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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not let my DC read Harry Potter

100 replies

Heathofhares · 17/04/2022 22:46

and the Order of the Phoenix? She is 8 and quite immature. She has just discovered Harry Potter and is desperate to read them all. I am worried that the last few books are too scary and have very complex themes that she will be upset by (She didn't manage to watch Frozen until she was 7 and still thinks Moana is too scary...)

She is adamant that IABU not to give her all the books and let her see all the films. Who is right here?

OP posts:

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 17/04/2022 22:47

How many has she read yet?

knittingaddict · 17/04/2022 22:48

Reading a book is very different to watching a film, in my opinion. I would definitely let her start reading them and see how she gets on.

SolemnlySwear2010 · 17/04/2022 22:49

As a huge HP fan - YANBU, the books get quite dark after COS and I don't think an 8 year old.in mature enough to cope with some of the situations. My own almost 8yo has seen the first 3 movies and is begging to watch the rest, but we don't allow it even though she is very mature for her age.

Has she seen the movies? Maybe let her watch the first movie to quench her HP appetite?

DoraTheScottishExplorer · 17/04/2022 22:49

I'd give her the books one at a time, and hope that by the time she gets through the earlier ones she'll be ready for the later ones. Is she a fast reader?

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 17/04/2022 22:49

Why don't you read them all with her so you can see her reactions and stop if she gets scared or upset?

Original poster

Heathofhares · 17/04/2022 22:49

she's read them all up to the Goblet of Fire so far...

OP posts:

Poppitt58 · 17/04/2022 22:49

My daughter was 8 when she began reading the first book, but we’re spacing them. The later books are not appropriate for her in our opinion. We’ve explained it to her like that - and made the comparison with other authors eg not all Jacqueline Wilson books are appropriate yet.

Hellocatshome · 17/04/2022 22:50

I would agree with not watching the films but I dont think reading the books would be a problem.

CthulhuInDisguise · 17/04/2022 22:53

I grew up with no censorship of reading material, which gave me an insatiable love of reading. I treated my son the same way- he could come to me if he was curious about something he had read, or was scared or upset, or could just stop reading it. I would let her try and give her permission to not finish it if she's not enjoying it (it seems to be harder to give up reading a book than almost anything else).

BeQuicksieorBeDead · 17/04/2022 22:53

I think YANBU. My little boy is 8 and has read them up to the Deathly Hallows, but that’s because I felt he was able to cope. You don’t feel alright about it, go with your gut.

bunfighters · 17/04/2022 22:59

I have a very scared 8 year old (can't watch many films at all) and I have tried to slow them down with HP but there has been no stopping them (secretly taking the books from older siblings room and reading at night etc.) so clearly the books are not as scary as a film for them. They are actually fine with the HP films of the books they have read too.

I have even explained that they can get scary and were intended to be read over years rather than months, that the later books were intended for older children etc. but they love them and that's that apparently.

However, I was very similar at that age (long before HP!), terribly scared of lots of films but could read something scary and then would reread a few years later and enjoy and understand (the complexity) in a different way.

Also, the act of watching a film is not really comparable to reading a book in terms of being able to control the experience.

Hillsmakeyoustrong · 17/04/2022 23:00

I think the books get darker around the fourth book. The graveyard scene where Voldemort extracts Harry's blood is very dark. Absolutely adore HP and will be introducing my kids to him eventually but not until it's right.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 17/04/2022 23:00

My 7 year old has started reading and watching Harry Potter. I made her read the first book before she was able to watch the film. Watched 1-3 and they've definitely scared her. Seemed absolutely fine at the time but since she's scared of going to the toilet alone and has said she's scared of the dark. When we ask why she says 'Harry Potter'. The dementors in the third film are pretty terrifying. She INSISTED on starting the fourth book but has admitted it scared her immediately. So we're done now. Until she's 30

Greensleeves · 17/04/2022 23:01

I think if she's old enough to read it, then she's old enough to read it.

I didn't limit reading material when mine were young. I was always available to talk about anything that confused or unsettled them.

PinkWisteria · 17/04/2022 23:01

I would have said reading the books is fine - but she still finds Moana too scary??

GrandTheftWalrus · 17/04/2022 23:02

I'd let her read them as the books are different from the films. I was another one that wasn't censored in what I was reading and I still love reading to this day. I actually have kindle unlimited and read a book every day.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 17/04/2022 23:02

Sorry, YANBU. 1-3 fine for that age. 4 onwards, not so much.

Seamstressafter30 · 17/04/2022 23:04

Whats wrong with her getting a bit scared? She can put them down at any point. Also she will learn that you were right. Or, she might not get scared and you'll have worried for nothing.

PlasticineMeg · 17/04/2022 23:04

See how she gets on with the first few books. Order of the Phoneix IS scary though, even I struggled in adulthood and had to sleep with the light on

underneaththeash · 17/04/2022 23:06

That one is too old for her.

Branleuse · 17/04/2022 23:07

Id let her read it. Just warn her that its a bit scary so take it slow

PlasticineMeg · 17/04/2022 23:08

@Seamstressafter30

Whats wrong with her getting a bit scared? She can put them down at any point. Also she will learn that you were right. Or, she might not get scared and you'll have worried for nothing.

I’d usually agree but my DD read the first one when she was 8 and got scared, resulted in many nights of “I can’t sleep, can you sleep with me, can you stay til I fall asleep” etc and I was silently cursing that fecking Voldemort

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 17/04/2022 23:08

I just finished reading Deathly Hallows to DS who is very nearly 9. But I did edit it slightly as I read it to tone down some bits and he's only allowed to watch the first four films - he's ok with Goblet of Fire, but I think from Order of the Phoenix on he'll have to wait.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 17/04/2022 23:12

My DD was 9 in February and has seen all the films. She has the books and is on the second one. We went to see fantastic beasts the other night and she wasn't scared by any of it. However you know your own child

CheshireChat · 17/04/2022 23:12

Is she able to self regulate so to speak? As in stop if it's too scary?

My son can so he's allowed to try and see, but I know some of his classmates won't stop and then are terrified.

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