To think that not many people live an average life anymore?

[Meandbee22]

I turned 25 last week and am currently 15 weeks pregnant with my first child- I’m worrying how we’re going to afford life when the baby’s here. I live in quite an average area (covid made the house prices rise quite a lot though) but have noticed that so many people seem to live extravagant lifestyles now- it’s almost like you’re either very well off or struggling quite a lot with money. Whenever a house gets sold within days there’s builders in ripping the place apart and having the place completely redone- no one seems to just move in anymore. Most people seem to drive mercs or BMW’s- no one really has an average car anymore. Lots of people take their kids out to eat at the Ivy a lot around here- no one seems to take their kids to McDonald’s anymore! I grew up in an average family and I grew up in the 2000s so I’m not feeling nostalgic over the simplicity of the 90s (was only born in 97 so don’t have any memories of the 90s). My dad worked full time and my mum worked part time but we had a nice average life- we had a PlayStation and went on a uk caravan holiday every other year and went to McDonald’s on our birthdays and just did normal things like that- we didn’t buy much, but today the Amazon delivery driver more or less lives on my street he’s here so often! I am worried that I can’t afford much for my child and they will see other children with all these exciting things. I was just wondering if anyone else had felt similar

If you are going to compare (which honestly is a bad idea) then do make sure you are comparing like w like. My much younger colleague with 2 under 2 was asking how we afford this and that and saying that there was no way she could do likewise and I was sat thinking "well neither could I at your age or stage of life ."

Agree with porcupine. Big difference between 25 and 35, for different reasons, in our household.

Pay rises, promotions, savings, good investment choices, kids starting school, and my business has evolved and expanded lately etc.

posted too soon... meaning things are very different now to what they were like then.

I’m in Ireland where we’ve had huge fluctuations in the property market over the last two decades.

At one point we seriously considered moving house because the property market had fallen sharply and houses that had been worth millions had dropped to within our reach, whereas our mid-level house had only dropped by a much smaller amount.

There was one particular area where every house seemed to have been renovated “to the highest standard” with hand crafted this, and finest Italian that and at the very least a swimming pool in the basement. Beautiful properties but it was very telling that so many of them were coming to market. People who are over extended don’t weather recessions well.

There are millions who are over extended because of poverty but if you’re lucky enough to be able to consider yourself “average”, you’re in a different bracket.

Being the kind of person who lives a simple life and saves, rather than one who stretches and pays off as much credit as possible every month, is a far better choice in the long run. And having that choice is a great privilege.

It sounds as if your house is appreciating from how you’ve described your neighbours. So instead of measuring your lifestyle against theirs look a little deeper.

I live in what is called a "deprived" area but I also think people here seems quite well off in comparison to say 20 years ago infact I posted about this not too long ago. Loads of brand new cars holidays abroad every year, kids in designer clothes etc. Probably not as well off as the people in your area but yes people are much better off.

When I was a kid, eating out was a rare occurrence, maybe a handful of times a year. These days it seems that people expect to eat out several times a month at the very least, and have takeaways in between as well.

Things have changed a lot in recent years.

We have a few neighbours who like to drive the latest merc or a
BMW and are constantly undertaking home improvements. They also talk themselves up a lot. I’m reality, their houses are tiny, their kids sleep in box rooms and they spend most weekends ‘partying’ in a car port as they have no money to go anywhere,.

I’m under the impression they’ve chosen that lifestyle due to a lack of confidence and material things are incredibly important to them as they’ve never had any money.

Most people seem to drive mercs or BMW’s- no one really has an average car anymore.

The car thing is a bit of a funny one.

Basically car finance plans made buying brand new cars appear "affordable" by spreading the cost. The odd bit is because you are really just financing the depreciation, because fancy brands depreciate less, there's surprisingly little monthly cost difference between (say) a citroen (depreciates rapidly) and a BMW (depreciates less).

People are too short sighted to work out that getting a brand new premium marque car every 3 or 4 years, their total cost of ownership is going to be much higher than buying a second hand modest brand car.

Ps. I drive a Mazda, so I buck that trend nicely!

