AIBU to be infuriated by a giant teddy

[hiyerr]

Currently 5 months with number 4, spending a large amount of my free time (of which there isn't much due to the 2 week easter hols!) ruthlessly decluttering and cleaning, a whole house deep clean is overdue plus I've always been an early and extreme nester!

Husband begrudgingly took the older 2 out to an event today as I didn't fancy watching 3 under 8 amongst huge crowds on a hot day and being the desi driver while he got pissed and chatted to his mates. I could see myself standing in the queue for the 12th trip to ladies bathroom with kids extra hyper full of Easter morning's chocolate fuel. Between recently potty trained toddler and my lazy ass never doing pelvic floor exercises, outings are just a tour or public toilets these days... I digress. Despite worrying about his competence to chat and mind children simultaneously, I waved them off.

Four hours later I was sent a photo of my kids cuddling a 5ft nasty looking stuffed teddy bear. To which I replied 'that fcker better not be coming home, I'll set it on fire'.

Bearing in mind (no pun intended) he knows I just did a huge toy cull and we are already room-sharing for the foreseeable to fit the actual living breathing human beings into our house... what the frig was he thinking?

I realise its JUST a giant teddy but I instantly wanted to cry when it came through the front door in DD1s hands while DS1 proudly showed off his tube of slime (also giant, also not allowed in house following ruined sofa/carpet/clothing incidents, live and learn). I didn't cry, I wanted to, but my nature won't let me so I silently rage cleaned bathrooms and toilets... really punished myself 😅 until 1am.

Do I talk to children about the value of space and plead to donate teddy before any attachment can be made, or let the motherfudger hang around for 4 months first. I want to offload to the first charity shop that opens in the morning, but also feel like a w-anchor for being cruel when the kids were thrilled with the demonic thing.

Also irritated that DH spent so much money on winning it when I'm wearing tights with holes in the big toes to save money... grr.

I think I'm just wound up and need to vent but really, 5ft of totally pointless fire hazard, which I will have to drag back up the stairs every day in attempt to hide the thing?

Feeling overwhelmed with housework and to-dos and being told 'dont do so much' but getting no offer whatsoever of help in order for me to do less... and DH keeps suggesting we have people over, i want to hibernate...argh! Maybe the teddy is symbolic of a bigger problem 😂 therapise me.

If you stuck with me through all that, well done. I'll read it back in the morning and want to turn back time and delete, I'm sure. Dont think 6.30pm coffee helped, accidentally picked the caffeine.

Loft!

Feeling overwhelmed with housework and to-dos and being told 'dont do so much' but getting no offer whatsoever of help in order for me to do less

Of course this isnt about the Teddy! Ok why are you married to someone so crap that makes you feel this? And now having a 4th baby to him?

YANBU - 90% of toys coming in to my house are via MIL and DH, yet I'm the one that does ALL the decluttering, which is never straightforward as the guilt of sending it too the dump is strong so it has to all be sorted for local Facebook group, charity, recycling at the dump or bin and then it is me who has to take it to these places and none of the charity shops have parking outside, and are all at least 10 miles away.

So, OP you are absolutely entitled to your rant!

@Yoohoo778611

When our son was born Fil was so excited he purchased 'Sid'. The biggest badass bear in the world. Sid is 40 this year. Has moved home 4 times. Stayed with us when son moved out into a small house so no room for Sid. Our son moved into his new build house last year. Sid with the blessing of Dil now sits at the top of the stairs on the landing. Silly but I missed seeing him in our spare room.

So lovely.

I was given a huge raggedy doll at 2 by family. Hugo has moved with me four times and lived with my parents when I was working abroad. He now lives on top of my bedroom closet.

I would put it in a duvet cover, put it on a hot wash, finished with vinegar, and tumble dried thoroughly.

If it manages to get through all of that in one piece, thereby getting rid of any dust, off-gassing chemicals, or extraneous fluff, I would then use it as a boyfriend pillow to hold your bump/ leg/ knee while you sleep.

Meanwhile, I commiserate about the feckless husband and 4 children, but I can really only help with problems where the answer is a hot wash or a paste made with soda bicarb.

@DockOTheBay

How convenient for your husband, I bet you won't be sending him on days out with the kids without you in a hurry. That's what he wanted.

Oh dear, I think you need to step away from Mumsnet for a while!

#TeddyBearConspiracy 🙄

But does the dd like it and want it?

It's all very well saying get rid of it, but I can remember the joys of getting something and dm firmly disapproving of and telling me how poorly made/dirty/no space etc and getting rid of it, and how distraught I felt.

let it live on her bed for a bit, and some point when she wants something else that's a bit big try saying that there isn't room for both. Her reaction will show you how important the teddy is for her.

And for what it's worth, I have on a chair next to me two fairground prizes.
One was won by my gran in the 50s. It's stuffed with sawdust (that sometimes falls out).
The other was won by my uncle and given to me when I was born.
Both have lasted pretty well.

I had a giant teddy as a child, he was called Oscar.

Up until last year (I am 36!) I slept soundly every night in the knowledge that he was safe in my parents loft. Or so I thought.

Fuckers threw him away 25 years ago. My whole childhood was a lie.

#RIPOscar

@ilovepixie

I won a giant Teddy when I was 8. It was bigger then me. We called him Horace. We threw him away when I was 20. I can still see him in the back of the skip going up the road with his arm raised as if in farewell. I regret throwing him away and miss him every day!

Ide buckle him into the front seat of dps car. Feel your pain though ds2 came back from Alton towers last week with some giant fluffy thing. Currently taking up most of the floor space in his bedroom. I'm hoping nephew or niece will notice it and HAVE to take it home with them

You must have lots of toilets and bathrooms to be cleaning till 1am

Hahahaha love your descriptions of the teddy, you made me laugh so hard!!

As for the teddy... I'm with you, they should try to support you instead of adding things to your plate. Cant you use the teddy to make them help out more? "You can keep the teddy for 4 months only if ...you do so and so" no? Bad parenting advice?🙄

Buy a fresh fish and insert it into the abomination then sew back up. In a few days nobody will want the thing in the house or anywhere near them.

DD won a ginormous Care Bear in a claw machine-we were holidaying in America at the seaside at the time of her victory.

We actually bought a new case to fly the fucker home...

I used to do the "hide them in the loft til they forget about them and then secretly take to nearest charity shop" method

Having a 4th kid despite no room for them and no money for adult clothing. OK then.

A pair of tights or socks doesn't cost much

Tights don't cost much. If you're wearing tights with holes in them to 'save money' how far is £2 going to get you?

You do come across as someone who enjoys the martyrdom which is fine if it's your thing but I couldn't live like this.

Yes, life is too short to martyr yourself

I find it worrying that no one is considering the teddy's feelings. Bloody typical MN. Yes, some teddies can be an annoying waste of space but NATALT.

What you need to do is get teddy onside. Late at night position him next to the bed so he’s staring directly at DH. Maybe dress teddy up for how you’re feeling and move him about ? ( you know - pyjamas one day, give him a knife the next….) i think hubby did a lovely thing for the kids becuase I bet he thought twice about letting them have it -if they were that happy it’s incredibly hard to say no, we’ve all been there.

Chill out, book yourself a cleaner and find a spa for a day :)

Why on earth are you having a fourth child if you don’t have enough space / money / appear not to like your husband very much?!

@WackyMary I think when you get passed two you might as well carry on. But I can't get my head around wearing tights with holes in them to 'save money' but having a 4th??

Some people genuinely enjoy chaos. They don't know any other kind of life.

I scour the charity shops for giant stuffies for my dogs.
I can't find enough of them.