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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To loathe and detest co sleeping with every fibre of my being and don’t understand why most of MN appear to love it?

72 replies

Blueberrystrawberry · 21/04/2022 07:25

My toddler detests his cot and screams until I take him into bed with me, where I am kicked, punched, shoved into a tiny corner of the bed and expected to stay there dead still until morning

I think I missed how natural it is, it doesn’t feel remotely natural!

OP posts:

NiceTwin · 21/04/2022 07:27

I loved it because it was the difference between a.good nights sleep or being up and down.
It won't last forever.

pilates · 21/04/2022 07:30

I agree, but I am a light sleeper and the slightest movement would wake me up.

IntergalacticChrist · 21/04/2022 07:30

I felt like that with my first two. Neither have ever slept a night in my bed. With my 3rd I've had no choice - survival has dictated that she co sleep and feed all night. That said, she is only 6 months and I'm planning to get her into her own bed before 12 months. No way having a toddler in my bed!

JayAlfredPrufrock · 21/04/2022 07:31

Loved it. Big bed. I got some sleep.

riotlady · 21/04/2022 07:31

YANBU to not enjoy it but presumably the people who do are not being punched all night! Is there room for some sort of pillow barrier?

My DD is 4 and when she comes into our bed at night she often pulls my arm around her and snuggles in and it melts my heart.

pictish · 21/04/2022 07:33

It was never for me. Too wriggly and restless while I always ended up boiling.
Cuddly naps, yes. Co-sleeping NO.

HumunaHey · 21/04/2022 07:33

I think most people enjoy cosleeping with ypung babies. Not so much toddlers.

Twattergy · 21/04/2022 07:36

People who love it are the 10% who happen to have a child that sleeps still, deeper and better when they co sleep. That is not most children. Certainly wasn't mine. I liked it once he was 7 plus on the occasion that is happens though, a bit of a treat!

Camomila · 21/04/2022 07:38

I love it but my DC both sleep perfectly still (and I can roll them to the bit of the bed I want!)

ShowOfHands · 21/04/2022 07:41

Aah such is life. Everybody dislikes some things which other people enjoy.

I adored co sleeping. There are other things I didn't like so I simply didn't do them.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 21/04/2022 07:42

It made her sleep. Honestly, when you have a 2yo who has never slept through the night and there is something that allows you and her to sleep just a bit longer you take it. She didn't kick or punch though.

JurasicPerks · 21/04/2022 07:42

It was the only way to keep DS1 asleep for longer than 7 seconds. So getting to sleep in 30 minute blocks was awesome, hence cosleeping was awesome.

DS2 slept in chunks of a couple of hours from birth. Co sleeping wasnt great, as I slept better without him in bed (even tho he was the least restless sleeper).

Matchingcollarandcuffs · 21/04/2022 07:43

I hated it but with a baby/toddler that fed every hour and a 2+3 year old to look after it helped marginally. He had health issues that meant we couldn't wean.

Went to GP when he was 2 with suspected PND, ego when he find out I was still feeding hourly said 'you're not depressed just bloody knackered' and gave me phenergen for the DC and a recommendation for Ferber.

Moved him into his own bed that night, goodness the glorious freedom.

YANBU

Vikinga · 21/04/2022 07:46

Loved it with 3 of mine because we slept brilliantly. But one of them was super restless and we woke each other up, so she went in her cot from a few months old.

miltonj · 21/04/2022 07:46

Yeah my 19 month old doesn't unlatch from the breast whilst co sleeping so I'm forced into the sane uncomfortable position. If I unlatch her or roll over, she wakes up and jumps on my head saying 'mamma milk please' she's been like this for a long time, it's not a peaceful experience. We only do it for a couple of hours in the morning tho as she wakes too early.

artisanbread · 21/04/2022 07:47

I didn't love it but I did prefer it to not sleeping which seemed to be the only other option with DC2.

PaperTyger · 21/04/2022 07:49

Op you poor thing! Expected too stay there dead untill morning 😂

I adored it but with a special cot attached to the bed which was large And had her own space!

IwaswhoIam · 21/04/2022 07:54

I loved it because it meant more sleep however we stopped at 12 months because like you my (barely) toddler was kicking me and keeping me up . I wasn’t sleeping anymore . We transitioned him to the crib pretty effortlessly although he’s 17 months now and still wakes 1-2 times a night BUT I’m still sleeping more than towards the end of our co sleeping journey . I won’t be having a third baby but if I did I would definitely consider co sleeping again .

RonObvious · 21/04/2022 08:03

Twattergy · 21/04/2022 07:36

I was in this 10%. My son sleeps like a Disney character - all curled up with hands folded sweetly under his head. He never kicked or pushed, just gently snuggled into me. My daughter on the other hand is the queen of the starfish, and hates being covered with blankets all nights, so will flip the covers off everyone and plonk her legs down on them. Fortunately, she was never a fan of co-sleeping.

underneathleaf · 21/04/2022 08:07

I could never understand when people talked about the baby/toddler just latching on and off through the night whilst they slept. I breastfed mine past a year, including getting up for night feeds throughout, but found it massively distracting to have a baby feeding, no way could I sleep through it!

Bornsloppy · 21/04/2022 08:10

I hate it. I sometimes get into bed with DC1 as it's the only way to get any sleep and it's like sleeping with an aggressive octopus.

MRex · 21/04/2022 08:14

Mine squashes in cuddling me, so I sometimes have to move him across the bed say once each night to get enough space to sleep. He's never kicked nor punched though, he's sleeping quite peacefully. I had a next-to-me crib with dreams of how safe yet effective it would be. As another poster said, my choice with him turned out to be co-sleep or no sleep, so co-sleep was the option I picked. He's been put in his own bed a few times for a few weeks or months at a time, but it never lasts past the next development leap. One day he'll stay out and I'll miss him.

DarkCorner · 21/04/2022 08:24

I occasionally enjoyed the closeness but found also at times found it really suffocating and felt really touched out. I did love that it got me a bit more sleep than 2 hrs a night though! Second baby didn’t need it and it is great to have a bit of time in the evenings. Co sleeping with my first was just the less bad of 2 options.

Abouttimemum · 21/04/2022 08:29

No thank you. He has his own bed.
also we have tried it a few times when he’s been restless or coming down with illness, and after 20 minutes of us all cuddling and trying to get comfortable, it’s usually him (he’s 3) that says ‘can I go to bed now please’ ha.
it works for some and not for others, as with most parenting choices!

peachgreen · 21/04/2022 08:32

I quite liked it in the early mornings but otherwise I agree, it's hideous. I had very bad PND and my HV and mental health team insisted I move DD into her own room at 4 months (she had grunting baby syndrome so even when she was asleep, I couldn't sleep!) and honestly it was the best thing I ever did. I was so reluctant but eventually they said it was that or I would have to be hospitalised which persuaded me.

She's 4 now and I love that odd night that she comes into my bed, but she doesn't like it much - usually she pads back to her own bed of her own accord. I think I wriggle too much for her! 😂

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