To be sad at going grey already

[AHungryCaterpillar]

I’m so depressed about going grey at 33! I’ve found loads of grey hairs, I’m only early 30s surely this is too early? I already feel really old and past it anyway so this has just made me feel worse, I’m not ready to embrace them and don’t now want to spend the rest of my life dying my hair at 33. Doesn’t help that I’m allergic to hair dye so now what am I suppose to do. Aibu to think 33 is too early for this?! 😳

Most of my white friends started going grey at around your age - one at 21. You are right about Asian people - I had a couple of grey hairs last year but no more now at 50. I’m sure it will happen soon though.

I don’t think I’ll dye it - I am too lazy for make up or a skincare regime, so won’t do so. But I may well have dyed it at your age OP.

My mum used henna until recently, but I don’t like it.

@lljkk

Found my first white hairs at 19yo. Never dyed it away. I couldn't face the maintenance, plastic waste, expense, schedule, hassle, routine, "deception" of dying my grey out. It's not that I embraced it, I just ignored it.

I accept that the grey/white may make us look "old" but I can't agree that white/grey/old makes anyone look "bad".

I agree, too much faff. I was slightly younger when I started going grey (15/16 ish when I found the first handful). I've dyed it 2 maybe 3 times since, more because I've fancied a change than to hide it. I'm 33 now, probably 35-40% grey, if anything I'm annoyed it's taking so long to get to 100%. I don't think I look bad, or particularly older than my age.

If it makes you feel better OP, I'm late 20s and have already started finding white hairs 😢 Not grey but pure, snow white. My mum helpfully mentioned she didn't start going grey til her 40s

I’m yet to see any woman under about 50 with grey hair?

I see a good few - it was a definite trend around here (East London) about 5 years ago, and lockdown encouraged more women to give it a try.

Some have stuck with it, others didn't feel it was them and got a new cut and colour when the hairdressers reopened.

It wouldn't be at all unusual to see a mum of a baby and toddler with fully grey hair, for example.

@stripeyflowers

Ahungrycaterpillar

True. Or maybe it's because we don't actually realise they are that young because their grey hair adds a decade or two, .

Except it doesn’t. I embraced the grey at 43, it changed nothing, I still looked 43.

@AHungryCaterpillar

Yes that’s what I meant, they dye it, people are making out it’s normal to leave grey hair from 30s and just “embrace it” but no one irl does that in their 30s!

No idea who you are, you don't know who I am. Who are you to say no one embraces grey hair irl in their thirties? Some of us don't care or can't afford to dye our hair.

I was grey by 21 😂 which I know is a little early (but I was expecting it due to genetics). But still, I would have thought 33 to be completely standard age?!

Name change because obvs outing. But I started going grey at 18. 39 now and have had it grown out for the last 2 years. I don’t imagine it makes me any younger but I’m not convinced at the argument I look decades older 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s just hair OP, it doesn’t matter what colour it is. Age is what ages you not the colour of your hair.

I’m saying it’s unusual for women in their 30s to leave their hair grey? Surely you accept that? I’m sure some do but it’s uncommon, and I don’t personally know anyone that does but this thread everyone does?

@GreyHairdontcare1982

Name change because obvs outing. But I started going grey at 18. 39 now and have had it grown out for the last 2 years. I don’t imagine it makes me any younger but I’m not convinced at the argument I look decades older 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s just hair OP, it doesn’t matter what colour it is. Age is what ages you not the colour of your hair.

Beautiful hair. No, you don’t look decades older and the contrast of your young face and grey hair is stunning.

You can get hair “make up” - sort of dark eye shadow stuff. I only have a few greys but use that if they’re showing before I go out if I have something big planned (pretty infrequently!).
I’ve also decided to occasionally dye my hair dark with semi permanent dye only. Like you, my hair is dark and basically my options are:

1. Half embrace it, use semi permanent every now and then (and my cover up make up thing)
2. Get it dyed regularly and eventually have the white line down my parting - an option that I REFUSE, as I think grey hair always ALWAYS looks better than the grey/white stripe
3. Go lighter / blonder. I’ve done it before and it doesn’t really suit me, so that’s also out with no regrets.

I started going grey at 17. I fully embraced grey hair in my early 50's and really wish I had never dyed it at all. All that time and expense when I could have just let nature take it's course.

