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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy a second hand wedding dress? Would you?

83 replies

Galwayg · 21/04/2022 10:25

We are working with a short timescale to plan our wedding. One bridal shop I have contacted has said their designers wouldn’t be able to do anything in our time frame so it would only be the ‘off the rack’ dresses available. Another has said they could do it (just) but there would be rush fees involved.

I’ve always liked one particular dress and have found that exact dress second hand online for a fraction of the price it would be new. Not to mention the fact I couldn’t physically get it new at the moment.

Do I pay the rush fee for a different dress new or go for my dream dress second hand? The only one thing holding me back from buying it is in case someone asks about it. Where did you buy it? Did you have a lot of fittings etc? 🙈 what would I say?

OP posts:
Thestoppedfan · 21/04/2022 11:00

I won mine in a raffle from the bridal shop so it was technically new but I would definitely look second hand.

Mine should have cost £2000 and I’ve dry cleaned it and you wouldn’t know it has been worn. It’s such a lot of money for something to be worn for a few hours!

veronicagoldberg · 21/04/2022 11:06

I wore my mum's! Luckily it was a 60s style one that looked retro rather than out of fashion!

Rosehugger · 21/04/2022 11:07

Yes, definitely. You could get a lovely designer dress for a lot less. I got mine for a huge discount in a sale.

SVRT19674 · 21/04/2022 11:11

I always think of Penelope Cruz. When she wasn´t famous she saw this dress in Los Angeles, a 1950s dress and told whoever was with her that one day she would wear it to the Oscars. She did. You don´t call it second-hand, you call it "vintage", pronounced the French way...😜

Elphame · 21/04/2022 11:21

I would buy the second hand dress in a heartbeat.

Why spend a fortune on something you don't like as much, as well as saving you some money and reducing your environmental impact.

EmbroidedFlowers · 21/04/2022 11:22

Yes you should do it ☺️ I bought mine second hand for £100. It was originally a couple of thousand brand new. I just had it adjusted and it was perfect. I don't regret it at all and am happy I saved the money.

Cakecakecheese · 21/04/2022 11:33

I don't get why it would be an issue, do you have friends or family who would be sniffy about it? If so buy the dress and just don't invite them 😁 My friend managed to get a beautiful dress off Wish, no one would have guessed and no one asked where it was from.

If I could find the sort of dress I want second hand I'd buy it immediately!

10HailMarys · 21/04/2022 11:57

Loads of brides buy their wedding dresses second-hand! Absolutely no shame in it whatsoever. My sister sold hers to a friend of a friend who was absolutely thrilled because it was exactly the style she wanted and she hadn't been able to find anything quite like it in the bridal shops. Obviously it also meant it was a bargain but that wasn't actually her motive for buying it; it was genuinely her dream dress.

ChimChimeny · 21/04/2022 12:01

I wish I had! What a waste of £900 😫a charity shop near me has loads for sale for £200-300 which I wish I'd known about back then!

Hullabaloo31 · 21/04/2022 12:05

I didn't, but I did sell mine afterwards. Couldn't bear the thought of shoving such a lovely dress in a box or up the loft. So I sold it to a lovely lady and it had anther go!

UseOfWeapons · 21/04/2022 12:06

I wore my mum’s wedding dress for my first marriage. Much better quality, and simple, unlike the flouncy, meringue-type stuff that was around at the time. Why wouldn’t you get a secondhand dress, no downsides…and I wouldn’t give a stuff about what anyone else thought, just tell the truth and have what you like.

IncompleteSenten · 21/04/2022 12:07

Absolutely yes.
It's such a shame these (usually) beautiful dresses only get worn once.

CoastalWave · 21/04/2022 12:08

Mine was the shop sample. I paid £500 for it instead of £1800! The shop had it professionally cleaned for me. You would never ever have known it wasn't 'new'

muddyford · 21/04/2022 12:38

No one ever asked where my dress came from. If they had done, I would have smiled enigmatically and glided away!

loveisanopensore · 21/04/2022 12:42

Do it if it's the dress you want.

Some people can be a bit odd about second hand but that is very much their problem.

Querty123456 · 21/04/2022 12:49

I had a new wedding dress, what a waste of £1500. Looking back it’s completely ridiculous.

Dasher789 · 21/04/2022 13:38

I bought a £5k Suzanne neville dress and veil on ebay for £800, I think alterations were around £80 and £20 to have it steamed. It was my dream dress and I couldn't have justified or afforded the full price. I knew as soon as I saw it that it was the dress for me. No one asked me where I got it or how many alterations I had? Strange question, I'd never think to ask a bride where they had gotten their dress

AnwenDolly · 21/04/2022 15:33

I bought mine from a woman who meant to lose weight before her wedding, but didn't lose enough. So, although secondhand, it had only ever been tried on.

It was exactly the dress I wanted and I have never seen another one I liked better. There would have been no justification for buying a dress I liked less just because it was new.

I am waiting to get it cleaned now so I can donate it to our local hospice charity wedding dress shop.

Original poster
Galwayg · 22/04/2022 15:28

@Dasher789 that’s a steal! No me neither but it has came up in conversation after friend’s wedding days etc. I have been to a bridal shop to try on dresses just to check that’s definitely the style I want so at least I’d have that as a story to move the conversation on if it ever came up

OP posts:
Original poster
Galwayg · 22/04/2022 15:29

@AnwenDolly oh wow, poor lady but lucky you! 😂 I think this must happen a lot!

OP posts:
Original poster
Galwayg · 22/04/2022 15:31

Thanks for everyone’s hugely positive comments 😊 it seems my number one issue is what to say if anyone was to ask, which it doesn’t seem like they will. I can’t lie and say I got it from a particular shop as all the shops local to me are the same ones everyone goes to. I think I will say the make, say nothing and if anyone pushes for an answer (unlikely) then I’ll just say I managed to find it off the rack online and due to timescales from brexit etc I wasn’t going to be able to get it anywhere else!

I have ordered the dress, thank you 😍

OP posts:
Pugfostermum · 22/04/2022 15:36

I got my designer dress for a fraction of the price from Facebook.
It was in perfect condition and fit me like a glove - I didn’t need any alterations and I looked amazing.
I loved it and loved the price!
I was happy to tell people, but tbh I can’t imagine people will be asking about shops/fittings etc - no one else is that interested in your dress. 🙂

Dasher789 · 22/04/2022 15:39

@galwayg yes that's such a good way of dealing with it. Just say the brand if anyone asks and if the one you bought needs fitting, just take it to a local tailor rather than a specialist bridal shop and your alterations will be a fraction of the price too. Congratulations on saying yes to the dress and best wishes for your big day!

Pigeoning · 22/04/2022 15:40

Yep. Mine was £90, vintage.

stayingontop · 22/04/2022 15:40

I bought second hand off Facebook marketplace.
It was £8k in shop brand new, and I bought it for £250 (plus signed postage) and had my aunty (not a seamstress at all) do some alterations and honestly I loved it!

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