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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who should pay? Him or me?

64 replies

WhatIsThisPlease · 19/04/2022 11:34

Bought DS a car using trust fund money set up when he was a baby.

DP spent ages looking out for 'the right car' as apparently cars are his thing and DS and I didn't know what we were looking for. Fair enough.

Car had a fault light on the dash when we got it home. Garage said they were too busy to fix it but if we took it somewhere in the next 3 months and got it fixed, they'd pay.

DP has fannied about procrastinated over the last 3 months despite me regularly mentioning it.

Now the 3 months has lapsed and the garage is no longer obligated to pay. He's finally getting it sorted but says I have to pay because it's my DS's car (he is not DS's father).

DS is still at school with no means of paying it himself.

I'm so cross!! I got him to ring the garage a few weeks ago to clarify the exact date it needed fixing by and he still didn't do it!!!!! I'd have sorted myself but he likes to think that 'all things car' are his department.

OP posts:
FloraPostePosts · 19/04/2022 12:11

@WhatIsThisPlease

The fault light is at fault. It says there is an issue with tyre pressure when there isn't.

It needs resetting but apparently it's not as simple as it sounds.

Two garages have agreed there is no actual problem with the car.

We had this issue with DH’s car - the garage reset it when they did the next service. It’s apparently quite common.
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 19/04/2022 12:14

So it has been seen in a garage then? And there is no problem to fix? That’s quite the drip feed in that case...what is he supposed to have booked it in for if there’s no problem?

The fault light is faulty - that IS a problem as it means when there is a genuine fault, you won't know as the light is always on anyway. Admittedly it's hardly a major issue but it does need to be fixed sooner rather than later.

I would have thought the car just needs to be hooked up to one of those machines that can reset it all, though? It shouldn't be a big job or an expensive one, which is maybe why garages can't be arsed with it, lol.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/04/2022 12:16

Why does DP have no money?

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 19/04/2022 12:19

I don't understand this... If DS has no mean of paying to maintain his car I'm assuming that he has no means to pay for tax/insurance /fuel. If you have agreed to pay for all of the above and have accepted responsibility for the maintenance then surely you pay?

Original poster
WhatIsThisPlease · 19/04/2022 12:19

The tyres are all fine but the fault light is proving really hard to sort. It's been hooked up to a diagnostic machine and turned off but came straight back on again

I think D(?)P said it might be a sensor on the valve?

DS has been learning to drive in it. He has a test next week (cancellation app found it for him this morning) but can't sit a test in a car with a warning light on. Hence it all coming to light this morning.

OP posts:
clpsmum · 19/04/2022 12:19

Why didn't you or your son sort it. You or your son should pay

Original poster
WhatIsThisPlease · 19/04/2022 12:20

Because DP said he was sorting it? 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
newbiename · 19/04/2022 12:21

You'll have to pay I think. However , you or your son should have booked it in to the original garage yourself , it's was clear your partner wasn't going to.
I'd also TELL him I'd be sorting out my own car myself in future.
DS needs take responsibility for his car.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 19/04/2022 12:22

@WhatIsThisPlease

Because DP said he was sorting it? 🤷‍♀️
Yes, but when he didn't, you should have taken responsibility for your sons' vehicle and taken it in to get fixed yourself.
IDidntKnowItWasAParty · 19/04/2022 12:22

DP sounds like a class-A dickhead. Why are you with someone so awful?

AryaStarkWolf · 19/04/2022 12:24

Why didn't you or your DS bring it to the garage? Why was it your DP responsibility? (If he was your sons dad I would think differently but he isn't)

clpsmum · 19/04/2022 12:26

@WhatIsThisPlease

Because DP said he was sorting it? 🤷‍♀️
And after two months of not sorting it surely you or your son would have?
Moochio · 19/04/2022 12:26

@WhatIsThisPlease

Because DP said he was sorting it? 🤷‍♀️
So? Why didn't you or DS say no that's fine we will sort it and just get it done? Especially if he needs it for his test.
mrsm43s · 19/04/2022 12:29

It wasn't your DP's responsibility to get it fixed in the first place, and it's not his responsibility to pay for it.

You or your DS should have sorted this 3 months ago.

flipflopping · 19/04/2022 12:33

Dp sounds like a real pillock. Why is he taking over everything?

Would suggest you take charge and get it fixed now. DP ought to pay as it's his fault you're being charged.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 19/04/2022 12:35

You pay for it and deduct the money from your DP's Christmas and birthday presents until it's paid off.

Original poster
WhatIsThisPlease · 19/04/2022 12:36

Yes, have now taken charge and will get fixed.

Genuinely didn't realise the 3 months had passed until this morning so that's on me.

Thanks for all the replies, I will never make this mistake again!!!

OP posts:
Moochio · 19/04/2022 12:37

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar

You pay for it and deduct the money from your DP's Christmas and birthday presents until it's paid off.
Or DS'S he should be looking after his own car
Essentialgarage · 19/04/2022 12:38

You are covered for six months. The garage can not specify three months. Ring them again and get it sorted.

Hankunamatata · 19/04/2022 12:39

After a month I would have took the matter out of his hands, booked it in a garage and got it fixed myself.

Brefugee · 19/04/2022 12:42

I think you need to take back ownership of your cars and tell DP to keep his beak out.

And if he's going to be like this in other areas? you should tell him to stop it. And then if he carries on you need to develop a strategy so you know the deadlines and he knows you will remind precisely once before taking care of it yourself.

I hope he has some other really good features because i couldn't live with this kind of idiocy.

RedskyThisNight · 19/04/2022 12:42

I don't understand why DS has a car he cannot afford to run and has no responsibility for.

Yes DP should have sorted it out if he said he would, but DS has also been very passive.

Personally I would take myself out of this equation and let DS sort it out.

Moochio · 19/04/2022 12:44

@RedskyThisNight

I don't understand why DS has a car he cannot afford to run and has no responsibility for.

Yes DP should have sorted it out if he said he would, but DS has also been very passive.

Personally I would take myself out of this equation and let DS sort it out.

I agree. And he certainly shouldn't be booking driving tests until he has sorted out his car.
kimbolo · 19/04/2022 12:55

@Whatsmyname100

Actually, if your ds is old enough to ve driving then the responsibility is on him to ensure this is sorted. And you pay, you had 3 whole months.
Was just coming on to say exactly the same thing.
Skyeheather · 19/04/2022 13:10

All three of you should pay a third each because you were all lazy and didn't bother to get it sorted in time. You were all equally capable of calling the garage to get it booked in!