner)!

whynotwhatknot · 22/04/2022 20:19

Did you mean to say 2ft high because thats really low

if its your fence maybe consider getting 6 ft ones

whynotwhatknot · 22/04/2022 20:21

KindleAndCake · 21/04/2022 20:25

I meant 2 metres high/ 6ft high, ot 2ft high 🤣

Apologies i missed this post

just ignore them theyre making it worse letting them sit on top of the fence