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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for wanting to move to Germany?

89 replies

SJB47 · 21/04/2022 14:58

My son who is 26 moved to Berlin 4 years ago. Since then he has met a wonderful German girl who he will be marrying soon, he has an amazing quality of life there and always tells me I should consider moving there. I don't see much of a future here in the UK after brexit and I'm fortunate to have an Irish passport so the EU is still open to me. I work in tech as does my son and he tells me that there are plenty of English speaking jobs available that I can get while I learn the language. I don't have any other children or anything tying me to the uk besides a few friends that I have here but I've spoken to them and they think it's a good idea and that we would still be able to keep the friendship going through facetime and cheap travel to see each other. So at 47 years old would it be a good idea to start a new life in Germany?

OP posts:
RudsyFarmer · 03/03/2023 09:16

Go, go, go! Go and enjoy your life and hopefully your son and grandchildren in time. I wouldn’t hesitate.

Havanananana · 03/03/2023 12:19

NellyBarney · 03/03/2023 09:15

Did you move in the end? I was wondering whether an EU passport is actually any good if you are not also an EU resident at the time of emigrating. Did you get work permission/healthcare straight away?

The issue of being an EU resident at the time of emigrating does not exist. The OP has an EU passport and can therefore freely move to any other EU state at any time regardless of whether she currently lives. No work permission is required, and healthcare is usually continued from her NHS coverage and/or then through her employment deductions.

It would be interesting to know if the OP has moved and how she is finding life in a new country. As someone who has also moved to an EU country at an older age I can only recommend it!

Nevermind31 · 03/03/2023 12:26

Look into your pension. What will the impact be of your entitlement having been built up in the UK? What is the impact if you were to receive it abroad?
What would happen to any entitlement built up under the German system? …
Otherwise- it will be lovely living near your child and future grandchildren

PamperedEnLaPampa · 03/03/2023 12:40

We have just come back from Berlin. Bloody loved it. Go for for it.

SquashPenguin · 03/03/2023 12:43

Berlin is my favourite city, lost count of how many times I’ve been but I’m going again in the summer. I’d move there in a heartbeat. If I ever win the lottery Berlin is where I’m buying another property!

BertieBotts · 03/03/2023 13:01

Germany is great and if you have the EU passport and experience/qualifications in tech it's perfect. I'd go for it. Yes the property prices are insane but so are they everywhere else.

Yellowdays · 03/03/2023 13:03

I would try it but if you have a house here that you own it may be best to rent it out than sell it, just in case you change your mind.

Sunriseinwonderland · 03/03/2023 13:10

I lived in Bremen in Germany for two years and people were lovely to me. There were German/English clubs everywhere.
The countryside, skiing and mountains and architecture are lovely.
However it's extremely lonely going somewhere where you don't speak the language well enough to understand jokes and innuendos.
You really would be so much better off taking a year or two to really learn the language very well before you go there.
Estate agents, rental agents etc do expect you to be able to speak the language and not just go around speaking english. It doesn't go down very well.
My ex husband who I was there with worked in an english speaking firm.

NellyBarney · 06/03/2023 12:43

@Havanananana Are you sure? You obviously get the right to enter and stay in any EU country if you have an EU passport, but we found out that without having lived in the EU, you don't get the same rights. E.g., we looked at universities (Switzerland and Ireland) they would not recognise my German children who now live I Britain as EU students for fee purposes as they have not been living recently in an EU country, so they would have to pay international fees. In Germany, I'm also not sure how pensions, healthcare etc now work, at least until you got a full time job and got your German policies set up. It's more difficult now if you just moved there to try and find a job.

DutchKatje · 06/03/2023 13:11

I hope you did go op, a friend just moved from London to Germany, although Munich so completely different city, and loves it.

Havanananana · 06/03/2023 13:25

@NellyBarney Your family situation regarding university study is very specific, and fee payment might well be linked to previous residency. For work and residence purposes, Brexit has made no change to the status of anyone with an EU passport, but be aware that UK qualifications might no longer be recognised as being equivalent to EU or local qualifications - e.g. nursing, legal, teaching qualifications.

Murdoch1949 · 06/03/2023 16:53

Book a ticket now!

JMSA · 06/03/2023 17:05

I'm not sure how I'd feel about following one of my adult children abroad. Unless it was somewhere I had considered living anyway, it feels a bit like hanging on your son's coattails. I don't know, I'm probably being unfair, since he (and presumably his fiancée) seem happy to have you there.

I've had a couple of really close German friends in the past. They tend to form very strong, genuine friendships. None of the 'oh, but we muuuust meet up soon' like you get in the UK Grin

JMSA · 06/03/2023 17:06

It's not the easiest of languages though! I did it at uni.

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