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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

15 year old picking up sibling from nursery

73 replies

misssunshine4040 · 18/04/2022 19:34

I'm having an absolute nightmare with childcare at the moment.
My 4 year old is due to start school after the summer and I have his breakfast club and after school club all sorted for him.

Due to a change in circumstances, my current pick up from his nursery has fallen through and I also my childcare for the summer.

I am looking to enrol him full time private childcare until he's in school.

My responsible 15 year old looks after him a few hours a week after school when he is dropped off until my shift is finished etc.

Would it be unreasonable to think he could pick him up or drop him off to a childminder or nursery if I have an early or late finish?

Would this be against rules or would this be acceptable?

OP posts:
Original poster
misssunshine4040 · 18/04/2022 20:01

@Sponge19

Gosh no, so inappropriate. I doubt the nursery would allow this regardless. You need to check what their policy is
So inappropriate? He's 16 in 3 months and the current nursery policy is 16 and over
OP posts:
Original poster
misssunshine4040 · 18/04/2022 20:03

@Kanaloa

By the way - if your son is at a school nursery and you’re looking for him to be picked up by big brother and taken to childminder’s, would it be worth cutting out the middle man? Many childminders will do school pickups, if you find one that services that school they might be able to collect your younger son, at least for the summer. Worth asking anyway.
Yes. I've tried this before as i wanted to do this before I had to ask family to collect him but there is no one who does it at his school and it wouldn't cover the summer holidays either.

I now need full time cover for summer with my older son being able to drop him off and pick him up to take him home sometimes but this is looking so unlikely now

OP posts:
mumwon · 18/04/2022 20:21

Its idiotic really - if a very young mum well under 16 can pick their child up - why can't a sibling IF THE MOTHER givers written permission

chesirecat99 · 18/04/2022 20:21

I would imagine drop off is different to pick ups from a legal perspective. During the day, your child is in their care so I guess they could be held responsible if they agree to hand over care of your child to a minor and something happens. In the morning, the child is in your care and not their responsibility until they arrive at nursery, it's nothing to do with them.

LidlMiddleLover · 18/04/2022 20:24

The nursery should never release him to a minor as this would be against their legal obligations

Groovee · 18/04/2022 20:29

In the nursery I work in, Children must be collected by someone over 16 unless they are the parent. It's a rule from our LA.

lameasahorse · 18/04/2022 20:31

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Original poster
misssunshine4040 · 18/04/2022 20:31

@lameasahorse

Can you lie about your DCs age?
Yes but I wouldn't feel at all comfortable with doing this 😢
OP posts:
lameasahorse · 18/04/2022 20:32

This reply has been withdrawn

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WeOnlyTalkAboutBruno · 18/04/2022 20:37

How ridiculous. If you’re happy what’s it to do with them

MolkosTeenageAngst · 18/04/2022 20:41

If he’s 16 in 3 months I would just lie about his age as honestly how much difference is that 3 months going to make? You’re the parent so if you’re happy with it I think it’s fine.

Invisibleandused · 18/04/2022 20:43

This is why I said would they need to know?

If they don't ask, and you don't mention it - I'm not sure why it would come up - unless she looks young? It's not exactly lying just not saying anything other than 'name' will be collecting my DD.

MrsSkylerWhite · 18/04/2022 20:43

Doesn’t matter what anyone else “thinks”.
You’ll have to comply with nursery policy.

Mumdiva99 · 18/04/2022 20:44

So if I have this straight......you have put full time care in place for your young child until September. You are not expecting your teenager to babysit every day - which would be perfectly legal. And you want your elder to be able to drop sometimes in the morning and collect in the evening.

Then once school starts sometimes you will need your teenager to drop off or collect but not every day.

Why wouldn't this be ok?

For those saying nonsense like 'our LA won't allow it' - what law is being broken? What risk is there to a teenager baby sitting? What policy prevents this?

As I see it your only other option is to skip childcare and leave teenager 100% in charge.....which, as you already realise, is way more unfair.

Common sense people.....

MJ123 · 18/04/2022 20:53

It's a really difficult one - please don't think I was criticising @misssunshine4040

It's just worth being aware that him being fine with it now may change.

Tiredalwaystired · 18/04/2022 20:55

Interesting policy from nurseries - what if the parent is under 18?

savehannah · 18/04/2022 20:56

I'm with @lameasahorse. The nursery are unlikely to ask to see your teenager's passport to check their age, are they? I would just say his grown up sibling will be collecting and say nothing about age unless they ask. If they do ask, I would say he's 16.

Soringhaze · 18/04/2022 21:06

I'd honestly say nothing and just do it. If they ask I'd say he's 16.

2bazookas · 18/04/2022 21:15

I did it when I was 16 (baby brother age 1). My single working mother had no other options so she didn't give the nursery a choice either.

Kanaloa · 18/04/2022 21:17

What risk is there to a teenager baby sitting? What policy prevents this?

Well the nursery policy. Doesn’t matter about common sense/what people think their 15 year old is capable of - if my manager says I must not sign a child out to their teen sibling then I can’t. It’s not up to me to decide it doesn’t make sense!

Original poster
misssunshine4040 · 18/04/2022 21:20

@Mumdiva99

So if I have this straight......you have put full time care in place for your young child until September. You are not expecting your teenager to babysit every day - which would be perfectly legal. And you want your elder to be able to drop sometimes in the morning and collect in the evening.

Then once school starts sometimes you will need your teenager to drop off or collect but not every day.

Why wouldn't this be ok?

For those saying nonsense like 'our LA won't allow it' - what law is being broken? What risk is there to a teenager baby sitting? What policy prevents this?

As I see it your only other option is to skip childcare and leave teenager 100% in charge.....which, as you already realise, is way more unfair.

Common sense people.....

Yes this is all correct.

I wouldn't except my teen to babysit him all summer as he is a handful and it would be unfair to place so much responsibility on him

OP posts:
WeOnlyTalkAboutBruno · 18/04/2022 21:23

Yeah clearly we’re questioning the policy itself. Not the staff for following the policy.

Kanaloa · 18/04/2022 21:24

But the nursery (and to be honest most nurseries) follow that policy - they’re unlikely to change it for op’s convenience. So saying the policy is stupid isn’t that helpful. It’s not like the nursery are unusual in it.

ElegantlyTouched · 18/04/2022 21:26

Do you know any of the other parents? If so, could you ask that your younger child be handed to them, and then to your older child? That way thr nursery is covered.

Rory1234 · 18/04/2022 21:29

When I was 15 I often collected my then 3 year old sibling from nursery. Our parents gave permission for me to collect him and nursery were fine with it. This was mid 90s so things may be stricter now!