Don't compare what you have with anyone. When it comes to your child you are already in a position to meet all their needs,food, shelter, warmth, clothing, security, time and love. You don't seem to live in an average area but you can live an average life if you don't try to compete with neighbours and understand that it's OK to simply have "enough"

I live in an affluent area where people like to flash their cash, extend their homes to the max, holiday multiple times per year etc and many people probably think we’re relatively poor. We’re not, we just aren’t into eating out every weekend, new cars or having the largest house possible.
I don’t think you can always judge wealth on spending patterns.

People are too short sighted to work out that getting a brand new premium marque car every 3 or 4 years, their total cost of ownership is going to be much higher than buying a second hand modest brand car

For us, it wasn’t that we were ‘short sighted’… we needed a new car in a hurry, we didn’t have the capital available to buy a second hand one, but could manage the monthly repayments on a leased car. Yes it’ll cost us more in the long run but we didn’t have much of a choice at that moment in time.

Ours isn’t ‘premium’ though, it’s just a car.

Wow I live in quite a fancy bit of London but I don't know anyone who takes their kids to posh restaurants.

I'd say 25 is young to have kids nowadays, I was just at the start of my career then so not earning a lot. People around me are usually in their 40s with young kids so have build up more money I'd say.....

It’s possible they may be looking at you thinking you are wealthy, affording to have a baby at only 25 as many people aren’t able to do that until 35. Yet you don’t seem to class yourself as wealthy. As po have said, don’t make comparisons, just get on with your own life.

Waving to you from where I stand. I do have average life. Driving VW, renting the house and watching my expenses. Don't compare yourself to others, that's first thing. You're still very young. If you look carefully, it's mostly middle aged people who drive expensive cars. If it's someone young, most likely the car is leased. Don't worry. It's not like you're average and others make £100 k annually, not less. Society is so much in debt, that it's actually depressing.

Yeah we were skint at 25, absolutely couldn’t have afforded to have children!

You are having children at a younger age than average so that will also likely mean parenting on a lower income as you and your partner will be earlier in your career (assuming he is roughly your age).

Also younger parenting means less time to have inherited money ... the older you are, the more likely you are to have inherited something from parents or grandparents.

Most people in my small street have inherited money, own mortgages paid off. Many own a second home here or abroad. They all rent their main and most expensive car and then have 2 or 3 other cars all with personalised number plates. Builders here all the time, everyone eats out, holidays, constant events parties etc., if a house becomes vacant it'll be snapped up by existing home-owners and rented out. One of the neighbours told me they'd just inherited over £1m from the sale of their family home. Interesting thing though this is a traditionally very white van man type area - lots of trades.

I agree with you OP, it does seem like a "thing".

The leasing thing is often misunderstood.
Second hand cars at the moment are ridiculously expensive. I'd have to take out a fairly large loan to buy a decent car that i could trust. The monthly payments on that loan would be the same if not more than my leasing cost. Plus all maintenance is included, so all tyres, services etc. By the time I'd paid off a loan, the car will have depreciated massively, plus all the repair costs on top.
As a single parent I'd had enough of shitting myself once a year at MOT time, wondering where I was going to find an extra 400 or whatever for brakes or a new exhaust.
Leasing gives me peace of mind and no nasty surprises!

@TaketheTrain

The leasing thing is often misunderstood. Second hand cars at the moment are ridiculously expensive. I'd have to take out a fairly large loan to buy a decent car that i could trust. The monthly payments on that loan would be the same if not more than my leasing cost. Plus all maintenance is included, so all tyres, services etc. By the time I'd paid off a loan, the car will have depreciated massively, plus all the repair costs on top. As a single parent I'd had enough of shitting myself once a year at MOT time, wondering where I was going to find an extra 400 or whatever for brakes or a new exhaust. Leasing gives me peace of mind and no nasty surprises!

Exactly this. Leasing worked out better for us.

It also means that it’s picked up from our house for an annual service, and dropped back at the end of the day.
If I had all the money in the world I’d probably still lease a car. It’s convenient.

I tried to buy a second hand car recently. I couldn’t find one that cost less than a new car. The catch with the new car was that I had to order it and wait for it to show up at some unknown date in the future. It was a hassle, but worth the significant savings of buying used.

You need to come and live in our area! McDonald’s is a luxury treat!

The attitude to car leasing on here is really bizarre.
No one turns up their nose at renters for living in a house they can’t afford to buy .
We lease a car because a) we didn’t have the capital available to buy one outright and b) it’s easy and convenient. I have no interest in car ownership, I just want a vehicle to drive.