Am I too available at work?

[JanetPluchinsky]

Prompted by DH asking why I’m answering emails in bed this morning.

I am a manager in a hospitality setting. It’s a full on job, often 50-60hr weeks. I love my job. I work alongside another manager but we have specific roles each and don’t really get involved in the other’s unless absolutely necessary.

I have work emails, booking system, WhatsApp etc on my phone and laptop. Invariably, things will crop up that need my attention while I’m at home. I get phone calls/messages from the team when I’m not there with queries that I can’t just ignore. Or emails from customers that are time critical.

DH works in a completely different sector earning 4x what I do and when he’s not at work (9-5) he doesn’t think about work at all.

I think it’s just a totally different world and comes with the job. I sometimes have to message my own manager when they’re not actually working and they will always reply.

I did leave my phone at home at DHs request over Christmas when we were horrendously short staffed and I was under a lot of stress, it was my first day off for 12 days and we went out for a family dinner but tbh I spent the whole time panicking that they needed me and I did get home to several messages (and yes, it had all gone to shit unnecessarily which I could have sorted).

I am working on building up the team to be more self sufficient but it’s hell out there in hospitality land and I have a very young team who aren’t always confident to make decisions without me.

How available are other people outside their working hours? It’s pretty normal in a lot of sectors I’d have thought?

I promise I’m not a micromanager either, it’s not like I’m breathing down their necks and not delegating, just that I’ve been put in the position of being the perceived font of all knowledge and don’t like to leave messages unanswered.

But the more you take on extra work and the more you keep picking up jobs in your free time, the more people will come to rely on you and then it's a viscous cycle.

You should have a colleague on every shift when you're not there who is capable of stepping up and doing the vital parts of your role that can't wait until you're next back in the business.

So a deputy manager, or someone in a supervisory capacity who knows it's their job to check/action emails when you're not on the rota etc.

As the manager, it's your responsibility to make sure you have someone who is trained up to step in when you're away, else how do you ever get a proper day off or break?

Sounds like your colleague has boundaries by not having work emails on their phone, maybe you should consider this too. By answering/being available all you are doing is hiding an issue that you are understaffed

I am reasonably senior and have a team reporting into me and I still don’t check emails on phone and I actively encourage my team to do the same as their well-being and family life is more important than a deadline.

If I see that they have been online over the weekend or late at night (because emails are sent or notice their last online time on our chat system) then I will challenge them in it. Because if it’s due to them being stretched as they have too much work that’s my issue to sort.

Earlier in my career I made myself too available, learned from that and figured out what my boundaries are. I’m currently public sector, £55k. I work flexibly, so sometimes I could finish at 4pm, other days at 7pm, but crucially I don’t often go beyond my contracted hours (38/week) and if I do, I take them back as leave.

It sounds like you care a bit too much about controlling things, it also sounds like you put a lot into your work which is a nice ethic in some ways but unfortunately you won’t get the same in return. Which is why you are carrying so much. As much as you like your job, it really could lead to health problems (it did for me, hence learning my boundaries!).

You will serve your team, your business and your customers best by enabling them to work well without your constant input. You will benefit from this in your career and any next steps you take, and in your personal life by regaining some semblance of balance.

I hope this comes across nicely as it is meant nicely! You sound like you care, and just need to learn to lead, to delegate, to be comfortable with that, and to know what your personal priorities are.

If you don't own the business, as in have 100% of the shares, you are making yourself too available. If staff know you will respond out of hours, and solve the problems for them, they will keep ringing you!

I'd ask for a work phone, and turn it off as I was leaving for the day.

I haven't rtft so sorry if things have moved on. I worked in a similar sector and I think there definitely is an expectation as a manager to be available. I certainly was responsible for dealing with cover and absences even on my days off (and if I couldn't get cover I was expected to go in unless I had a verifiable reason why I couldn't like a wedding). But if I was on annual leave I could usually allocate an area manager or other venue manager as the person to call if there was a problem.

It wasn't an issue I had but another manager was struggling with being called a million times a day by her team. She was told to say to her team on her off days they could only contact her twice. So to think very carefully before calling and if it was worth using one of their 'phone a friend' tokens as it were. It worked really well as her team had got into the habit of calling her about any little thing, they now had to consider each time they did so, and over time built up their confidence, and her confidence in them.

You've said you're working on giving your team strength and that's so important. I only felt I'd achieved as a manager when the shift could run as smoothly when I wasn't there as when I was. After each day off have a full debrief with your team. Before a day off make sure everyone knows their roles and your expectations. You certainly shouldn't be answering customer emails - you should have a process in place that covers that whilst youre off. Contact should be emergency only.