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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To buy a second hand wedding dress? Would you?

83 replies

Galwayg · 21/04/2022 10:25

We are working with a short timescale to plan our wedding. One bridal shop I have contacted has said their designers wouldn’t be able to do anything in our time frame so it would only be the ‘off the rack’ dresses available. Another has said they could do it (just) but there would be rush fees involved.

I’ve always liked one particular dress and have found that exact dress second hand online for a fraction of the price it would be new. Not to mention the fact I couldn’t physically get it new at the moment.

Do I pay the rush fee for a different dress new or go for my dream dress second hand? The only one thing holding me back from buying it is in case someone asks about it. Where did you buy it? Did you have a lot of fittings etc? 🙈 what would I say?

OP posts:

backtobusy · 22/04/2022 15:42

I wore a 1940's wedding dress, I don't know how many women wore it in the past.
I loved it.

I hope you love your dress too OP.

Soultrader · 22/04/2022 15:45

Tell them it's vintage if anyone asks! Its much more acceptable these days to buy wedding dresses second hand.

mast0650 · 22/04/2022 15:49

Absolutely I would! Why wouldn't you??? I think it is a brilliant thing to do anyway. Better for your budget, better for the planet. And in your case it's your dream dress which you can't get new! I don't understand your shyness about people knowing it is second hand. I'd be proud of it, personally! (though I doubt it will come up much if you don't want it too). I often buy second hand clothes and am always happy to tell people. My wedding dress was proper vintage (1930s)

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 22/04/2022 16:01

Say you did the ecologically responsible thing and bought a vintage dress. But why waste money if you can get what you want?

MirandaWest · 22/04/2022 16:02

My wedding dress was second hand. Took a gamble buying it but it was perfect 😊

SarahShorty · 22/04/2022 16:05

Mine was secondhand. I had to take it to get adjusted as it was a touch too small, otherwise it was perfect. Probably one of the best purchases I've ever made!

user3199 · 22/04/2022 16:07

I would very proudly tell people it was second hand. Go for it!

sorryforswearing · 22/04/2022 16:11

I definitely would. I'd probably ask if it had been cleaned mainly because of hem. If it needs it it's about £200 (I've been told) but you'd probably still get a bargain.

Ragwort · 22/04/2022 16:12

Of course you should, the charity I work for has a number of lovely Bridal boutiques... we were also just donated a beautiful sample dress ... original price would be £1500 .

UnaOfStormhold · 22/04/2022 16:14

Totally - I got mine in an Oxfam bridal shop and loved it.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 22/04/2022 16:23

AmbushedByCake · 21/04/2022 10:42

My wedding dress was the shop sample, so it had been worn by loads of people. Saved me loads and it was fabulous.

Same! It was a bloody bargain.

The dream dress is a no brainer, OP. A fraction of the RRP and your actual fantasy dress?! Buy it, wear it, love it and sell it or donate afterwards. Feel great about the environmental and financial savings and feel fabulous in the knowledge that you didn’t compromise the dream.

You will have to have fittings, possibly a cleaning and maybe a repair (mine needed a bit of beading on the bodice repairing), so that can be discussed with nosy parkers/curious minds, if you don’t want to tell re the sourcing of the dress.

AmbushedByCake1 · 22/04/2022 16:26

I did! I was so proud of it too. Nothing wrong with a bit of preloved. I loved a dress and found it less than half price, it was immaculate and I was made up.

Felt like fate.

I felt sick at the thought of spending a grand on a dress I would wear once. Don't regret buying second hand for a minute.

backtobusy · 22/04/2022 16:30

Also if it is good enough for a princess it's good enough for the rest of the us, even if we aren't rewearing the Queen's clothes.

Blossomtoes · 22/04/2022 16:32

backtobusy · 22/04/2022 16:30

Also if it is good enough for a princess it's good enough for the rest of the us, even if we aren't rewearing the Queen's clothes.

I was just going to say if it’s good enough for Princess Beatrice!

Blossomandbee · 22/04/2022 16:32

My wedding dress was second hand, I wasn't going to pay hundreds for something I wore for a few hours at most. I was happy to tell people too, who cares what anyone thinks.

I would say though, I recommend trying on dresses first to check the style suits you.

BowtieBling · 22/04/2022 16:34

I wish I'd bought second hand for my wedding. I cringe at the thought of how much my only worn once, shoved in the loft dress cost.

TokyoSushi · 22/04/2022 16:35

You definitely should. My wedding dress was £1500. I wore it for 8 hours and it's been in our loft for almost 12 years. What an absolute waste, I'd certainly buy a second hand one now, it's very likely to have only been worn once!

MrsClatterbuck · 22/04/2022 16:41

Attending a wedding years ago I discovered that the bride whose dress was stunning had actually hired it. Think I was in the ladies when this came up. I certainly didn't initiate the conversation. Not sure how it did. I may have been just admiring her dress and she decided to tell us this. Certainly wouldn't have thought any less of her if she had decided to keep this information to herself. Her business after all. I have never thought of asking a bride where she got her dress or how many fittings did she have as I would consider that a bit rude and none of my business unless that information was proffered.

BovrilonToast · 22/04/2022 16:45

Mine was second hand and I told everyone! If you are near to Kent, Bride’s Dress Revisited sells the most amazing second hand dresses - that’s where I got mine.

soupmaker · 22/04/2022 16:45

Hope it's perfect when it arrives OP. I've never understood spending 000's on a dress to be worn once unless you can actually afford it.

I had mine made for me by a local dress maker. I took in a dress I loved and she made me the most fabulous 1950's style cream satin dress with a big net underskirt. It had some beading on it and was completely bespoke! Whole outfit including shoes and my headpiece (from BHS!) cost less than £350 10 years ago. DHs outfit cost more!

After the event a few girlfriends asked where I'd got it. When I told them and how much it'd all cost they were gobsmacked!

Call it vintage, bespoke, whatever!

Katyrosebug · 22/04/2022 16:46

Hi op, we decided to get married and do it with 10 weeks to plan everything, I was lucky enough my friend begged to get me at a bridal shop and there was a dress I fell in love with, I'd also seen some second hand ones and there really are some beautiful ones online, have a look on fb Market place

Toddlerteaplease · 22/04/2022 16:47

I'd be seriously impressed with your bargain hunting skills. I love an eBay bargain!

HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 22/04/2022 16:49

This was my exact situation.. I ha dry heart on a dress but it couldn't be made in the time I needed it. Got it second hand and loved it

Coolwaterscoolcool · 22/04/2022 16:58

Just say it’s vintage!

Clarinet1 · 22/04/2022 17:02

One of the charity shops near me actually makes a point about passing on the romance and love to the next bride who wears the dress - I think the even display photos of the previous wedding. I think that’s rather a sweet idea. I’ve never been married myself but I would definitely consider vintage/second hand.

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