I started going grey at 11 and was almost completely grey by thirties. I suggest getting a grip. I’d rather have grey hair than something that actually requires worrying about like cancer for example. Colour it or rock it. Most people in their thirties have some greys.

I guess the more people that do it the more it normalises it. It might be unusual for people to embrace it but it’s certainly not unusual for women in their 30’s to have a lot of grey hair. If more people ditched the dye then grey hair wouldn’t seem to be so ageing.

There are some henna based hair tints that come in a box. I used to buy them from Holland and Barret

And I agree with other posters, early 30s is not early to have greys 🤷🏻‍♀️

GreyHairdontcare1982 🎉🙌 your hair is absolutely stunning! I am the same age but it hasn't went completely grey yet. I don't feel I need to dye it because of my age. I feel confident enough with it to let nature take its course.

I’m 35 and lots of grey hairs. I’ve just started dying it.

Could you try a hairdressers who have a wide variety of dyes and can do a thorough allergy test first?

@AHungryCaterpillar

Yes that’s what I meant, they dye it, people are making out it’s normal to leave grey hair from 30s and just “embrace it” but no one irl does that in their 30s!

Actually nowadays they do lots of people!

Not saying it's an easy road to go down, lots of expectations from older people......

But just so you know, grey hair doesn't make you look older 🤷🏻‍♀️ honestly! Your hair colour doesn't affect how old people perceive you to be. HOWEVER! it needs to be taken care of. And, very important, the colours you wear may no longer suit your new hair colour and you may need to tweak your wardrobe.

Dated haircuts and hairstyles are the ones that are show age a lot!!! Think "I need to see the manager" hairstyle, or rolls like the queen and my grandmothers

I got my first ones about 25 and I’m 33 like you. It’s gone from being the odd one to being quite a lot. I’m thinking about going back blonde to mean they don’t stand out as much, as I’m currently brunette.

I agree with you, it’s normal to have a few greys at our age but not usual to be very grey. I’m not embracing it. There was a thread in style and beauty about this topic (not embracing the grey) that was helpful!

Yes I find it interesting how many women on this thread apparently embrace their grey and never dye it but I’m yet to see any woman under about 50 with grey hair? Certainly no one I know friends/ family anyone I see around...

It’s one subject I have never brought up with friends but one or two I would guess are going down the “embracing it” route - only because they have long strands of grey and I’m assuming. All in their 30s. But yes, most don’t I guess.

It’s just honestly, I don’t love having the odd grey at all but I would far rather be all grey than have a grey stripe down my parting .. I hate it.
My mother dyes her hair every 2-3 weeks and STILL has the stripe the few days before she gets it done. It is noticeable and she’s look better all grey. She’s confided in me a few times that she wishes she’d never started dying it (30-40 years a go!) and doesn’t really know what to do.. how does she let it grow out without it looking awful? So yep, that’s me dying it semi permanently every now and then only.

I started going grey around your age, maybe earlier. I'm 37 now and the grey is really coming through and I also have quite a cool grey stripe. My hair is naturally very dark, thick and coarse. I made the decision not to dye it and just embrace it. It makes me annoyed that men can basically do what they want but women feel pressured to use all sorts of horrible chemicals on their hair to make themselves look younger. If you dye it yourself it looks a bit rubbish and if you go to a salon it costs a fortune. I just didn't want to get stuck in the endless cycle of dying it, and no ones fooled. Plus, at some point, usually in your 50s, you do end up looking like you're wearing a wig, but you won't notice. Ad then you'll have to do what my mum has just done, which is grow out the dye and let it go grey, and that really does look awful. Far better to save yourself the money and time and hassle and have confidence in the real you. If more of us embraced our grey it would be much more normalized and women could actually start looking their age, like men - nothing wrong with that.

I’m 22 and very significant chunks of my hair are grey. I started going grey at about 16.

I didn’t realise it was that weird tbh because I’m just taking after my parents.

GreyHairdontcare1982

You really, really suit it. Gorgeous hair

(I don't wear makeup and was trying a Elsa braid to show my kids 😅)

Obviously don't look as fabulous as PP.... but I think I still look like I'm 36 🤷🏻‍♀️ or maybe I'm totally deluded? Let me know