To be sad at going grey already

[AHungryCaterpillar]

I’m so depressed about going grey at 33! I’ve found loads of grey hairs, I’m only early 30s surely this is too early? I already feel really old and past it anyway so this has just made me feel worse, I’m not ready to embrace them and don’t now want to spend the rest of my life dying my hair at 33. Doesn’t help that I’m allergic to hair dye so now what am I suppose to do. Aibu to think 33 is too early for this?! 😳

Well I read the average is white people go grew in their mid 30s Asian people late 30s and black people mid 40s so I’m not sure I’m lucky? Going grey at 16 is obviously very unusual

@AHungryCaterpillar

It’s great that so many women in their 30s don’t mind it on here but I never see women in their 30s with grey hair anywhere and none of my friends or family are, good on you if you have the confidence but for me no way! I will have to find something I can use just didn’t expect it to be so soon...

Maybe they are, but they dye it? DH and I are 37. He’s about 80% grey, I haven’t yet found a grey hair. My mum didn’t go grey until her late 40’s so I’m guessing genes play a part.

Yes that’s what I meant, they dye it, people are making out it’s normal to leave grey hair from 30s and just “embrace it” but no one irl does that in their 30s!

@AHungryCaterpillar

Well I read the average is white people go grew in their mid 30s Asian people late 30s and black people mid 40s so I’m not sure I’m lucky? Going grey at 16 is obviously very unusual

Finding your first grey hair as a teenager really isn't that unusual. Its' just that you would rarely see someone that young with a headful so wouldn't necessarily notice dependent on the colour. Plus, most very young people would just disguise it in some way or pluck it out so you wouldn't know. I was at secondary school with a girl who was about 30% grey. Her mother was full iron grey in her 30s so, genetic.

My DS started going grey at 16, so it could be worse!!

@AHungryCaterpillar

YANBU to be upset, as you are still quite young. As people have said though, it's not uncommon to start going grey in yours 30s. I didn't get my first grey hair til my late 40s, but I know many people who started getting grey hairs at 28-35!

Just dye it like many other people do. I absolutely dye mine, and always will. Like fuck will I let the grey show - ever! If others want to, then good luck to them. Even though I don't mind looking my age, I refuse to look older.

And yes, going grey as you're getting older IS ageing. There's a couple both aged 58 in my street, and I have known them 5 or 6 years since they moved in. So since they were 52. He has always had grey-ish/white-ish hair, and SHE was brunette. Looked natural too as she has brown eyes and olive skin. She looked roughly her age; maybe 3-4 years younger. HE (even with the grey/white hair, also looked 3-4 years younger.)

A few months ago, she decided to 'embrace the grey' and stop dying it. She looks like she has aged 15 years. When I first saw her the other week (walking down the road with him,) I thought he was with his mum! I am gobsmacked at how much she has aged with her hair grey now.

As I said, no WAY will I go grey. The blonde is staying!

Yeah I know I said HE looks 3-4 years younger even with grey/white hair, but that's because for a start, I had only ever seen him like that. Plus, grey hair is more ageing on women (unfortunately.)

I'm in the same situation (mid 30s, lots of grey hairs, allergic to hair dye) and I know you've said that you don't want to do this but I have discounted all alternatives so I'm just going with it. What's hilarious to me is that my mum and gran still dye their hair (mid 50s and mid 70s respectively) and I've decided to let whatever happens happen. Just thought I'd add another post on to show you're not alone.

I've had to embrace it, also allergic to dye. I gave up on highlights a few years ago as it was just a waste of money as it wasn't hiding anything anymore! Grew them all out and am now about 50% grey, I use a purple shampoo and they greys are more silver, I have two big streaks and below shoulder length hair. I really like it now and have avoided the 'badger stripe' of growing out all over dye.

I felt like you at first, I've gradually come round to liking my greys, although they can be a bit wiry. I did go a bit mad with John Frieda's blonde spray-on bleach when I noticed my increasing number of greys (summer 2020), which I'm currently growing out.

It really helps to see it being normalised, I especially like Keanu's girlfriend's hair.

I started going grey at 17! I'm 27 now and have lots of greys, I just dye my hair as close to my natural colour as possible.

@MurmuratingStarling

Yeah I know I said HE looks 3-4 years younger even with grey/white hair, but that's because for a start, I had only ever seen him like that. Plus, grey hair is more ageing on women (unfortunately.)

Why is grey hair more ageing on women than men?

Almost 40, been going grey since 18. I just embrace it as I have no desire to dye my hair.

@Ansjovis

I'm in the same situation (mid 30s, lots of grey hairs, allergic to hair dye) and I know you've said that you don't want to do this but I have discounted all alternatives so I'm just going with it. What's hilarious to me is that my mum and gran still dye their hair (mid 50s and mid 70s respectively) and I've decided to let whatever happens happen. Just thought I'd add another post on to show you're not alone.

My own mum still dyes her hair in her 70s. Various shades of blonde. Personally could not be bothered with the faff.

I found my first greys in my teens, at your age I was about 30% grey I would say. I wouldn't find it aging, people in their 30s still have young-ish faces, so nobody is going to think you're 60 or anything. Conversely, nobody is going to believe that a 60 year old with dyed hair is actually 35, or that it is their natural hair colour. Generally speaking human beings look their actual age regardless of what they do about it cosmetically or not (and despite the polite lies other people tell them), so I wouldn't worry. You are still young, still time to enjoy being young! And I'm sure you look young even with grey hair!

I have got two unrelated friends who started going grey in their early teens. One was sent home from school after the summer holidays "until the bleached hair had grown out" this was in the 60's btw....she had to get a note from her doctor to say it was a natural colour change and not bleach.

I found my first greys at 16! Been slowly going grey ever since and I’m only 27!

@MurmuratingStarling

Yeah I know I said HE looks 3-4 years younger even with grey/white hair, but that's because for a start, I had only ever seen him like that. Plus, grey hair is more ageing on women (unfortunately.)

thats a belief because people say it is!

Are you sure you are allergic to all types of dye?

I’ve just spotted a white hair in my19 yr old’s head.

On my side of the family, we have a hideous early grey gene. But on my husband’s side they’re the opposite. My husband still has jet black hair at 55.

I agree, it’s rubbish to go grey young. There’s no way I’m ditching the dye. I know 2 people that have and they both look washed out and really old before their time. You’re very lucky and unusual if grey hair looks good on you.

It might not make me look 60 but it could easily make me look 40! Nothing wrong with being 40 but no woman wants to look older than they are

Unfortunately, not everyone goes grey by choice - they are forced into it by allergies. Or the expense of the upkeep. I just got fed up of planning my life around the next dye job and having to use camouflage colour powder to touch up the greys in between dye sessions. It's always more difficult if your hair is very dark. Blondes generally have it easier.

@AHungryCaterpillar

Absolutely not embracing it!

Start a hat collection.

@WhereWasThatFrom

Are you sure you are allergic to all types of dye?

I don’t know I will need to explore this more as I stopped dying when I was younger as I would always have an allergic reaction.

I started going grey in my late 20s, my hair is very dark so very noticeable. I now have to dye every 2-3 weeks to keep on top of them