Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who should pay? Him or me?

64 replies

WhatIsThisPlease · 19/04/2022 11:34

Bought DS a car using trust fund money set up when he was a baby.

DP spent ages looking out for 'the right car' as apparently cars are his thing and DS and I didn't know what we were looking for. Fair enough.

Car had a fault light on the dash when we got it home. Garage said they were too busy to fix it but if we took it somewhere in the next 3 months and got it fixed, they'd pay.

DP has fannied about procrastinated over the last 3 months despite me regularly mentioning it.

Now the 3 months has lapsed and the garage is no longer obligated to pay. He's finally getting it sorted but says I have to pay because it's my DS's car (he is not DS's father).

DS is still at school with no means of paying it himself.

I'm so cross!! I got him to ring the garage a few weeks ago to clarify the exact date it needed fixing by and he still didn't do it!!!!! I'd have sorted myself but he likes to think that 'all things car' are his department.

OP posts:
Moochio · 19/04/2022 11:39

Why didn't DS sort it?

rubyslippers · 19/04/2022 11:39

You will end up paying
When it became clear after a month that your DP wouldn’t do this, why didn’t you? I think it’s a mess for no reason - why wouldn’t you and your DP help your son jointly?

Moochio · 19/04/2022 11:39

I mean he doesnt have the means of paying but he can book it in so DP can pay

44PumpLane · 19/04/2022 11:40

You pay.

After 2.5 months of badgering your partner it was clear he wasn't getting it sorted.

Surely you just ring a local garage, book it in and get a receipt?!

Your partner sounds frustrating but ultimately unless there is some major backstory about you having an inability to talk to strangers on the phone, then I think you needed to sort it for your son before the deadline passed.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 19/04/2022 11:40

Why didn't you book it in to get fixed when it became clear your DP wasn't going to bother?

It sounds like you've both faffed about and haven't done what you should have done.

rubyslippers · 19/04/2022 11:40

I also think it’s crap of the garage to sell a car and a warning light comes on immediately! They should have fixed it much more speedily

Moochio · 19/04/2022 11:40

Ultimately though you are responsible for your son

crabbitmaw · 19/04/2022 11:41

Well you need to pay as he has zero financial obligation to do so. If you knew the time was ticking on and he was useless, why didn't you take control of the situation and book it in to a garage? It really isnt a situation that requires a man, you know. You are equally (if not more) to blame as you were fully aware of the timescale and his failure to perform the task. So instead of making a simple phone call to a garage, you let the offer lapse and now complain about him.

YABVU

FairyCakeWings · 19/04/2022 11:41

If he took responsibility for sorting it out and then didn’t, he should pay.

If he refuses, then you stop buying him birthday/Christmas presents until it’s paid off.

girlmom21 · 19/04/2022 11:41

DP should pay but he won't.
Why buy a car for a child who's still in school?
There's going to be plenty more money you need to spend on it when he's ready to drive it.

TibetanTerrah · 19/04/2022 11:42

If he's taken over all things car then its his responsibility imo. 3 months is a long time and really you could have stepped in and sorted it, but if he's anything like some men I know who think they know everything about cars and a woman couldn't possibly he wouldn't have let you anyway.

Whatsmyname100 · 19/04/2022 11:44

Actually, if your ds is old enough to ve driving then the responsibility is on him to ensure this is sorted. And you pay, you had 3 whole months.

SickAndTiredAgain · 19/04/2022 11:46

It’s crap of him and I would be very annoyed, but I don’t understand why you (or your son) didn’t just take over and do it when it became clear your partner wasn’t getting it done? If your son is old enough to have a car, then he needs to take responsibility for maintenance.

KarmaStar · 19/04/2022 11:53

You both faffed to be honest.If I saw he wasn't going to do it I'd have done so.
However,if be more worried about the balance here

Original poster
WhatIsThisPlease · 19/04/2022 11:54

DS and I both said we would sort, even started ringing round looking for garages but DP said he would sort. He took it to a garage and they told him they couldn't do it and it needed to go somewhere else.

I thought he'd sorted it but today, when I've asked him when it's getting done he said he'd take it this morning for them to look at and that the guarantee offered by the garage had run out.

He literally does everything with the cars, even washes them because he says we don't do it properly so I just left this in his hands.

More fool me!!

I will end up paying as DP has no money. I'm just annoyed when he's been allegedly sorting it that he's actually done nothing and now the financial onus is on me.

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 19/04/2022 11:55

I don't understand why you just didn't return the car to the garage you bought it from to fix it ASAP. And why did you even buy a car that obviously wasn't going to be used?

SnowingInApril · 19/04/2022 11:57

He should pay.

Sally090807 · 19/04/2022 11:57

Why would you let your son drive a car with a fault light on for 3 months?

lemongreentea · 19/04/2022 11:59

What is the actual point of him?

Why are you still with him? He takes over, promises things he has no intention of delivering and sounds controlling. Plus he has no money.

Why are you still with him? I feel sorry for your son.

Original poster
WhatIsThisPlease · 19/04/2022 11:59

The fault light is at fault. It says there is an issue with tyre pressure when there isn't.

It needs resetting but apparently it's not as simple as it sounds.

Two garages have agreed there is no actual problem with the car.

OP posts:
Maydaysoonenough · 19/04/2022 12:00

My dh also screwed up something car related that resulted in £1200 costs. I made him pay.
Maybe consider if your dp is really d... Personally I hate false promises..

Itloggedmeoutagain · 19/04/2022 12:02

Did it take you 3 months to work out he wasn't going to sort it?

WhackingPhoenix · 19/04/2022 12:05

@WhatIsThisPlease

The fault light is at fault. It says there is an issue with tyre pressure when there isn't.

It needs resetting but apparently it's not as simple as it sounds.

Two garages have agreed there is no actual problem with the car.

So it has been seen in a garage then? And there is no problem to fix? That’s quite the drip feed in that case...what is he supposed to have booked it in for if there’s no problem? Confused
Original poster
WhatIsThisPlease · 19/04/2022 12:08

@WhackingPhoenix

He's supposed to be booking it in to get the fault light turned off.

That's the thing he's meant to have done but hasn't.

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 19/04/2022 12:10

DS and DP should pay between them. It's not your problem.

DS because it's his car and he is legally responsible for ensuring it is roadworthy.

DP because he said he was going to sort it and is apparently in charge of cars in the household.

I take it the tyre is not losing pressure and that it's not just a matter of pressing the tyre pressure warning button in the car?

If not the above, it might just need connecting to the computer, which garages will generally do for about £20. They haven't even bothered doing that?

Then what's the issue? If there's nothing wrong with the car, why is the light still coming on?

Sometimes these things are a nightmare, which are difficult to solve without speculatively replacing components, until you find what is causing the fault. This is what they should have done before the 3 months ran out and now they have a problem that could cause the car to fail it's MOT when that becomes due.

But it's their problem not yours. If DS is old enough to drive, he's old enough to take the lead in looking after his car.