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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy a second hand wedding dress? Would you?

83 replies

Galwayg · 21/04/2022 10:25

We are working with a short timescale to plan our wedding. One bridal shop I have contacted has said their designers wouldn’t be able to do anything in our time frame so it would only be the ‘off the rack’ dresses available. Another has said they could do it (just) but there would be rush fees involved.

I’ve always liked one particular dress and have found that exact dress second hand online for a fraction of the price it would be new. Not to mention the fact I couldn’t physically get it new at the moment.

Do I pay the rush fee for a different dress new or go for my dream dress second hand? The only one thing holding me back from buying it is in case someone asks about it. Where did you buy it? Did you have a lot of fittings etc? 🙈 what would I say?

OP posts:
Ifailed · 21/04/2022 10:26

Why not, you'll probably only wear it once?

ThreeLittleDots · 21/04/2022 10:27

You proudly say it was second-hand actually and saved you a fortune!

No shame in not buying new.

VapeVamp12 · 21/04/2022 10:27

Do it. 100% if its your dream dress.

godmum56 · 21/04/2022 10:28

i think its a win win win idea...your ideal dress at a reduced price and environmentally responsible. For the quadruple win, sell it on or donate it afterwards.

LockdownLisa · 21/04/2022 10:28

I'd say I bought it second hand/preloved! Why is it embarrassing? Wedding dresses cost a fortune so if you can save £100s on something that's probably been worn once for a few hours, why wouldn't you?

ThreeLittleDots · 21/04/2022 10:30

Do it quickly before someone else snaps it up!

SilverTotoro · 21/04/2022 10:31

Go for it - Why pay more for a new dress that’s not your dream dress! It’s also better for the environment anyone asks just tell them, or say you found it online!

OllyBJolly · 21/04/2022 10:32

I did. Bought a £1400 Charlotte Balbier dress from Ebay for £90. Alterations cost £30. Stunning if I say so myself...

Hillarious · 21/04/2022 10:32

For too many, it's only once you've worn your brand new wedding dress you properly realise buying second hand would have made much more sense.

EvilPea · 21/04/2022 10:34

Of course.
why waste the money? Earths resources etc to make a new one. There’s some beautiful dresses out there, if it’s the one you want. Get it.

don’t a few charity shops have bridal shops now?

Original poster
Galwayg · 21/04/2022 10:34

@OllyBJolly oh wow! Did you sell it after? I’m actually thinking it could just about cost me nothing if I sold it after 😂 We’re not doing much else traditional or formal about the wedding so I don’t see why not. Did anyone ask?

OP posts:
Chely · 21/04/2022 10:34

Nobody asked where I got my wedding dress from. Go with the one you love.

ApolloandDaphne · 21/04/2022 10:38

There is no shame in buying second hand. It is better in every way. Just be honest if people ask. I would delight in telling people that got my dream dress for a bargain price!

OverByYer · 21/04/2022 10:39

People don’t ask where you dress is from they will just tell you how beautiful you look in it. No shame in buying a pre-loved dress. Great for the environment!

NotAScoobyToBeSeen · 21/04/2022 10:39

Yes quick!! If anyone does ask (I wasnt asked and dont think its typical) but you can say its eco friendly to buy 2nd hand and saves money to spend other elements for the wedding/honeymoon

BakeOffRewatch · 21/04/2022 10:40

Yes I got my monsoon bridal dress off gumtree for half rrp. Alterations were £150 though. Decade ago. No one needs to know really?

KangarooKenny · 21/04/2022 10:40

Yes. No need to tell anyone.

OllyBJolly · 21/04/2022 10:41

@Galwayg Still in the wardrobe after 9 years! Bottom of it got a bit muddy and I did take it to the dry cleaners who said it would need a specialist cleaner.

I told everyone! Mine was also a casual wedding - most of the guests were in shorts (or kilts). Hope you get the perfect dress and have a wonderful wedding

AmbushedByCake · 21/04/2022 10:42

My wedding dress was the shop sample, so it had been worn by loads of people. Saved me loads and it was fabulous.

RJnomore1 · 21/04/2022 10:43

How is this even a question ! You can have the dress you really really want for not a lot of money or pay through the nose for something you don’t like as much?

EggBurger · 21/04/2022 10:44

My dd bought second hand and was so pleased with it she told everybody who would listen. The fit was perfect for her, so why not?

edwinbear · 21/04/2022 10:47

Yes, I absolutely would. You wear it for one day, and if it's your dream dress, surely it's better to have that, with you looking fabulous in all the photos, than to have a new dress you don't feel so wonderful in, just for the sake of having something new which then sits in a box under your bed for 18 years

Fabpinky · 21/04/2022 10:48

Absolutely!! And show us a pic

catscatscatseverywhere · 21/04/2022 10:51

I did it. Paid third of a price. I had to make small alterations, but still, I saved a fortune. I also kept the dress, because I didn't pay the full price. If I bought normal price, I would probably try to sell it to at least get some money back.

Rainbowqueeen · 21/04/2022 10:57

I would absolutely buy it second hand.

ive never asked anyone where they got their dress from - have you? If someone asks just say “oh yes it’s a Valentino/Vera wang/local designer gown, I’ve always loved it, my favourite thing about it is the beading/sparkle/neckline “. Then you’ve moved the topic on and it’s unlikely they will ask again. You’re likely to need alterations so just answer about that as if you’re talking about fittings