Am I too available at work?

[JanetPluchinsky]

Prompted by DH asking why I’m answering emails in bed this morning.

I am a manager in a hospitality setting. It’s a full on job, often 50-60hr weeks. I love my job. I work alongside another manager but we have specific roles each and don’t really get involved in the other’s unless absolutely necessary.

I have work emails, booking system, WhatsApp etc on my phone and laptop. Invariably, things will crop up that need my attention while I’m at home. I get phone calls/messages from the team when I’m not there with queries that I can’t just ignore. Or emails from customers that are time critical.

DH works in a completely different sector earning 4x what I do and when he’s not at work (9-5) he doesn’t think about work at all.

I think it’s just a totally different world and comes with the job. I sometimes have to message my own manager when they’re not actually working and they will always reply.

I did leave my phone at home at DHs request over Christmas when we were horrendously short staffed and I was under a lot of stress, it was my first day off for 12 days and we went out for a family dinner but tbh I spent the whole time panicking that they needed me and I did get home to several messages (and yes, it had all gone to shit unnecessarily which I could have sorted).

I am working on building up the team to be more self sufficient but it’s hell out there in hospitality land and I have a very young team who aren’t always confident to make decisions without me.

How available are other people outside their working hours? It’s pretty normal in a lot of sectors I’d have thought?

Based on a 55 hour week, you earn about £10.50ph. That's really not worth being on call permanently.

Sounds bloody awful to me
do you have children or plan to?

That sounds so hard! You need to try and be more boundaried but I imagine that is difficult. I dread having to go back to work at the end of this year, I don't know how other mothers juggle family life and busy jobs, I'm useless at juggling anything.

You are doing far too much for the money that you are earning.

Wtaf

you earn under £30K OP??!!!

I'm a secondary teacher. I check my emails at the weekend and during short holidays (like half term, Easter hols) because I have kids emailing and I don't want to miss them.

I regularly email at 9pm/10pm.

I reckon I'm too available too , but I can't see another way round it 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know that if I wasn't to check my emails though, it wouldn't impact the day to day aspect of my job. I choose to; it's not necessary. Kids would miss out on quicker responses but things wouldn't grind to a halt. If the issue with your set up is that it is NECESSARY for you to be so available, I think that's probably an issue.

No other manager there when you’re not?

Things like queries about where something is or how to do this or that process.

this does not reflect well on management

Yeah the pay is shit but it is what it is.

I should be able to pull back soon, I have just promoted a capable member of staff to be a duty manager and my same level colleague is getting much more confident.

From Christmas until recently was a nightmare as we didn’t have a general manager at the time so I was handed a ton more responsibility that I’ve never really been able to let go of, new GM is great but still learning the role and relies on me a lot for some of the internal processes. Also my opposite manager still acts as though they are less senior than me and defers to me for decisions.

I need to step back into my actual role and that should happen soon.

You need to look at the processes that you and your team are using- if they fall down without your constant involvement, there are gaps that need to be filled.

Things you could look at:

• Giving more senior members the authority to make routine decisions in your absence
• Documenting what should be done in frequently-occurring situations: sickness and needing cover is an obvious one
• Making decision trees to help with the less routine issues, e.g. “call me if this much money is involved”
• After a non-routine “emergency”, hold a review meeting, revisit decisions made and either confirm that they were right to increase your team’s confidence, or coach them through how they could have done better.

One of the first things my mentor taught me as a manager was, if things are different when you aren’t there, you’re doing something wrong.

Yep, you’re too available.
If your work want you to have certain apps, they should supply you with a phone as you’re paying for that, using your own internet and phone usage.
My work wanted me to read emails on my personal phone. I refuse to as some information is of a sensitive nature and confidential. If they want to go down that route, they supply me with a laptop or phone.
when I’m home, I’m home. If I’m needed that much I’d be at work and they can pay me. You should be paid for any time that is encroached on in your spare time.

There is “shit”

and then there is absolutely abysmal

This is the latter

I should be able to pull back soon

how long has it been like this?

About five months really.

It is getting better but I don’t see a time when I can ever be completely switched off when I’m not there as no one is really.

In a lot of ways hospitality isn’t like any other job. And I don’t mind that.

I was a retail store manager for a number of years, and over time with apps/emails required for my role I felt like I was always working. I had calls/ texts from my team on most days off, and over annual leave, even when they had other store managers available to call. It wore me down over time and I eventually left to take a much lower paid role where I can turn my laptop off at the end of the day and not think about work at all. I am much happier

Is that how long you have been in the role?

when you are off, is there no manager present?

I’ve been in the role for about a year.

I have a colleague who does the opposite role to me but we have different areas of focus. We can cover for each other, and there are also two duty managers who can run shifts but don’t have authority to do certain things.

I think the main reason I’m needed so much at the moment is everyone including the new GM looks to me as the one with the knowledge and experience of certain things. Nothing overly complex and obvs once I’ve shown them they know for next time, so it will eventually get better in that sense.

I do often respond to requests with ‘I’m off, please ask X’ but sometimes it’s easier just to deal with it.

some of this is my own issue with being a bit of a control freak, I know that.

Also there are sometimes things I don’t know so I have to message my boss’s boss for example and they are always happy to respond out of hours, it’s definitely a culture within the business.

You need to put of hours procedures in place and also instructions for processes etc.... The duty managers should be able to cope with out you. You also need to set about changing the culture where they think its acceptable to call you when you're not on duty except in extreme circumstances.

Lots to think about here, thank you all so much.

it has never bothered me but DH told me this morning I was barking mad to be responding to emails when x could do it. And he’s right. I need to let go.

You have been there a year a senior management, even the GM, turn to you be use of your knowledge and experience

op - this doesn’t sound like a well run business to me

So o do t think your circumstances will be changing any time soon

But they are much more senior than you, presumably with salaries to match.

If they didn't respond, what would you do?

if your team can’t manage without you for a few hours then something is horrendously wrong IMO. Checking emails once a day, fine. Needing to be constantly on call is ridiculous and is the sign of poor management

Hopefully things will improve as the newer staff settle but it might be no harm for you to have a think about your own management style. You’ve twice referred to your need to control and it sounds like people are contacting you about the small stuff as well as the more serious issues.

Be aware that it’s entirely possible you are encouraging a high level of dependency. If the staff get the impression that even relatively minor things need to cleared by or double checked by you, they’re not going to bother even trying. I’m not saying you definitely are doing this or that if you are it’s deliberate, however when people feel micro managed they often end up deciding to skip the bit where they use their own initiative and just go straight to the manager. Worth having an honest think about whether you need to be more hands off in some areas.

It's not good to never get any down time and being always available does lead to people having an expectation of you always being on hand. Its hard to find a good balance as you obviously want to help the team, I went full throttle when I started in my management role some years ago and couldn't stop checking emails at all hours 'just in case' but I burnt out eventually and now I turn off emails on devices have a handful of people that have my personal number and I feel like a new person. Far more productive and much lower stress levels :)