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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

15 year old picking up sibling from nursery

73 replies

misssunshine4040 · 18/04/2022 19:34

I'm having an absolute nightmare with childcare at the moment.
My 4 year old is due to start school after the summer and I have his breakfast club and after school club all sorted for him.

Due to a change in circumstances, my current pick up from his nursery has fallen through and I also my childcare for the summer.

I am looking to enrol him full time private childcare until he's in school.

My responsible 15 year old looks after him a few hours a week after school when he is dropped off until my shift is finished etc.

Would it be unreasonable to think he could pick him up or drop him off to a childminder or nursery if I have an early or late finish?

Would this be against rules or would this be acceptable?

OP posts:

ComDummings · 18/04/2022 19:36

You need to ask the nursery, at my DCs they’d only release a child to an under 18yo if they were the child’s parent.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 18/04/2022 19:37

I'm a childminder and I wouldn't allow a 15 year old to collect sorry.

ComDummings · 18/04/2022 19:37

I imagine it may vary from place to place so there’s no harm asking around.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 18/04/2022 19:37

I don't think nursery are allowed to release a child to someone under 16. Certainly the case for our school nursery.

WotgunShedding · 18/04/2022 19:37

My nursery doesn’t allow under 18s to collect either

Chely · 18/04/2022 19:37

You'd have to ask them what their policy is.

Member869894 · 18/04/2022 19:37

I think its absolutely fine

Grapewrath · 18/04/2022 19:38

Most setting won’t allow a sibling under 16 (some are 18) to pick up a child tbh

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 18/04/2022 19:38

My nursery wouldn't allow it, my childminder did though.

Original poster

misssunshine4040 · 18/04/2022 19:39

His current school nursery won't release him to anyone under 16.

OP posts:

Camomila · 18/04/2022 19:39

They let siblings pick up at our primary school but nurseries may well have stricter rules as the DC are younger.

Fireintheloft · 18/04/2022 19:41

I'd be more than happy to let my 15y old pick up from nursery - you know your kid.

Jumpking · 18/04/2022 19:43

@Fireintheloft

I'd be more than happy to let my 15y old pick up from nursery - you know your kid.

This.

Would I be happy for the 17 yr old to do so? Much less so.

Original poster

misssunshine4040 · 18/04/2022 19:43

@Fireintheloft

I'd be more than happy to let my 15y old pick up from nursery - you know your kid.

I'm more than happy with it, but I'm worried it won't be allowed.

If I don't have a new childcare plan in place I will have to leave my job and wait until after summer to work again which I am terrified of.

I would be turning down a promotion also.
I have no other family I can rely on to help me

OP posts:

MJ123 · 18/04/2022 19:45

Yeah I guess it would vary place to place. Might be worth a ring?

It sounds like youre in a difficult spot but one thing I always mention on these threads is the impact on the teenager. I had to pick up my younger sibling and at first I really enjoyed it - I felt like the responsible one! Once I got to an age where my friends were going out from school/after school sports etc I very quickly came to resent it. It might be worth keeping an eye on your teen too.

Good luck!

Moochio · 18/04/2022 19:47

You'd have to ask each childcare provider their own T&C

savehannah · 18/04/2022 19:48

You would have to check the individual childcare setting's rules about this and unfortunately if they have a rule against it there's not a lot you can do. But my 15 year old babysits regularly, including walking reception/year 1 age children from an extra-curricular club to their house etc, so it is totally not ridiculous to think that this is perfectly safe if the 15 year old in question is responsible.
I would hope that a child-care setting would be ok with this, when the parent has given explicit permission, and it is the same 15 year old sibling collecting every time, not some random teenager. But I have frequently come across rules that defy common sense.

OfstedOffred · 18/04/2022 19:48

My childminder would allow this with a 4 year old due to start reception. But then her own teenage daughter occasionally babysits my children so she knows a sensible teen can be perfectly responsible in this situation.

I suspect a nursery won't, because it will be more about blanket policies and an individual won't have the scope to make a judgement call.

RewildingAmbridge · 18/04/2022 19:49

Ours won't let under eighteens collect unless the parent of the child.
Can you leave him at nursery until you can pick up? Most private nurseries are open until 6/7, or set of there's a local childminder who can pick up and take him home, it's only for the summer

edwinbear · 18/04/2022 19:52

DS (12) picks up DD (10) occasionally from her wrap around if I’m caught up at work. I did have to sign an indemnity and clearly DD is older. The wrap around club also know DS well as he attended the same one. You can only ask, I don’t think it would be unreasonable to.

Kanaloa · 18/04/2022 19:55

Most nurseries I’ve worked at wouldn’t allow it. I had one mum get really angry about it because her daughter was so responsible, trustworthy, babysits all the time etc - which was probably true! She seemed a lovely sensible girl. But it’s irrelevant because we were not allowed to have a child on the list of approved adults to pick up, and we were not allowed to release the child over to a 15 year old.

Made me chuckle at the time since I had my son at that age! I often wonder if he’d been in nursery what would have happened.

Original poster

misssunshine4040 · 18/04/2022 19:56

@MJ123

Yeah I guess it would vary place to place. Might be worth a ring?

Good luck!

You are so right to point this out and I have had this chat with my teen. He is more than happy and has essentially been doing it already as he simply picks up his brother from the family member that collects him from nursery.

He's keen enough and doesn't feel put upon, I would never make it his responsibility if he felt unhappy about it.

I'm really sad about this as I love my job but I have such a tight time frame to find childcare. There is no pick up and drop off at school and childminders are in very short supply.
Nursery's here are open until 5.45 6pm.
I will work some late shifts and early shifts which means I can't always drop him off and pick him up

OP posts:

Kanaloa · 18/04/2022 19:57

By the way - if your son is at a school nursery and you’re looking for him to be picked up by big brother and taken to childminder’s, would it be worth cutting out the middle man? Many childminders will do school pickups, if you find one that services that school they might be able to collect your younger son, at least for the summer. Worth asking anyway.

Sponge19 · 18/04/2022 19:58

Gosh no, so inappropriate. I doubt the nursery would allow this regardless. You need to check what their policy is

Invisibleandused · 18/04/2022 20:00

Would they need to know her age?

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