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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not bother giving the balls back?

103 replies

Djbow · 18/04/2022 12:30

I don't get on with my neighbours. She's an unpleasant nasty person who previously told her kids in front of me (and half the street, as she has a voice like a foghorn) that I'm 'mental' and 'have a screw loose'. He's an ineffectual twat who can't or won't discipline his kids so they run rings round him. As a result, their numerous children are rude, arrogant and behave in an utterly entitled manner.

I avoid them as much as possible.

Yesterday I was out enjoying the sunshine doing some gardening. Next doors kids can see me from their window, and at first I can hear them saying what's fatty doing with those plants.. She's a fat cow, Big fat cow. Then they're chanting fat cow, fat bitch, etc. This went on for a good 10-15 mins or more.

It's not the first time I've heard them call me names. Last year I was off to a friends 40th, as I left the house they were outside gawping and I heard the kids say 'she looks disgusting, she's so fat'.

(I'm a size 16 fwiw, but tbh even if I was a size 32 they shouldn't be saying it).

Onto the balls...so in summer they typically kick at least 1 ball over daily. The fence is 7ft so there is no reason for this to keep happening other than that they are careless and expect to get the balls back. On Wednesday this week it was 5. I throw them back over when I see them (mainly because I can't bear them yelling over the fence 'give us our ball back' - no please or thank you of course!). Today they've kicked 3 over so far. AIBU to chuck them in the bin rather than give them back? I'm not going to reward the little sods for insulting me repeatedly.

And before anyone suggests speaking to the parents, another neighbour recently had a run in with them over the ball issue, dad gave it the whole the whole kids will be kids, they're only playing and it's kind to give the ball back (yes they are Be Kind twats, of course). And the kids were basically laughing at the neighbour, taking the piss, 'you got told' etc.

Kids are between 8 and 11 so old enough to know better.

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 18/04/2022 12:31

Christ, they sound awful. I'd be inviting a friend's dog round to puncture them all and then chuck them back.

DropYourSword · 18/04/2022 12:33

Yep. Stab them with a kitchen knife and chuck em in the bin (the balls, obviously!!)

Mamamia7962 · 18/04/2022 12:36

They sound awful. I wouldn't bin the balls but make them wait. If they knock on the door just ignore it and throw the balls back over the fence when it's convenient for you, maybe a week or two later!

Skyeheather · 18/04/2022 12:37

Is there any way that they could get the balls back themselves if you refuse to give them back? If there is, they will just help themselves, anytime day or not, whether you are in the far or not (this happened to my parents, they moved in the end).

Djbow · 18/04/2022 12:39

The problem with making them wait is they'll try and take them back themselves by climbing over my gate or the trees between our gardens. I'd rather they don't do that as they've damaged the gate already (cant prove it of course, so no point in saying anything).

OP posts:
Idontgiveagriffindamn · 18/04/2022 12:39

I personally would stab the balls with a knife and chuck them back over so they know not to kick any more over.

ShirleyPhallus · 18/04/2022 12:40

I’d not give them back and tell them it’s probably got something to do with how much of a fat cow you are

ZerotwoZero · 18/04/2022 12:41

OP, I once had neighbors like this I just disposed off all there balls in the bin. There father came round demanding them back I just politely responded every time and said sorry I was not aware of any and could not find them. Unless they can physically prove you took them or deprived them of the balls there is sod all they can do. The police don't have time to be dealing with missing balls that are your word against there's. Teach them a lesson 🤣

Kay7766923 · 18/04/2022 12:43

I would also stab them and then if anything is said just obviously lie and say they must have caught on a branch or something. Less likely to escalate into a slanging match then and also means a veneer of neighbourly behaviour remains but clearly shows your position.

GeneLovesJezebel · 18/04/2022 12:43

Chuck them over a different neighbours fence.

dropoutdoreen · 18/04/2022 12:44

Put them on their doorstep and a handwritten note,

Dear Neighbours, here are your balls back. Have a lovely Easter sweet kiddies

Love from, Big Fat cow at number 4

Ikeptgoing · 18/04/2022 12:48

@GeneLovesJezebel

Chuck them over a different neighbours fence.
This ^^

Id you throw their balls over a back garden (with gardening gloves on) there won't be any balls to collect when they ring or et to climb over a) "don't know what balls you mean as don't have any in my garden" and "oh dear thought they were balls belonging to back neighbours" if caught. Anyway they can't argue for balls that are in someone else's garden as they kick them so high, could have gone into anyone of many neighbours' gardens!" Grin

GeneLovesJezebel · 18/04/2022 12:50

I had my neighbours kids knocking on my door for their ball back. I told them not to knock, I’d put them back over when I wanted to. Then I started putting them over the back fence instead, and funnily enough, the balls stopped coming over.

Hugasauras · 18/04/2022 12:54

'Sorry, I'm such a big fat cow I ate them.' Grin

Djbow · 18/04/2022 12:56

There's only 1 neighbour behind, they're the ones who have had the whole Be Kind speech already, so I don't want to inflict more balls on them.

There is an unoccupied house 3 doors down with a massively overgrown garden which would be perfect but I can't throw that far!

OP posts:
Notanotherwindow · 18/04/2022 12:59

Stab them with a barbecue fork and toss them back. Or just bin and deny all knowledge.

VeryMuchFlaggingMinty · 18/04/2022 13:01

Taking notes as we have a new family next door (terraced) and I've had three balls over in less than a fortnight.

Rewis · 18/04/2022 13:11

@Djbow

There's only 1 neighbour behind, they're the ones who have had the whole Be Kind speech already, so I don't want to inflict more balls on them.

There is an unoccupied house 3 doors down with a massively overgrown garden which would be perfect but I can't throw that far!

Can you access this backwardness from the road or another public place? Cause that would be a good solution. I wouldn't destroy them. I'd just take it to the nearest public grassy area so other kids can enjoy them
whiteroseredrose · 18/04/2022 13:11

Rub them with dog poo before throwing back?

Blanketpolicy · 18/04/2022 13:11

Wait for the father to come and ask for them, let him do the whole be kind speech and tell them you are not inclined to go and look to see if there are any balls in your garden and be kind when his kids are rude and obnoxious to you.

Tell him you are busy and will go and look to see if there are any balls in your garden when you have free time, or you could go out of your way to go and look when his children come and ask for them along with a sincere apology for their name calling and a promise to stop it.

Highfivemum · 18/04/2022 13:12

Just bin them. Or drop them in a charity shop. Deny knowledge and get a cctv in ur garden. If it is council owned report them. If not keep a note and if the abuse continues report it to police. Prob will not do anything but you can drop it in convo with your friend while in your garden when big ears are listening.

SnowyPetals · 18/04/2022 13:16

They sound like awful neighbours. Normally I am an advocate of just chucking the balls back as it is such a small thing, but in this case I don't think I would. Is there a jumble sale you could give them to?

Chocolatecomaday · 18/04/2022 13:18

Let them down and throw them back. .

FavouritePi · 18/04/2022 13:25

My DD(4) had kicked/thrown over 3 balls, over a matter of months. I never expected to get them back and said "Oh dear, they're gone now. We must be more careful."

Suddenly one day they were all thrown back into the garden. To get them back is a privilege these kids should have learned long ago.

I wouldn't give them back.

TigerLilyTail · 18/04/2022 13:28

I’d stab them with a skewer and throw them back over.