AIBU for wanting to move to Germany?

[SJB47]

My son who is 26 moved to Berlin 4 years ago. Since then he has met a wonderful German girl who he will be marrying soon, he has an amazing quality of life there and always tells me I should consider moving there. I don't see much of a future here in the UK after brexit and I'm fortunate to have an Irish passport so the EU is still open to me. I work in tech as does my son and he tells me that there are plenty of English speaking jobs available that I can get while I learn the language. I don't have any other children or anything tying me to the uk besides a few friends that I have here but I've spoken to them and they think it's a good idea and that we would still be able to keep the friendship going through facetime and cheap travel to see each other. So at 47 years old would it be a good idea to start a new life in Germany?

OP, where in the UK do you currently live? What kind of lifestyle do you have? That will make the comparison easier.

Go just for the Berliners alone!

I’d go for it, you only live once and if you struggle you can always come hone, sounds like there’s nothing to loose!

We lived in Germany for years and I found it much easier to make friends there than in the UK. The health service is much better than here and the houses are made much better too.

You can put missing years into your English pension so you won’t lose out there. Maybe rent your house out and go and try it.

Frankly, I’m deeply envious. If I could leave now you wouldn’t see me for dust.

We've stayed in Berlin and it's a lovely city. We recently stayed near Hamburg, and found people were really friendly and helpful - a couple of times we had transport problems, and each time someone saw we had a problem and came over to help us. DD is on a year abroad with a northern German uni and has said she'd stay if she could. She said she may return in future to live.

Enough people speak English, but it'd certainly help if you could learn the language.

I forgot to say DD has visited quite a few European cities and says Berlin is her favourite

How does your son's girlfriend feel about you following him to Berlin?

Exactly my point. If she didn't mention her EU passport, then people would be asking how she could move as she doesnt have an EU passport. People round here struggle to comprehend when the actual facts are written, never mind if she'd left some pertinent information out.

We lived in Germany for years. Moved to America three years ago, if we had the opportunity to go back, I’d be off like a shot.

Why not? Only suggestion I’d make is don’t sell any property here yet. Rent it out and rent in Germany for at least 2 years ( I speak from bitter experience of not following this advice!) You're young — go and have an adventure.

Go for it! I moved to the Netherlands when I was 46, and never looked back. Have a much better quality of life, higher salary etc, and it's really nice just being able to drive to multiple other countries. If you don't enjoy it, you can always move back, but it does sound like a great opportunity!

I’m currently in holiday in Germany (we live in France), I’d happily move here. I can’t imagine it’s worse than France for bureaucracy, and quality of life / healthcare etc are high. I agree though that it might be harder to break into new friendships than in the UK.

my comment is more about your reasons for making the move. How would you feel if, in five years, your son and his girlfriend / partner / wife decided to move back to the UK? Or to Australia? Or anywhere really? They are very young, it’s possible they will move for jobs or adventure.

If they move on, will you follow them - again? Would you feel ok staying on in Germany without them if they moved?

When we moved first to NZ, then to France my dad told me he’d never make his decisions based on where we were living - for him it put too much pressure on both parties.

so if you do move, do it because you want to, not because it’s where your son is - for now.

Do it! I did and I love it here. I have no plans to return to the UK.

Put it this way.. When I was 26 I was living in Australia. Two years later I returned to the UK to do a masters, where I also meet DH. We lived in the U.K. for a few years, then moved to NZ. We lived there for 5 years, DS1 was born. We then moved to France and had DS2. We’ve been here ever since.

I don’t expect either of my children to stay in one place. They might, and that’s fine, but I wouldn’t shift my entire life to another country on the expectation that they wouldn’t move on again.

I would go for it myself if I was actually able to learn another language. Completely useless at it though. Sounds like a good opportunity, although I would worry about making new friends but I'm sure that will come through work etc. 🙂

Im german but living in the UK. If you move to Berlin, it's very diverse and a lot of English speaking people will be living there.

I suggest doing an evening German course where you'd also meet people in the same situation.

If you end up unhappy, you can always go back but at least you tried.

Go for it! It's your life.

Haven't time to read the entire thread, OP, but how do your son and his wife feel about you coming to live in 'their' city? Particularly the wife? Are you expecting to spend a lot of time with them? I think moving to Germany sounds like a great idea: lucky you to have an Irish passport.

Go, I think you only regret things you don't do. Rent your house out here as that gives you a fallback if needed. Set a time limit - if you don't have the life you want in X years, then you do something else.

I'm leaving the UK as soon as family commitments finish here. I'd go tomorrow if I could.

I'm slightly older than you and I'd definitely give it serious consideration in your circumstances.

I'd start by staying there for a fortnight in an AirBnB, looking at flats and areas in your budget, commuting at rush hour, spending four hours a morning on Duolingo and practising in the afternoon in the shops or with DDIL over dinner. It won't tell you everything but it will give you a view as to whether it's a city you could love. Then start a language course and start applying for jobs.

As long as you're renting it doesn't have to be an irreversible decision. Even Priti Patel isn't going to build a wall across the Channel and not let Irish passport holders back in.

Sounds amazing to be honest. I'll come with you.

I would try it. If you don't try it you'll never know!

I am another Brit in Germany and although there are things I miss about Britain i do feel the quality of life here is better than in the UK.

Annoyances such as supermarkets and shops being shut on Sunday are minor and easily to work around. You can get essentials at train stations in cities and if you're in the country you can often buy milk and eggs from machines on farms.

Berlin has a huge expat community so you'll definitely make friends, even if you find Berliners a bit frosty.

The only thing that would put me off Berlin is the weather. I don't think I could stand the extremes of cold and heat but I'm sure you just get used to it.

Gosh do it. Lots of tech companies will hire you and pay for German lessons. I find Berlin a bit small and not really like a capital city, but it's lovely and I would deffo live there if an opportunity came up.

And while a lot of people think Sunday closing is a bad thing, frankly? if you're not working weird shifts, there's no need to go to a shop on a Sunday. The important shops are open on a Sunday though (bakeries and pubs)

Did you move in the end? I was wondering whether an EU passport is actually any good if you are not also an EU resident at the time of emigrating. Did you get work permission/healthcare straight away?